where to put her in the evening

[NatoPMT]

Hi All

My little girl is 3 weeks old and I need some advice on where to put her.

Up to now, she has been falling asleep on me and during the day she spends most of her naps in my arms and some of it in the moses basket next to me in the living room. However, in the evening shes been a bit grumpy and hard to settle.

I think this is because she's a bit windy but also i think she might be a bit over stimulated by being in the living room with the activity, dimmed light and low TV sounds

i didnt want to put her in my bedroom in the evening before i go to bed as the midwife told me she was safer next to me but shes not getting her sleep in the early evenings.

at 3 weeks old, is it ok for her to spend a few hours in our bedroom asleep in the moses basket before i go to bed?

Ta.

 

[tootyfruity]

Personally i wouldn't! it's quite normal for them to get unsettled in the evenings especially if you're breastfeeding as they want to feed alot. totally up to you though x

 

[NatoPMT]

Thanks tooty, why wouldnt you? and what age would you let her stay alone in your room for a few hours in the evening?

 

[NatoPMT]

I'm actually quite relieved, i didnt like the idea of her being alone and if there's any reason at all for her not to be, i dont want to risk it

i would be interested to know what age is acceptable, so i dont have to ask the same question again, but i will ask the health visitor too

 

[Lisa1981]

My son is also quite unsettled in the evening times too, I just presumed that it was normal and didn't put it down to him being disturbed by the noise. I try to take advantage of that time to bathe him and then spend some
Time interacting with him as it gets him tired out for later on when I'm hoping for him to go down for the night.

 

[NatoPMT]

I might be wrong Lisa, i had my mum staying this week and she's made me sit in darkness with no telly or owt on in case it disturbed the baby so she's made me paranoid and worry that the noise and light are keeping her up. She manages to sleep fine during the day with the sunlight and the building site next door so maybe my mum is being unnecessary

i bathe her at 6pm - 7pm and then feed her, and she falls asleep on me, i try and interact during the day again cos im worried about over stimulating her, shes awake for a couple of hours in the morning and afternoon

mebbes i should stop worrying.

 

[Cattia]

I would just do whatever you feel is right and you feel comfortable with. My son was downstairs with us in the evenings until he was about 12 weeks and was very unsettled and would not sleep. From about 10 weeks I started to sit upstairs with him in the evenings and settled him in a dimly lit room as I felt it was too stimulating for him downstairs. I did about a week of this and it took about 2-3 hours each night. He now goes down at 7pm and we put him in his cot upstairs with an Angelcare monitor. I am happy with this as I felt that he had reached the point where he was ready to settle in the evenings and needed a proper bedtime routine. However the official advice is still that baby should have all sleeps in the same room as you until 6 months. My son is 6 months now and has been taking his afternoon nap upstairs in his cot for about the past month.

 

[zeezee]

Hi Nato! I remember you from another forum, I am so excited for you that your LO is here! So my LO was in her own room from the day we brought her home from hospital and we have had no issue. We have a video monitor which is awesome so we can see and hear her whenever we need. We had the unsettled in the evenings issue and our pediatrician told us it was because she needed to go to bed earlier - night sleep is different to day sleep and they need to switch off. As soon as we started putting her down to bed (alone) at 6.30pm, the unsettledness disappeared. BUT, with that said, you need to do what you are comfortable with - if you want her next to you then maybe a solution would be to get a white noise machine (we have a continuous white noise machine and pop it next to her basket, and I know there are apps for ipods) and cover the moses basket in the living room with a muslin.

Z
xx

 

[tootyfruity]

the only reason i advised against it is because when we had our antenatal classes they did go on about not leaving baby on their own also after the birth i got the same advise from about 4 different proffessionals (the midwives on the ward, the midwives on special care, and 2 diff health visitors) about how it's important to keep baby in the same room, I actually think they went a bit far because it made me soooo paranoid and even now i wake in the middle of the night worried that something bad has happened!!

So maybe it's just me and the way i was 'educated', I have read on here that a lot of people have their baby in a diff room from day 1 and they have really benefited from it and had no problems.

I put LO in his own room at about 4-5 months, but everyone does it at different times when they feel comfortable with it.

Maybe try it for an hour and check regularly just to see how you feel about it. I beleive mother instinct normally has the answer!! x

 

[BabyRaff]

I wouldn't put lo on her own yet. We put ours on his own at about 8/10 weeks about half an hour before we went up. Just to get his used to it. Riley used to get really grumpy around the same time and what we did was bounce him in a bouncer chair. As long as they're not in it for more than 2 hours I think it is they can sleep in it. So we used to just bounce him to sleep in that, then at about 15 weeks we started moving him from the bouncer to the sofa ... As for having it dark and quiet i wouldn't do it. =Otherwise you could end up with a child who can't sleep with noise around and waking up all the time. Not fun lol cc

 

[XJessicaX]

3 week old babies ARE grumpy creatures! I had my LO sleeping on me for a couple of months and then slowly I started transferring her to a bedside cot and going to bed at the same time as her, and then around 11/12 weeks I would put her down in her cot asleep and would then leave the room and join her several hours later. I wasnt comfortable with leaving her by herself until then.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

I co-sleep with LO at night and sometimes we nap together during the day. However, if I want to get other things done while LO is sleeping or if she goes to sleep earlier than me in the evening then I put her in the Moses basket in our bedroom. I check on her all the time and I'm never out of earshot of the bedroom. I didn't know we were supposed to be in the same room as them all of the time.

 

[Lilly12]

Fussy evenings are totally normal for a newborn!!
Just let her be with you

 

[TattiesMum]

I might be wrong Lisa, i had my mum staying this week and she's made me sit in darkness with no telly or owt on in case it disturbed the baby so she's made me paranoid and worry that the noise and light are keeping her up. She manages to sleep fine during the day with the sunlight and the building site next door so maybe my mum is being unnecessary

i bathe her at 6pm - 7pm and then feed her, and she falls asleep on me, i try and interact during the day again cos im worried about over stimulating her, shes awake for a couple of hours in the morning and afternoon

mebbes i should stop worrying.

No Hon ... in fact it's useful to get them used to sleeping with background noise, lights etc

If you insist on total darkness and silence for sleeping time then you are creating an artificial environment which might later make it difficult to persuade them to take daytime naps and lead to them waking up whenever they hear even an ordinary household noise

My Granddaughter is the same age as your LO and she sleeps in her big pram (an old fashioned coach built) in the living room during the day and evening ... with the TV on, her brother being a typical toddler, conversations, lights etc. If she's sleepy then she sleeps, if she wants entertaining then she lets us know She is left in the room by herself for short periods when my daughter is doing other bits around the house (impossible not to with a toddler around as well) although never left alone with big brother, but a baby monitor enables Tattie to keep an ear out

I'm not sure that you can overstimulate a 3 week old to be honest

 

[nugget80]

From 4 weeks i started putting lo to bed at 7 by himself but in our room. I don't think he has slept downstairs since then. He is very nosey and won't sleep if there is stuff going on. He used to nap in his swing but he not done that for a few weeks as he now cries whenever i put him in it!

 

[hb1]

congratulations Nato! Hope you're enjoying mummyhood

 

[tlh97990]

My LO sleeps in my arms or in a pack and play in the living room with us during the day. at night she sleeps in her room in her crib and she is 10 days old. i think its easier to have them used to sleeping on their own now rather than trying to break them from that habit later

 

[aliss]

I would let her sleep wherever she can sleep.

I spent 3 months trying to get him 'used to' the everyday noises and he didn't nap from 0-3 months. He naps now more at 17 MONTHS than he did at 0-3 months. It was a nightmare.

If only I had let him sleep in a dark room with loud fan, I might have saved some sanity at that time.