When to CIO??

[LilDreamy]

I'm sure the answer is somewhere on this board, but I don't have the time to look, Alexa is about to wake.

My baby is nearly 4 months old, and cannot/ will not go to sleep without a boob or bottle, while in my arms or lying beside me.

She is only like this with me. The babysitter can get her to fall asleep easily with a big swing she has. But Alexa refuses the swing that we have.

The second I try to put her down in her crib while she is asleep, she will wake up, stare at me for three seconds, pokes that bottom lip out and screams to the top of her lungs like I betrayed her.

I've tried rocking her to sleep, I've tried rubbing her tummy while in the crib while crying... nothing works.

In 2 more months someone is going to have to watch my baby for three weeks because my job is making me go to some sort of training. I'm scared whoever watches her won't get any sleep, and I don't want them to go through that.

When is a good time to start the CIO Method... Or should I even do it??

Thanks.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

CIO is not recommended before 6 months old.

I'm sure there will be other ladies who can give you more advice.. I personally don't agree with it but to each their own

 

[Peardrop]

There are lots of different methods of 'training' your LO to self settle. CIO is just one 'method'. I think the answer is - how do you want to approach the issue and what is best for your baby?

There are a number of books and websites that can help so it would probably be best to research the different ways and decide what you feel is best.

 

[bloodbinds]

I started CIO when my LO was almost 6 months, it's not really recommended before then. Under 6 months your child is usually crying for a reason, and a lot of the time over 6 months your child has learnt to cry to get your attention.

Also, dont go from feeding her to sleep, to rocking her to sleep, to rubbing her tummy to sleep - all of these are really bad habits, and if you teach her to go to sleep by being rocked it means you will always have to rock her, and when she wakes in the middle of the night and you are tired, you are going to have to rock her, about 10 times until morning. There is no point going from feeding to sleep, to rocking to sleep or whatever, cuz it's still teaching your baby that the only way they can go to sleep is via YOU. You want her to learn to sleep on her own.

At this age what you might want to try is making sure she doesnt fall asleep on the boob or bottle, keep her awake by tickling her feet or face, or taking away the boob or bottle the moment she starts to close her eyes. Then after shes fed and she is awake, put her down into her cot, if she cries then comfort her then put her back down. Teach her that she doesnt need to fall asleep by being fed (or rocked or anything else)

When you feed or rock them to sleep, they learn that they can only get the sleep via these methods, so when they wake in the night (all babies do, several times, and so do adults!) they will cry for you as they think they need to be fed/rocked to sleep.
Teaching them to fall asleep on their own means when they wake in the night, they will not cry out for you, as they know they can fall asleep on their own, so they do

 

[choc]

I found this very useful x

https://www.babysleepanswers.co.uk/

 

[Lena]

I started CIO when my LO was almost 6 months, it's not really recommended before then. Under 6 months your child is usually crying for a reason, and a lot of the time over 6 months your child has learnt to cry to get your attention.

Also, dont go from feeding her to sleep, to rocking her to sleep, to rubbing her tummy to sleep - all of these are really bad habits, and if you teach her to go to sleep by being rocked it means you will always have to rock her, and when she wakes in the middle of the night and you are tired, you are going to have to rock her, about 10 times until morning. There is no point going from feeding to sleep, to rocking to sleep or whatever, cuz it's still teaching your baby that the only way they can go to sleep is via YOU. You want her to learn to sleep on her own.
At this age what you might want to try is making sure she doesnt fall asleep on the boob or bottle, keep her awake by tickling her feet or face, or taking away the boob or bottle the moment she starts to close her eyes. Then after shes fed and she is awake, put her down into her cot, if she cries then comfort her then put her back down. Teach her that she doesnt need to fall asleep by being fed (or rocked or anything else)

When you feed or rock them to sleep, they learn that they can only get the sleep via these methods, so when they wake in the night (all babies do, several times, and so do adults!) they will cry for you as they think they need to be fed/rocked to sleep.
Teaching them to fall asleep on their own means when they wake in the night, they will not cry out for you, as they know they can fall asleep on their own, so they do

Please don't think im being cheeky asking this but im really curious where you got this information from? I always rocked or fed my baby to sleep and in time he learned to self settle on his own and sleeps through the night now. I've never used any sleep training, he did it when he was ready. I now put him in his cot and he babbles himself to sleep for the night. I believe they all do it in their own good time when they're ready to.

 

[Arcanegirl]

for CIO definately no earlier than 6 months.

We use the sleepsense programe which you can start earlier, and tailors to the babys age

 

[special_kala]

I started CIO when my LO was almost 6 months, it's not really recommended before then. Under 6 months your child is usually crying for a reason, and a lot of the time over 6 months your child has learnt to cry to get your attention.

Also, dont go from feeding her to sleep, to rocking her to sleep, to rubbing her tummy to sleep - all of these are really bad habits, and if you teach her to go to sleep by being rocked it means you will always have to rock her, and when she wakes in the middle of the night and you are tired, you are going to have to rock her, about 10 times until morning. There is no point going from feeding to sleep, to rocking to sleep or whatever, cuz it's still teaching your baby that the only way they can go to sleep is via YOU. You want her to learn to sleep on her own.
At this age what you might want to try is making sure she doesnt fall asleep on the boob or bottle, keep her awake by tickling her feet or face, or taking away the boob or bottle the moment she starts to close her eyes. Then after shes fed and she is awake, put her down into her cot, if she cries then comfort her then put her back down. Teach her that she doesnt need to fall asleep by being fed (or rocked or anything else)

When you feed or rock them to sleep, they learn that they can only get the sleep via these methods, so when they wake in the night (all babies do, several times, and so do adults!) they will cry for you as they think they need to be fed/rocked to sleep.
Teaching them to fall asleep on their own means when they wake in the night, they will not cry out for you, as they know they can fall asleep on their own, so they do

Please don't think im being cheeky asking this but im really curious where you got this information from? I always rocked or fed my baby to sleep and in time he learned to self settle on his own and sleeps through the night now. I've never used any sleep training, he did it when he was ready. I now put him in his cot and he babbles himself to sleep for the night. I believe they all do it in their own good time when they're ready to.

We did the same and River self settled in her own time (by 7 months i think)

CIO isnt recomended until 6 months though IMO thats still to young. Babies only really learn how to make themselves stay awake at 8 months before that they are crying for a reason

 

[Lightworker]

OP what you are describing is fairly normal behaviour for babies. It is comforting for them to fall asleep while being nursed and this fine and as they grow older they will grow out of it, as was the case with my DD1. Don't feel like it is a bad habit you have to remedy. If someone else will be looking after her, they can try other methods eg when I have to nip out, my DH puts LO in a sling and she falls asleep that way. You could ask the lady to try afew "practice runs" before you actually leave.

 

[bloodbinds]

I started CIO when my LO was almost 6 months, it's not really recommended before then. Under 6 months your child is usually crying for a reason, and a lot of the time over 6 months your child has learnt to cry to get your attention.

Also, dont go from feeding her to sleep, to rocking her to sleep, to rubbing her tummy to sleep - all of these are really bad habits, and if you teach her to go to sleep by being rocked it means you will always have to rock her, and when she wakes in the middle of the night and you are tired, you are going to have to rock her, about 10 times until morning. There is no point going from feeding to sleep, to rocking to sleep or whatever, cuz it's still teaching your baby that the only way they can go to sleep is via YOU. You want her to learn to sleep on her own.
At this age what you might want to try is making sure she doesnt fall asleep on the boob or bottle, keep her awake by tickling her feet or face, or taking away the boob or bottle the moment she starts to close her eyes. Then after shes fed and she is awake, put her down into her cot, if she cries then comfort her then put her back down. Teach her that she doesnt need to fall asleep by being fed (or rocked or anything else)

When you feed or rock them to sleep, they learn that they can only get the sleep via these methods, so when they wake in the night (all babies do, several times, and so do adults!) they will cry for you as they think they need to be fed/rocked to sleep.
Teaching them to fall asleep on their own means when they wake in the night, they will not cry out for you, as they know they can fall asleep on their own, so they do

Please don't think im being cheeky asking this but im really curious where you got this information from? I always rocked or fed my baby to sleep and in time he learned to self settle on his own and sleeps through the night now. I've never used any sleep training, he did it when he was ready. I now put him in his cot and he babbles himself to sleep for the night. I believe they all do it in their own good time when they're ready to.

https://www.sleepsense.net/

You have to remember that all babies are different though, someone will settle themselves to sleep no problem, others will want you to spend 2 hours trying to get them to sleep before they finally will! Lol.
I have to very good friends who still have to rock their 14 month and 16 month babies to sleep (actually one is still breastfed to sleep) and they are half dead on their feet all the time because these babies have not yet learnt how to fall asleep on their own, but don't want to use CIO methods.


Sleepsense is a great method and has great knowledge, and has helped a lot of people (there is a sleepsense support group on here also)

I think you're a right, and eventually all children will learn to sleep on their own - you won't find a 21 year old still needing to be rocked to sleep will you! Lol. But there are many mothers who don't want to spend the next 6 years getting up 10 times a night and rocking their babies to sleep, lol!

 

[Blaumba]

Try the "No Cry Sleep Solutions" book..

https://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php?nid=386&isbn=0071381392

 

[Lena]

I started CIO when my LO was almost 6 months, it's not really recommended before then. Under 6 months your child is usually crying for a reason, and a lot of the time over 6 months your child has learnt to cry to get your attention.

Also, dont go from feeding her to sleep, to rocking her to sleep, to rubbing her tummy to sleep - all of these are really bad habits, and if you teach her to go to sleep by being rocked it means you will always have to rock her, and when she wakes in the middle of the night and you are tired, you are going to have to rock her, about 10 times until morning. There is no point going from feeding to sleep, to rocking to sleep or whatever, cuz it's still teaching your baby that the only way they can go to sleep is via YOU. You want her to learn to sleep on her own.
At this age what you might want to try is making sure she doesnt fall asleep on the boob or bottle, keep her awake by tickling her feet or face, or taking away the boob or bottle the moment she starts to close her eyes. Then after shes fed and she is awake, put her down into her cot, if she cries then comfort her then put her back down. Teach her that she doesnt need to fall asleep by being fed (or rocked or anything else)

When you feed or rock them to sleep, they learn that they can only get the sleep via these methods, so when they wake in the night (all babies do, several times, and so do adults!) they will cry for you as they think they need to be fed/rocked to sleep.
Teaching them to fall asleep on their own means when they wake in the night, they will not cry out for you, as they know they can fall asleep on their own, so they do

Please don't think im being cheeky asking this but im really curious where you got this information from? I always rocked or fed my baby to sleep and in time he learned to self settle on his own and sleeps through the night now. I've never used any sleep training, he did it when he was ready. I now put him in his cot and he babbles himself to sleep for the night. I believe they all do it in their own good time when they're ready to.

https://www.sleepsense.net/

You have to remember that all babies are different though, someone will settle themselves to sleep no problem, others will want you to spend 2 hours trying to get them to sleep before they finally will! Lol.
I have to very good friends who still have to rock their 14 month and 16 month babies to sleep (actually one is still breastfed to sleep) and they are half dead on their feet all the time because these babies have not yet learnt how to fall asleep on their own, but don't want to use CIO methods.


Sleepsense is a great method and has great knowledge, and has helped a lot of people (there is a sleepsense support group on here also)

I think you're a right, and eventually all children will learn to sleep on their own - you won't find a 21 year old still needing to be rocked to sleep will you! Lol. But there are many mothers who don't want to spend the next 6 years getting up 10 times a night and rocking their babies to sleep, lol!

I do agree that after a certain amount of time there may be a need to look into sleep training but i do also think that time is at least past 6 months. I'm not gonna lie, if Nate got to a year and was still waking loads during the night and wouldnt go to sleep easily, yeh, i would look into sleep training but for babies so young i think it is natural for them to wake and need reassurance from mummy and daddy. I think they do need to be given a fair chance to learn these skills themselves and maybe some people are expecting too much from their 4, 5, 6 month old. Just my thoughts.

 

[bloodbinds]

Yeah i agree, which is why i said CIO is not recommended before 6 months. Babies that young cry for a reason (i believe)
If she wants her LO to start sleeping better now, there are things she can try and do to make this happen faster, but it's not always going to work when you can't CIO or CC, but they can sometimes be worth a try.

 

[Kitty23]

Don't feel you have to try cc or cio because you are worried of upsetting someone else because your baby isnt sleeping through the night. But if you do chose to try it I would recommend cc first, or try tracy Hogg's E.A.S.Y routine alot of people swear by it. Good luck xxx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I have been using CIO with Albert. I tried no-cry, PUPD, PUPDCD and CC and he KNEW what I was doing, I swear. It got the point that I knew it was a battle of wills and only crying would work.

I wouldn't do it before 6 months, and it may be worth trying other methods first. I think sometimes you just know if your baby needs to be left to cry!

 

[Tink2312]

you could try letting her get dozy before putting her down and start by staying with her and 'assisting' her to sleep in her crib with strokes on her nose or whatever works for her then as she gets the idea put her down dozy and leave and progress on to being more awake... it may encourage her find her way to self settling....

 

[aliss]

IMO I think CIO is when you have exhausted all other methods and are desperate to the point that it is seriously affecting your life.

OP- I accidentally did CIO about 2 weeks ago with my LO (forgot to turn on the monitor) and he would wake 1x for a bit of milk or attention. When we woke up at 5am, he had no voice, he had no smiles, and didn't look at me or talk to me all day, he was clearly quite disturbed. It did not work either - he still wakes the same as before. To me, it was not worth it. It made me feel horrible. He still feeds to sleep but that doens't bother me.

You've heard from some girls who did it as well with success. Off the top of my head, dopeyjopey and kitty23 were at the desperation point (if I remember correctly...), so that would be a situation of really needing to change things for everyone's sake.

It's really up to you - but all people generally agree that 4 months is too young.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

IMO I think CIO is when you have exhausted all other methods and are desperate to the point that it is seriously affecting your life.

OP- I accidentally did CIO about 2 weeks ago with my LO (forgot to turn on the monitor) and he would wake 1x for a bit of milk or attention. When we woke up at 5am, he had no voice, he had no smiles, and didn't look at me or talk to me all day, he was clearly quite disturbed. It did not work either - he still wakes the same as before. To me, it was not worth it. It made me feel horrible. He still feeds to sleep but that doens't bother me.

You've heard from some girls who did it as well with success. It's really up to you - but all people generally agree that 4 months is too young.

Completely agree with your bit in bold there Aliss. I had always said I would never let him CIO but it got the point that I was really snapping at him because he wouldn't sleep and I was starting to resent him for it So it was kind of my only option left and he is much happier during the day now.