When would you go private?

[jtr2803]

Hubby and I have started discussing the next step in our ttc journey, should we need to take it.

As I have dd from a previous relationship we won't get any NHS help and will need to privately fund our investigation and treatment, fortunately we are in a position where we can

How many months would you wait? I'm having a private pelvic ultrasound next month to check for fibroids, scarring etc. So far we have had three cycles with bding at the right time but I am a very anxious individual with control issues and am finding the disappointment very difficult to deal with.

How long would you leave it?

 

[BostonLover89]

I've been off of BC for 10 months and this is our 8th cycle very actively trying ( with OPKS and temping), and we decided to see outside help because my mother had fertility issues.

I am actually surprised we waited so long, it's been so hard on me emotionally every month that I think my husband just doesn't know what else he can say to make me feel better so he suggested the doctor.

 

[Aayla]

Can I give you some straight up advice? Have more sex. I mean a lot more. I looked over your charts and, unless you aren't recording every session, you are not doing it nearly enough. On my first ovulatory cycle on femara we did it 2 days prior to O and the day of and we didn't catch. The next cycle I was determined. So we did it every day. Only missing 2 out of 14. The ones that really counted were the 3-4 days prior to O, the day of, and the day after (just in case). I got my bfp with that cycle. I miscarried unfortunately but hubby is fully aware that as soon as the first cycle starts up we are going to stick to the same schedule.

So it looks like you O anywhere from cd13-cd18. (with the last 3 being 16-18). Which means you should be doing it from cd10 to cd19. Yes, 9 days in a row. It's going to be rough, hubby may get tired. You may have to get creative to get the job done. But it's worth it to see those 2 lines. If you time it 24 hours apart then you will have swimmers. They'll actually be faster than if you did it every second day. So make sure you start at time you think you can adhere to every day. No evening sex and then morning sex the next day. (morning sex one day and then evening sex the next is okay).

So I would take a few more cycles to do this and see where that gets you. Track, track track everything. If you still haven't got your bfp in 3 more months with having sex every day that you can then I would go the extra step. Don't spend the money when you don't quite have to yet.

 

[krissie328]

I have to disagree with PP. We dtd once on a Friday (hadn't in at least a week before that), got a positive opk on Saturday and ovulated on Sunday. We have a beautiful son from that cycle. I was on Clomid and DH has low motility so the odds were not in our favor. It really only takes once to get pregnant.

I would suggest go with your gut. If you think something is wrong, you are likely correct. I suspected something was off for a long time and my suspicions were correct. You have been ttc a good while and it might take a few months to get into a specialist. I recommend making the call and finding out where to go from there. Where you already have a daughter it might be worth getting DH checked first just to make sure he isn't the one having problems.

 

[Smille24]

We have been trying for a year, ntnp for a year b4 that. I have a dd from a previous relationship and this would be my dh's 1st. My dr suggested he get tested and he said there's no way something was wrong with his swimmers. Turns out he has low count and low motility. We are seeing a specialist next month to get us the help we need. I suggest you start there bc it's easier and a lot cheaper than other tests.

 

[jtr2803]

Thanks for your responses.

Aayla, more sex is probably not possible. My hubby has a very low sex drive and always has, sex twice in a week is a big effort from him which is why we are trying to time it as best we can. He is doing his best and extra pressure unfortunately only makes bding more unlikely and the cycle we only dtd once was the one where he was ill. He may see his doctor to see if the sex drive can be helped which has might improve things.

Hi krissie, I can't decide if it's my impatience or gut that makes me feel somethings not right. My cycle has just seem to settled after my iud removal so we are both happy to try until the new year at least.

I hope everything works out for you Boston lover, I know many people here try for well over a year until being referred but I'm not sure I can hold out that long!

 

[Aayla]

Low sex drive can be an issue and I would look into that. There could be a more serious issue causing it. If he hasn't had his swimmers checked definitely do that. Most docs recommend trying for at least a year before going in. But the least invasive is to make sure his guys are good. If he has low motility and a low drive then ivf is likely a better option.

My frequency is what worked for me. Some women are lucky and have sex once during their fertile time and get pregnant but it didn't work for me. Having sex a lot worked for me. Which is why I plan on sticking to it and recommend it to others.

But you have to do what you feel is right. Ultimately your ttc journey is yours. If I had the money to spare I may have skipped over the trying and gone right to ivf. Canada doesn't offer any assistance of any kind and one round is $16,000 CAN.

 

[hardd2011]

How long ago did you have the IUD removed? I am going though things myself and my cycles are coming but I am bleeding for a while. What I found out today is that it takes on average 6 months to conceive after IUD removal. I wasn't suggested to try to more months and if nothing then come back after the 6th cycle. I know I am ovulating because of pains and we DTD a lot so something else is up.

 

[jtr2803]

We have been trying for a year, ntnp for a year b4 that. I have a dd from a previous relationship and this would be my dh's 1st. My dr suggested he get tested and he said there's no way something was wrong with his swimmers. Turns out he has low count and low motility. We are seeing a specialist next month to get us the help we need. I suggest you start there bc it's easier and a lot cheaper than other tests.

Hey smile, I'm sorry to read of your diagnosis. I'm glad you have a plan in place now and hopefully they can move you in the right direction . Fortunately hubby seems quite open to testing if/when the time comes.

Hi hard, it came out beginning of June. Not sure where I was in my cycle when it was removed so I've kinda discounted that one. My cycles are just starting to even out a little so fxd this is now the norm

 

[hardd2011]

We have been trying for a year, ntnp for a year b4 that. I have a dd from a previous relationship and this would be my dh's 1st. My dr suggested he get tested and he said there's no way something was wrong with his swimmers. Turns out he has low count and low motility. We are seeing a specialist next month to get us the help we need. I suggest you start there bc it's easier and a lot cheaper than other tests.

Hey smile, I'm sorry to read of your diagnosis. I'm glad you have a plan in place now and hopefully they can move you in the right direction . Fortunately hubby seems quite open to testing if/when the time comes.

Hi hard, it came out beginning of June. Not sure where I was in my cycle when it was removed so I've kinda discounted that one. My cycles are just starting to even out a little so fxd this is now the norm

Crazy. Mine had to be removed June 11th. The doctor told me to wait six months and they will check to see if something is wrong.

 

[jtr2803]

I'm booked in for a private pelvic ultrasound in just under two weeks, its only £50 so worth it for peace of mind. They should be able to see follicles then as I'll be cd 15.

Hopefully this will be the last cycle and we won't need anything else!