When is the right time?

[Pancha67]

Hello baby bumpers,

I have a dilemma for you all...

When is the right time?

Me and my boyfriend want to start a family but we are worried about money as I may not be entitled to maternity pay.

I have recently started a new job which is for 6 months (possible extension but its 6 months probation period). This runs out October.
We rent at the moment but could buy.

We were going to try in July but worried that they wont keep me on after 6 months probation. And whether we can afford it regarding maternity pay etc.

Thanks

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

There is never a right time, there can be a wrong time, never a right one.

Whatever happens you will manage because you have to.

 

[bucherwurm]

A lot of people who are planning or thinking about planning a baby ask themselves that, and if you think about it too much, there will rarely if ever be a perfect time. Like Pancha said, there is a wrong time, especially if it's planned, like being homeless or something, but if it happens, you deal with it because you have to.

 

[Eline]

I would seek some advice about your employment en maternity pay situation. Do you have a union or a consultant you can turn to?

 

[Pandora0814]

I asked myself the same question even when I got married. Can we afford our rent, our 3 vehicles, my husband’s snow plowing business, the utilities, food, health insurance (usa), his daughter needs from his first marriage (not including child support already being deducted), our 2 dogs… a baby of our own!
I still say this even know sometimes, but we have pulled through over the past couple years.

Now our biggest issue is finding a new house because the one rent now doesn’t have enough bedrooms. I agree with a couple girl above me. You will somehow manage because we as women always do for our children.

 

[tverb84]

I've asked myself this question a few times. Right now I know I'm not ready to have children but one day I will be.

 

[Millhaven]

I'm not sure there ever will be a time that's perfect for having a baby. But as other have told you before, there can be a "wrong" time.

As for myself, the "right" time for TTC is now. Me and my OH both have a job and an apartment with room for one more that's located in a quiet and friendly area.

It feels right and we're ready.

 

[DandJ]

The famous expression is "Wait until I was ___ (insert word, aka 'financially') ready, I'd never have a baby".

Really, it comes down to what you and your boyfriend feel comfortable with. Only you two know what your situation is like and like someone else mentioned, when it does happen, you'll find a way to make it work.

However, it is a good idea to educate yourself on what your employer offers to help be prepared as much as you can be.

 

[bellaxgee]

seriously, I don't know how we do it...but we do. my husband keeps asking this and I always tell him if we wait to be "ready" we will be waiting forever.

 

[tverb84]

I totally agree about there's never a "perfect" time since nothing is ever perfect.I do think there is a right time when you're meant to have children. Some people reach that time earlier than others and some later. I know one day I'll have children I just know.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Personally if I was in your situation i'd wait. If there is uncertainty about maternity pay i'd wait until I was in a stable job or at least got clarification that I was entitled to maternity pay. I don't think it's something that can just be winged personally, think of the stresses that financial uncertainty could bring when it's supposed to be an exciting time in life. I agree that whatever happens you'll cope because you have to, but the question is do you really want to have to be in the situation whereby you are just coping? Personally i'd rather be a little more comfortable even if it means waiting.

 

[Mrsb3]

There is never really a right time. Unjust had a baby and got pregnant 12 weeks after. Of course that is classed as a wrong time to baby but almost 9 months later I'm due in 2 weeks and everything has worked out! We are all really excited- and I can't imagine it any other way