when is the right time?

[Kiki1993]

I'm so confused about when is the best time to have a baby. I read online late teens and early twenties is the best to concieve a healthy child and to keep up with the children. But then I'm 21 right now, been working 4 years but going back to college in sept and only working part time through college. By the time I finish i could be 26, i'm just so confused over when is the right time.
Emotionally, physically and mentally I feel ready for a baby but financially we would struggle But then I see people in worse position than us who have babies and are fine When we originally tried we had our own flat (private let), we were both working full time and permanent but then OH got laid off and we struggled financially so stopped trying. I have a list but I'm not sure if it is do able
How do you all know when you will be ready?

 

[Noodlebear]

Never. There will never be a 'right' time. I signed up to go back to college before I found out I was pregnant. LO was due a month before I was supposed to start so I pulled out, it's just not an ideal time to be having a baby. If I were in your situation I would wait and 26 is still very young! You'll have got through college so your job prospects and earning potential will be better and you'll have had that little bit more time to enjoy just being you and your OH. If you think you'd struggle financially I don't think it's fair to add another life into the situation and comparing your finances to other people's is never a good idea. You're unlikely to know for definite how much people earn and unless you know the ins and outs of their outgoings you just can't say how much money they have at their disposal.

 

[Kiki1993]

Thanks, i'm glad we are waiting, it's just hard to see people who have everything i want now and i have to wait. my friend who didn't want kids is now married, got a mortgage and a baby on the way. jealousy is an ugly thing
I'm okay with waiting to be finacially stable because i want my kids to have the things i didn't but I hear horrible things in articles and statistics etc which make me double guess myself.
I am excited to go back to college, i will try enjoy it this time, last time i was such a stressball, never ent out on student night with friends and this time i want to have fun, work hard but make friends too
just got to believe it will be worth it in the end!

 

[Noodlebear]

I'm pretty gutted I didn't go back to college because I'd be going into my last year of uni in Sept if I had. It is awful when you're seeing other people start their families but you'll be set for life if you wait a bit. I think in a few years a lot of people who might've rushed into it a bit will actually be jealous of you! Lol (myself included).

 

[lozzy21]

There is never a right time but there are certainly wrong times to have a baby. Physically early 20's is the best time to be pregnant but for everything else waiting is better.

 

[Noodlebear]

You can be in your early 20s and have a more stable environment for a child than someone in their 30s. It's about circumstances more than age.

 

[xprincessx]

I don't think there ever is a "right time". Even if you feel you are in the best position regarding finance and relationship anything can happen at any time that you are unprepared for. I feel that as long as both parties want a baby and are in a healthy relationship then it's the "right time"

 

[mummytobe_93]

I don't think there ever is a right time!
I got unexpectedly pregnant whilst I was at university I was 19 at the time and sadly mc'd. We then decided we wanted a baby and I got pregnant straight away. We were both still living at our parents house but it forced us to save up and move out. So we saved up for a mortgage and moved in to our new house a few months before our baby arrived. Now we are deciding when the best time is to have our second, do we have one soon or do we wait so I can go back to university and study 😒 very confusing and hard to decide!