When WTT do you worry that...

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by Olivette, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. Olivette

    Olivette Well-Known Member

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    .. either you or your OH will not be fertile and you'll never be able to conceive?

    It's a completely irrational fear of mine, but I've always deep down had a fear that when we do start to TTC, nothing will happen.. As I say, I know it's irrational, and chances are things will e fine, but you know!

    Does anyone else feel like that?

    Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be a mummy, it's such a big part of me and what I want for my future, and it's exciting, but it's still such a scary thing, to think that it might NOT happen, you know?
     
  2. butterfly1988

    butterfly1988 Well-Known Member

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    :wohoo:

    I'm sooo glad you said that!!

    I think I'm going to go crazy worrying about not being able to have kids! It's competely irrational and I have no prove that I won't beable tool, but it's at the back of my mind constantly!!

    H2b says I need to chill out :shrug:

    It just makes me want to TTC now just so if we do have problems we can get it sorted!!!
     
  3. Olivette

    Olivette Well-Known Member

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    I am so relieved you replied! I was worried no one would and would think I was mad ;).

    I am the exact same! It honestly feels like I'm going crazy. I think also the longer that my Oh dithers and says 'we have all the time in the world babe', it just makes me feel even worse. We're in a stable situation at the moment, and financially could afford it, so I'd love to just be able to get going and start to at least NTNP.

    Like you said, it's irrational, but i just can't shift the feeling that something is wrong.. Meh! hehe.

    I think if someone said to me 'what in life do you fear', I think I'd honestly say 'I fear not being ale to conceive'. Maybe it's something that everyone goes through at some stage before having their first? Or possibly go through once they've had their first and would love to have a 2nd?x
     
  4. butterfly1988

    butterfly1988 Well-Known Member

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    If you don't mind me asking: why is your OH wanting to wait?

    I've been bugging my h2b for so long :blush:

    I have got the TTC date down from 2 years after the wedding to mid to late next year!! :happydance:

    I think he is broody and he loves to talk to me about when we have our babies and the things we will do. :cry:

    I think he is trying to be sensible and now is not a good time for us to have kids or even ttc. It stil doesn't stop me worrying, I have calm down a bit, I used to be really bad.

    x
     
  5. katy1310

    katy1310 Mummy of 1

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    I had those fears as well, I promise!! I seriously worried in case one of us would have a problem, and we wanted to wait till we were financially stable etc etc so I was constantly worrying in case I'd end up too old as well!

    We now have a 15 month old gorgeous girl.

    I'm sure it's a fear most people who desperately want to have children will have at some point :hugs:

    xxxx
     
  6. Olivette

    Olivette Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the reply! I'm so pleased you now have a 15 month old! :D I think your right, I think it's probably a fear most people who are desperate to be parents have at one point or another!

    It's pretty unclear why he wants to WTT to be honest! He'll quite happily talk to me like yoru OH does about what he wants to do with the LO when their here and things like that.

    He's said he'd like to be more financially stable and to be in a home we own first before we TTC. That's probably 4 - 5 years away, which I've told him is a long long time :(. I've tried to explain to him that once we own our own home our outgoings will increase 10 fold and we'd be less financially stable than we are now, (we live with my dad and he covers the majority of the bills, we just pay a third of the rent each). We'd be buying the house with my dad so it's not that he wants to be independent away from my farther.

    I've also tried to explain that if we TTC now, the LO would be near the age of starting school by the time we manage to afford to buy our house so any child care costs would reduce and we'd be better of than waiting until we have our own home. I do understand his reasoning, but you know..

    That's the main reasons really, being financially stable. I think if we strive to get 'financially stable' we'll be waiting for the rest of my life ;). I've already spoke to him about the fact that if we save until my birthday next year we'd have more than enough to cover my maternity leave, but meh. We're due to go away on holiday in July and he said 'lets get the holiday out the way first', so who knows, maybe theirs hope.
     
  7. bornthiswayxo

    bornthiswayxo Well-Known Member

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    Even though I've been pregnant before with my OH (MCed pretty early though), I feel the exact same some of the time. Idk why, it's just I guess i'm scared of us not being able to repeat it again ever. We briefly TTC/NTNP, that didn't work. (then again, it was only a month of it) But yeah I do completely see where you are coming from sweetie! I'm sure you'll be okay though xo
     
  8. LovingMyLife

    LovingMyLife Well-Known Member

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    I often worry about the same thing! I think what makes it worse, is that as our friends start trying you hear about how hard it is, and they have had MC's. So it makes me worry even more...

    When I start worrying about it, I just think about all our friends that have babies, and hope that I get the same luck.

    I think its funny though, that growing up you assume the first time you have unprotected sex you will get pregnant, but as you get older you realize that that is not normally the case at all!
     
  9. odd_socks

    odd_socks Long Term WTT

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    all the time chick, it really really worries me that one of us will have an issue, i worry that it will be me b/c of my age and b/c of all these tests im having to have to see why my AFs are so bad :( i know i would be completely crushed if i was told i couldnt have kids
     
  10. broodybelle

    broodybelle Well-Known Member

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    I worry about it all the time and have watched a fair few good friends go through miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies and the frustration of trying to conceive, so I have now convinced myself that if/when I do fall pregnant I will lose the baby anyway. It scares me so much.

    I agree that when you're younger you just assume that you miss a pill and wind up pregnant. Now I'm older and wiser I realise it could be a long and frustrating slog to get a much longed for baby. I have aired all my concerns with DH and this is part of the reason that he agreed to try sooner rather than later.

    xx
     
  11. RBurnett

    RBurnett Well-Known Member

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    im also the same, it got really bad when i started to get pains in my stomach, they said it was probably Pelvic inflammotry diease and after reading about how it could stop u from getting pregnant I was so scared, I would sit up all night not being able to sleep and because I couldnt sleep sit and read about it on line, making me worry more.

    Two weeks ago I had a op to find out why I was getting the pain and they found a small bit of endometriosis. The consultant reassured me that all my baby making parts where fine and I have nothing to worry about and cos It was only a small amount it didnt damage anything...

    Im so happyI had that op, its not cured the pain but its cured my worrying. I still worry a tiny bit in the back of my mind about the OH but i have put him on zinc tablets as they are ment to get his lil fellows ready for their travels lol x x
     
  12. chickenchaser

    chickenchaser trying to hatch her egg!!

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  13. MrsMcP

    MrsMcP Well-Known Member

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    I'm just the same! It's the fear of the unknown I think! We'll always find something to worry about at every stage - WTT, TTC, 2WW, BFP and beyond! x
     
  14. BabyMaybe917

    BabyMaybe917 Mommy

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    I have the same fear! AF has always been irregular for me. I stopped BCP back in the last week of February and she still hasn't visited. I go to my OB/GYN in July to start Provera as she thinks it will get my period started and then we'll see if I'm ovulating. I just purchased OPK's today to figure that out. I haven't even started TTC and I'm obsessing over it! I also am going to purchase the softcups, I guess I just want the best possible chance at a BFP!!!
     
  15. pixie23

    pixie23 Well-Known Member

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    This is definately a fear for me and has been since we officially began wtt (by this I mean we had come to a comprimise of when to begin ttc). Beginning in dec 2010 we ttc for 4 months and now he's away for work training. Since we weren't able to conceive in those 4 months my fears have definately grown. Oddly enough though, over the past two weeks this has been less of a fear for me and for the first time I'm starting to have labor fears.
     
  16. Olivette

    Olivette Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for all of the replies girlies, i honestly didn't realize that there was so many of us out there who had similiar worries and fears, it's definitely helped alleviate some of the tension and worry knowing it's quite normal.

    Now you've mentioned it I think I'm definitely going to air my fears about not being able to conceive with him and explain that I'm worried the longer we leave it the less chance we'll have.

    I think that's what I'm worried about as well. My AF has always been irregular, and then non-existent when I was on BC and things. Now I've been off the depo since march, I've only had what you'd class as half a AF, and nothing major really since. I'd love to be able to chart and things, but it just makes it so difficult as I have no idea when, or if, my AF is going to show! I may talk to my GP about ways of possibly regulating my AFs.

    x
     
  17. BabyMaybe917

    BabyMaybe917 Mommy

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    Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are medications that can help start our periods... and there are medications to help us ovulate as well. And even if that fails there are still other options to become a mommy! My aunt and uncle for example have three children of their own and then adopted 2 more! I guess we all just need to remember that there are so many options even if infertility does strike.

    I also want to add that my AF's have never been regular from the time they started. They were also nearly non-existent on BCP as I only had maybe 3 a year. May was the one year no AF mark for me and as I said February was when I stopped BCP and she still hasn't show up. I stressed about it so much that I finally had to call my OB/GYN and she told me what the plan was and scheduled my appointment in July. Such a relief knowing that she wants to be proactive not just make me TTC, fail, then try and do something about it! If you're worried I would definetely call yours as well. Stress doesn't help fertility or our sanity for that matter! Sorry to ramble... :)
     
  18. BabyMaybe917

    BabyMaybe917 Mommy

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    Labor is a fear of mine as well. I'm such a wimp when it comes to pain! Paper cuts nearly kill me hahaha! Anyways, I had planned on whatever the Dr will give me for pain such as an epidural. I have since watched "The Business of Being Born" the focus is more on midwifery but also includes a ton of information about home birthing and natural birthing. To me, it was a really empowering movie and I'm now considering natural childbirth!

    It also helps that I'm a student nurse and working on a research project regaring pain management during labor! There are so many options. But that movie just was amazing!
     
  19. RBurnett

    RBurnett Well-Known Member

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    I also worry that When I am pregnant something will go wrong and then when I have the baby that he will become ill. Watching the Cot death on eastenders has worried me even more!!
     
  20. butterfly1

    butterfly1 New Member

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    hiya, i'm new on here but kinda glad that the first thread i read was one about worries i have myself!! my OH wants to wait another 3.5 years to start trying and i want to start now (sore topic atm) one of my main worries is that in 3 years anything could have happened and we won't be able to conceive. i know it's irrational as many of the other people have said but i don't see why we should take the risk...why not start trying now and remove the risk?!!

    like you, i have always wanted to be a mummy and wish you both all the luck in the world. hopefully your worries will be all for nothing and you won't have any problems. i hope you and your OH start TTC soon good luck :)
     

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