When do things get really hard??

Discussion in 'Twins, Triplets & Multiples' started by Wind, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. Wind

    Wind Well-Known Member

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    Is there a honeymoon period, of sorts, while at the hospital? Does life as a new twin mom get really hard once you get home or does it start right away at the hospital?
     
  2. Eternal

    Eternal Three boys!

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    Good question, been wondering that myself.
     
  3. lizziedripping

    lizziedripping Well-Known Member

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    I have found with all my kids that the first 24hrs are quite calm, and baby/ies are quiet (recovering from the delivery and are usually tired and not interested in feeding). You are exhausted, and it is difficult to sleep in hospital so you tend to nap when you can day and night for those first few days. During that time the babies are reasonably settled and pretty undemanding.

    It is usually by day 2/3 that things kick off, and in my experience 24hrs before my milk has come in!!! I have always found myself on demand feeding every 30mins/hr from day 3 onwards, and usually my babies are ravenous and unsatisfied because my milk is only just beginning to come in my day 3/4. I personally find that transition period quite stressful, because you are tired from lack of sleep, getting desperate for home and have a suddenly 'wide awake' full on baby asking to be fed!

    Just as you think you might tip over the edge, you are allowed home, the milk starts flowing and babies are more satisfied. Although it is still tiring and demanding, you can steadily then begin the recovery process in the comfort of your own home, and start to get a routine going.

    This of course is all based on a 4/5 night hospital stay (which you may not need), and on a reasonably rough delivery (both of which I had). I can't say that the twins were any harder for me than my singletons had been, but then they weren't my first and for me having gained experience with singletons, it made the twin experience easier. I was busier with two, but they were no more or less demanding than one had been (I had a very unsettled, whingy first baby tho ;)).

    Having a newborn is hard work and an adjustment anyway (as you already know girls), and I don't think two newborns are that much harder except that there is less time and opportunity for sleep (but then I never had that anyway with my first).

    So in a nutshell, the hard work starts immediately, tiredness and recovery from the delivery initially, then the demands of babies second. It is easier to manage the babies once at home, because help in hospital is scant, and you get to sleep in your own bed, eat your own food etc, but the babies themselves are no more or less difficult whether at home or in hospital once they have 'woken up' to the world by day 3.

    Get a good routine from the outset if you can because this is key to surviving those early weeks. All in all there is nothing better than having babies (especially twins) so once you are through those first tiring weeks, the rewards will far outweigh initial difficulties :hugs: Jees I've rambled - sorry lol xxx
     
  4. Wind

    Wind Well-Known Member

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    Please Lizzie, "ramble" anytime! I can't tell you how helpful your posts have been.

    I am going in for my c-section on Friday morning and will either go home on Sunday or Monday, depending on how I'm feeling.

    My first two were ridiculously easy, so I'm a little afraid of how two will be. People always are so full of doom and gloom. You know, "It's going to be soooooo hard..." and, "You'll cry all the time..." and, "You will never have time for yourself again..." I find it all very frustrating. I know it won't always be a picnic, but aren't there bright spots along the way too?? I sure hope so.
     
  5. lizziedripping

    lizziedripping Well-Known Member

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    Hi Wind. I think that having had two already, you won't find the twins that difficult at all. If your first were easy babies, then it is more than possible that the twins will be too - you can but hope ;)

    I had a very easy twin, and the other was as impossibly difficult as his older brother had been lol. Beauty is, he is now turning into the beautiful, placid, loving and sensitive creature that my oldest eventually became too once he had passed through the 'baby phase', whereas my 'easy' baby is now more precocious and demanding.

    Of course I can't speak for Mums of first-time twins, but I can say that I found the twins much easier to manage because I had had previous experience. I cannot imagine them being my first babies - I was falling apart with one, let alone two!! I guess it very much depends on the baby and the mother tho ;)

    As a Mum of two already you're gonna be fine hun, (and you sound like such a loving, patient mother) - the hospital experience is really no different with two. In fact because I had a planned section, and everything was calm and prepared, I felt much more in control than I had with my singletons. I would do the whole thing over again in a heartbeat :hugs:
     
  6. Wind

    Wind Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, thank you, thank you!! It is so encouraging to hear that maybe I CAN do this.

    Do you have any c-section advice for those of us who have never had one? I am terrified of both the procedure and the recovery. (Boy I sound like a huge coward over here, don't I?)
     
  7. lizziedripping

    lizziedripping Well-Known Member

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    Not at all hun :hugs: I didn't fear the procedure only because my vaginal birth experience had been traumatic, so for me it really couldn't be any worse ;)

    I did heamhorrhage during my section, but this also happened with my first, natural delivery too and was because my uterus was over-distended due to baby size, and wouldn't contract back down. It had nothing to do with the section itself.

    As an experience it was calm, peaceful and very positive. I had an army of staff present, and they were reassuring and very supportive throughout - I never felt their anxiety at any time despite there being concern over my blood loss. I can honestly say it was the best day of my life, and I was only sorry that it was over so quickly - an anti climax after the 9mths of anticipation ;)

    For 2/3 days I was sore and couldn't really walk. I was nervous that this was set to stay, but on day 3 I felt suddenly more mobile and in significantly less discomfort. It vanished over night. I ached and struggled to move around freely for another 2/3wks, but managed around the house absolutely fine with the help of strong painkillers as and when I needed them. It really wasn't that bad, and I suspect that much of my discomfort was related more to my 8mths of bed rest and weak muscles. Moving again was really hard after the months of immobility and extreme weight I had been carrying.

    Hope that helps x
     
  8. AngelUK

    AngelUK Mummy of twin boys

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    I love reading your posts too and those of other twin mums. I am going to be a first time mum with these two and I am trying to prepare myself to the never sleeping and crying all the time part which I guess I will have since I have no experience as yet. I am hoping to learn more from you experienced mums and know from the beginning how I can implement a good routine cause I am sure without it would be impossible. So thank you again all you lovely mums who share their experience and wisdom :D
     
  9. Mea

    Mea Mum to 3 miracles.

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    I think there Definatley is a honeymoon period!!! While in hospital I remember thinking this is easy! But the I had no toddler tp take of and no house etc to think about.
    But the first week at home it really hit me just how hard having two babies was and I will admit to alot of tears in those first few weeks. But then there were also the amazing moments watching these two little adoring faces looking back at you, cuddling two babies as they fall asleep in your arms, seeing those first signs of a smile, watching as they snuggle up together in their cot, seeing strangers just look at your babies and smile!
    Yes twins are hard but it is worth every single second, and it does get easier.
    This board as also be a great great help and people on here were full of great advice.
     
  10. Eternal

    Eternal Three boys!

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    Thanks everyone, like wind My baby was so easy and I'm worried about these two. I keep stressing about oh going back to work which I never did with my first. I guess we shall find out soon enough.
     
  11. Wind

    Wind Well-Known Member

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    It is wonderful to know that you ladies are here as a resource when things get difficult. I am so thankful for all of you!!
     
  12. _Vicky_

    _Vicky_ Mum to twins

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    the boys are my first - I had never even changed a nappy! I didnt have a normal start - Fynn was really ill and went to NICU 12 hours after birth and stayed there for three weeks. Sam came home with me after 3 days - I cant really remember those three weeks tbh. I then had mastitus abscesses drained when the boys were 9 weeks old and was on tramadol and daily wound care for months (god that sounds a right trauma doesnt it) so I cant really comment on the early days.

    BBUUUTTTT I tell you if I can do it anyone can - it just gets better and better xxxxxxxxx
     

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