When to Get Help--Anxious/Confused

[bassdesire]

So I love being a mommy to my daughter. I don't love being preggo and I just feel so emotional and anxious with this pregnancy. I don't know why. We don't know the sex so I think I am having a harder time "bonding" ahead of time. I haven't really purchased anything or thought of names either (partly because we don't know and it is a bit harder to get motivated). Also, this might be the last one and coping with that is hard to deal with. My mom was here recently and she said, "you'll never have to do it again so there is that." That really hit me hard for many days--I thought to myself... did I say that? Did I hint at that??? I don't want people thinking this is it and being negative or surprised if it happens again.

Even so, I just seem so indifferent this time around. Is this something I should really worry about? Do I need to talk to someone?

My hubby is very supportive, but my emotions are way out of whack lately. I am constantly up and down with them and my feelings about this baby and this pregnancy. I am focusing on the things that don't matter like stressing about the double stroller...in the end, who cares? It is just a stroller--but still it is causing anxiety.

I am so tired and I am getting to that "I'm done point" earlier this time than last time. But at the same time, I don't really want the baby here now. I am so nervous about loving them both, caring for them both, and being able to be as good to this one as the last.

SIGH...

Just a rant...

Anyone else feel this way?

 

[SuperKat]

I definitely get the 'feeling done' part earlier!

I would talk to your ob/gyn about how you are feeling, especially if it is concerning you.

For me, some of the things you have mentioned seem pretty normal- with my first I was crazy with all the details, with the following babies, I was MUCH more relaxed, so far with this one I haven't done a single thing- haven't even started on the nursery, etc.

I have a lot of moments where I just feel depressed- and I know it is related to just not getting enough sleep, always being uncomfy, my back hurting, pain from SPD, etc. I *have* however suffered from depression during and after pregnancy with my first- it got really bad, and was 10x worse after having my son...the feeling I had then is much different than what I get now- which is how I know it isn't something to worry about. You know yourself better than anyone, if you feel like you are needed the help, don't wait to ask for it!

 

[Angelique]

Superkat is 100% right.... you know yourself best...

I was having many of the same issues you describe when I found out I was having a boy.... and at the risk of sounding like a bad mom.... I never wanted a boy.... I have nephews who have completely made me not want one, I literally had a panic attack when I found out..... since then... I have started bonding with the little guy.... he's not here yet, but I made myself go out and find cute things.... and think about the fun things I can do with a boy, like football, and baseball... and how excited his daddy is to have a boy after 2 girls. And slowly I have gotten very excited to have my little man come.

I haven't done the nursery, nor have we settled on a name... but like you, I have been stressed about the small things.... my current worry.... getting the car shampooer cuz my daughter spilled root beer in the seat... and I am stressed to get it cleaned up before my baby rides in it... silly? Yes... but our worries are exaggerated in pregnancy.

Like Superkat mentioned, I also suffered from depression after my 2nd daughter and to this day continue to take meds to control it... if I don't I feel very different. Is it possible you have a touch of depression? From your ticker, your LO is not too old for it to be untreated post partum.... it can be very subtle, and things like pregnancy hormones can make it 100X worse.... I'd speak to your doc...

I hope you can come to a solution.... I'm sure once you hold your baby you will be in love. And will be an awesome mommy of 2.

Hugs!

 

[mummyflanagan]

im the same i havent enjoyed this pregnancy at all and feel guilty because my DD wont get all of my attention but i spoke to my mum in a hormonal rant and she said cause ur not enjoying this pregnancy as much as ur first with your first u have time to concentraite on the baby where as this time im running around after my lo. shes reasurred me that everything will fall into place when bubba gets here. i havent even sorted the bedroom yet! really need to get moving x

hope u feel better soon xx

 

[zoe4eva]

I have also been feeling down with this pregnancy, its weird what hormones can do to you. With my second pregnancy i was on cloud nine and nothing could bring me down. With this one (number 5) i am feeling down and stressed all the time. BUT i also know that i am not like this all the time, and certainly wasnt like this before i was pregnant. Sooooo, ive come to the conclusion that we must chill out. Only do what we feel like doing! When stuff doesnt go right just leave it. Dont stress any more than you have to. My ex is a mission and he makes my life hell and i have now just started to ignore him....why i didnt think of that before i dont know? it seems my short temper during this pregnancy has actually cleared some pent up feelings.
My other half is also fabulous, and when i have simply said to him...i feel sooooo down, he tried really hard to just do things so i dont have to think about the small things.
Try and calm down and relax. If you feel really down and it feels like you cant handle what is going through your head, ask for help. Maybe you need some YOU time? It seems that sometimes pregnancy can overwhelm us all, and we just feel like baby making machines that dont have brains just a bump.
You know how you feel. Trust that and get help if you think you need to.

 

[bassdesire]

Thanks so much ladies!! You are really making me feel a little better. I had a good MW appt today so that helped quite a bit. I am also SO tired from waking up 10 times in the night to pee. My daughter stopped nursing about 10 days ago as well, which makes me very happy and a little sad. I bet that contributes to crazy hormones as well.

Big life changes ahead... just really hoping it all works out for the best.

 

[FeistyMom]

I've had similar rollercoaster this pregnancy, due in part to non-baby related stress from work and family, but still it has impacted my ability to enjoy being pregnant. I did end up reaching out for help from my OB during second tri, and have been on antidepressants since. I wasn't 100% sure I'd made the right choice, but 3 weeks after starting I got comments like 'its so nice to see you smile again' and 'i hadn't heard you laugh in such a long time' that I realized I did need the extra help.

Trust your instincts - and if you find yourself just not feeling like yourself most of the time, it is definitely worthwhile to reach out to your MW or other practitioner or even seeing a counselor to get some perspective on things, and possible ways to cope.