when we found out he was so happy.. now?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by himandi89, Apr 4, 2011.

  1. himandi89

    himandi89 Active Member

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    This is about the baby's father. He was sooooo happy and excited at first because this was planned and all... And NOW? He seems so scared he doesn't even mention the baby anymore... Out first U/S is tuesday the 5th and I'm scared about what if this isn't what he wanted anymore? I need advice, I've asked him if he's scared and he said no today.. But he said nothing after that. IDK how he could be so scared when we planned this???
     
  2. girl19722

    girl19722 Well-Known Member

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    It's easy to be scared lol. We tired for our DS for almost 2 years and when it happened I was terrified, would I be a good mum, could I cope, would it be okay, knowing your whole life will change is very scary. DH was the same but the minute we saw our wee fella on the scan we knew it would be great and seeing the scan made it real for DH.

    I'm sure it's just that and your other half will be fine once it seems real.

    x
     
  3. himandi89

    himandi89 Active Member

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    I hope so.. I guess its just with this being my first and the sudden loss of excited-ness it puts me to question
     
  4. pk4

    pk4 Well-Known Member

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    Hey, my partner went through this phase but near the end when reality was hitting home. I think he is realising just how much responsibility it is to have a child and how much it will change your lives. I don't think he is changing his mind, he is just realising what exactly having a baby entails. There's not much you can do except to let him come to terms with it. They say us women are emotional but men are much worse lol!!! :)
     
  5. LucyintheSky

    LucyintheSky Mom of Two!

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    It's funny how our emotions can work. You want something so bad and then you get scared. Take getting married for example. People get so excited for it and then on the day of the wedding, or a few days before, start freaking out! When getting married was what they had been excited for all along! And other people aren't affected at all.

    He is probably just feeling a huge mix of emotions. I know my partner has been going through a lot of mixed emotions. I think time will bring your partner around, and especially as you get to see the different ultrasounds, as they start looking more and more like a baby, when you find out the sex, when you hear the heartbeat. I think guys tend to get more excited when they have tangible things. We women know the baby is inside us. We can feel the changes in us, but they are just a bystander. Their job for pregnancy was done at conception, you know? My partner has said before that it feels weird because nothing is changing for him right now, it almost feels unreal.
     
  6. rocketb

    rocketb Elise's Mommy

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    My husband has been very quiet about it too. A book I bought for him (The Expectant Father) talks about different concerns that men have. Having read part of it, I think he might be afraid to get too attached to the idea right now in case we miscarry or something else goes wrong.

    Himandi89, I'm sure it's something like that, but hard to deal with anyway. :hugs:
     
  7. himandi89

    himandi89 Active Member

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    This really does help to get some sort of feedback and know I'm not the only one who has a partner who is being quiet about it. We get to see our little peanut for the first time tomorrow I'm hoping I see something positive out of him when we see it. thanks to all who posted :)
     
  8. Kasia

    Kasia Well-Known Member

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    My husband went through the same thing.
    Acually, last year, although it was planned, we've been together 10 years, he didn't speak to me for 4 days then was so ecstatic he told EVERYTHONE!. Unfortunatly I miscarried, he was devestated. Now he seems like he just couldn't care less, but I know that's not it, I think he's just scared and I think that's his coping mechanism, is just to "not care". I'm sure as we get further along, he'll be as excited as I am, and i'm sure your hubby will do the same. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 mos:)
     
  9. JJo777

    JJo777 Well-Known Member

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    My DH didn't react favourably either. He was shocked as we hadn't expected to get pregnant first try. We've been through a lot in 10 years and sometimes I'm still baffled by his reactions/feelings. I was a little disappointed at first but I know he'll make up for it.
     
  10. himandi89

    himandi89 Active Member

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    ='( we were all wrong he asked me to go on a break today.... There's no break in pregnancy :'(
     
  11. Maman

    Maman Guest

    awww im so sorry hun. he might be having a bit of a wobble, they dont seem it but guys can be quite sensitive too. Hope youre ok though xxx
     
  12. pk4

    pk4 Well-Known Member

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    OMG! Ru ok? Im here if you need to talk :)
     
  13. bther

    bther Single mummy to Zachary

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    I'm in a similar position to the OP. I'm going to be a single mum which scares the heck out of me, but excites me too. I just keep thinking that my ex needs to sort himself out before he can even comprehend looking after a baby. It's been hard since the split but I've got an amazing family and some brilliant friends. Everything will be okay and work out in the end. My nan always says that everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that.
     
  14. pk4

    pk4 Well-Known Member

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    Yeh men do need to grow up. They think they can get away from responsibility but we can't cos we're carrying the baby and have no choice! (not that we want to) :)
     
  15. himandi89

    himandi89 Active Member

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    He ended up trying to give this another chance, But my guard is still up because now im afraid at any sign of stress hes gunna leave.... Pray for us.
     
  16. Pixiebear

    Pixiebear Mummy to Scarlett

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    I think its just some men in general. I told my boyfriend i thought i was pregnant and he was really excited. I told him that i was defently pregnant and now its hit im very hard and he really don't know what to do. He don't like talking about it.
     
  17. sara k

    sara k Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:please dont be stressed out...try to explain him gradually...and try to ask him what his future plans...regarding his career...i hope it ill help...
    my husband is too much helpful and caring but sometime he gets upset about financial matters...he has some courses to do in future for his career...i badly need him but sometime i tell him to study and not to talk about home matters for few hours...
    i can understand its your first one and you need him really much but its important to find what he is thinking...i hope both of enjoy this pregnancy:hugs:
     

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