Who is your birth partner?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Eelis, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. Eelis

    Eelis Well-Known Member

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    Do you all have your partners/husbands/boyfriends as your birth partners?

    I was really hoping to have my boyfriend as my birth partner, he seemed like the natural choice. But I always wondered if he would agree to it in the end. He's got a pretty bad phobia of hospitals which is never a good start. But also he does tend to freak out sometimes when life gets too much for him (men pfft!), this pregnancy wasn't something we had planned, it's been a very hard time for him and, as much as I know he cares for me, I couldn't quite see him being my shining rock of encouragement in the labour room lol

    Anyway, he turned round last night and said he wasn't sure he could do it. I was really angry to start off with seeing as there isn't much time left to go changing minds about stuff like this now but now I've calmed down and had a proper think about it. I found out today that I can have 2 people with me in the labour room!

    So I was thinking of asking my mum to come too, then boyfriend has someone he can hide behind if it gets too much for him, my mum gets to be more involved (I swear she would deliver the baby if I let her, it's her first grandchild and she is very excited) and I don't get abandoned with no one to swear at if boyfriend passes out. Seems like the best solution all round I think.

    What did you do/are you planning to do?

    I was reading something earlier that said only about 5% of husbands were at the birth in the 1980s or something like that. I work for a local newspaper group too and we have a lot of stories last year about woman having their babies whilst hubby is in Iraq (hubby comes home and meets child for first time that sort of thing).

    Sorta got me thinking that maybe it is not such a bad thing if partner is not present at the actual event?

    It sounds like a weird thing to say but I can't help but worry that he won't bond with the baby if he doesn't witness the arrival. It's like one minute he says bye bye to his pregnant missus, then few hours later (dear god please let it be just a few) he comes to see me and I have a baby in my arms and it's his :wacko:

    What do you think?
     
  2. MrsE

    MrsE Well-Known Member

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    Aww sounds like you have a plan. I'm sure your mum will be so excited and she'll take proper care of you like mums do.

    I'm just having DH with me, I'm a very independant private person and I'd do it alone if I could but he wouldn't let me.
    I think my mum feels a little left out because she was there for all 3 of my sisters and one of my cousins but my sisters never had partners like my DH.

    Not long to go now are you getting slightly nervous? I am but just because I like to be in control and know what's happening and when in my life but this event is totally out of my control and it's a little scarey.

    Cx
     
  3. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    I think grandma-to-be (my lovely mum) will be waiting outside and my boyfriend will be with me through the birth.

    My mums still in slight shock of me being pregnant, i think, and boyfriend wants to be with me constantly - so it was the obvious choice.
     
  4. Cat

    Cat Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like a good idea to me, differnt things work for differnt people, Iwould be horrified at my mum being there. But also a lot of blokes are very squemish and also can get very distressed at the sight of their partners in pain. So I think its a case of what ever feels right for you and your partner. Perhaos its worth him being their even if he waits outside the room when the time comes, that way he can see how he feels at the time, he may feel differntly when everything happens so its good to keep options open.
    My OHis squemish, Itold him to stick to the head end and stay away from the business end. Ialso had him do a lot of reading and he went with me to anti natal classes, so he felt a lot more reasured as to what was ging to happen so it was less scarey for him. When the time came he still went green and collapsed into a chair quickly moved under him as he passed out but still loved the whole experience and even ended up cutting the cord.

    Perhaos it would help him to read up on what happens etc so he is bit more prepared/understanding. A lot of labour rooms are not like normal hospital wards as they try to make a relaxing atmosphere, they dont even always have a bed in, but D players, and bean bags, and homely decor of he is afraid of hospitals. Perhaps find out of your hospital does a labour ward tour, most do.
     
  5. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    I had my Mum, Dad & Sister with me the first time round (Nan was next door, she would have been there too if it wasn't for the fact she wanted to cry with me LOL)...I felt like selling tickets, it wasn't planned like that, they was all up on a visit when it all kicked off and it happened to fast, I was originally going to have just my Mum & my Sister!

    This time I had Paul and my sister!

    You sound like you have it sorted, no harm with your mum being there, I would have mu Mum everytime if I could! And don't worry about him not bonding, it will happen, he doesn't have to be at the birth for that to happen babe! x
     
  6. Imi

    Imi .

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    Gonna have Gav .... and maybe my friend (Gav not much use when he see's me in pain he kinda goes all .... gooey)

    Need someone there to tell the MW to stop all that namby pamby "oh your doing so well, now theres a good girl" balls gets on my nerves!
    Just wann bear down and do it lol!!

    Sounds like you got a good plan there hun, at the end of the day your the one giving birth so its entirey up to you!!

    xxx
     
  7. ablaze

    ablaze lucky mum of one of each!

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    i had darren n my sis as my partners, my sis was a back up as darren is diabetic and 2 b prepared incase he had a fit, the 2nd time round my sister was working as an auxillery(sp) and had jst come off her break n was moanin bout tht bloody noisy woman... lol tht was me!!! bcos she was on duty she had 2 help clean me up n make my tea and toast lol!!!
     
  8. Caroline

    Caroline Proud Mum of 4

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    I just had DH with me every time. I wouldn't have my mum anywhere near me. My OH was fantastic and absolutlely brilliant this time. He really pushed (pardon the pun) for what i wanted and was in control of everything for me.

    A lot of ppl i know however have had there mum there some with partner as well some just there mum. Tbh its what you feel will let you have the birth you want, and the supporrt you need during labour.
     
  9. shyfly

    shyfly Well-Known Member

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    My dh was the only one with me when I delivered dd and he wasn't very supportive at all. He was too busy telling me how nasty everything was looking down there. This time my dd and dh will be there. My dd is basically my support system. She helped me through my miscarriage and has been like a rock so to reward her I gave her the option of being in the room for the delivery or out in the waiting room with a family friend and she wants to see the baby be born. I don't want my mother any where near the room!! When my dd was born my mother came in and started telling the nurses how to do their jobs and pissed them off!!
     
  10. hypnorm

    hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    I just had Tom my oh with me, i couldn't have done it with out him he was great, to be honest he was the only person i was listening too, i could hear the MW talking to me but it didnt really register, i defo wouldn't want my mum there, she agreed saying no its you and your hubbys moment - i'l wait till you come home.
     
  11. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    On charlie and Ethan i just had there dad with me, altho on Charlie's birth he was in shock and spent most of my labour in the loo being sick lol so i was pretty much on my own with the midwife.

    On Coby i had Jase with me and all being well it will be the same this time

    xx
     
  12. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    I would just have my OH with me :D
     
  13. Spunky Cupkake

    Spunky Cupkake Well-Known Member

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    My birth partner is my boyfriend he was last time and my mum but this time we are hoping for a homebirth so it will be me and him and hopefully we can have a straight forward birth and the both can enjoy the arrival of our daughter as with our son we had complications towards the end and he was rushed of to special care it wasnt a very nice experience but hopwefully this time around it will be better im really getting nervous now

    spunky xx
     
  14. miss maternal

    miss maternal Well-Known Member

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    It brings tears to my eyes thinking about it! i def want my OH with me and my mum or sister. How many birthing partners are you allowed? My sister had my mum and her OH.
     
  15. Imi

    Imi .

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    2 hun ....

    xxx
     

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