who visits first??

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by alice&bump, Oct 29, 2008.

  1. alice&bump

    alice&bump mummy to katie

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    i hadnt really thought about this til i relised katie's most probably gona com when the in-laws are here.

    but how do you decide who's gona visit you first in hospital?? i'd always just been like, well my parents will come as soon as they can and his will see her when they come to stay.

    but now i'm like, well my parents have been here all along and stuff, so should they come first to see her, or should his, cos they've missed out on the whole prgnancy thing.

    or do they let both sets in at first??
     
  2. sammie18

    sammie18 Mommy to Allison

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    I think its who wants to show up at the hospital lol I really have no clue tho :p I no for sure it will be my MIL and FIL there and then whoever eles shows i guess shows lol
     
  3. MrsP

    MrsP Mummy to Eleanor & Henry

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    Personally I do not wants lots of visitors but like you don't wish to push any of the parents out. DH' live in Spain most of the time so feel they have missed out with DH's nephews and want them to feel involved with our baby.

    My parents are divorced, both now with new partners so I have 3 sets of parents to fit in, but figured the chances are they are not all going to be able to get there at the same time so hopefully it will sort its self out.

    Do you know how many visitors your hospital permits at one time? Sorry assuming you're off to the hospital.

    x x x
     
  4. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

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    My mum is going to be there as is my OH obviously. I don't want any other visitors whilst I am in hospital. I will have close fam + friends over when I get home and settled.
     
  5. Emsi76

    Emsi76 3rd Tri - Team Pink!

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    Personally, i would have my mum first (although she will be at the Hospital, so will see her just after her daddy) and then my brother, who will probably also be in the waiting room.
    Then it will be the in laws and DH's brother and sisters!

    xxxx
     
  6. xXDonnaXx

    xXDonnaXx Well-Known Member

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    I'm so dreading the first visit's. I only want my mum, and her dad visit when I'm in hospital. But I know ex's family will jump on the scene as soon as she's here. They haven't bothered as of yet, so I can't be bothered with them to be honest.
     
  7. redberry3

    redberry3 Love My Little Peek <3

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    i am not sure, I think i will take visitors in stride. The last thing I want is to have people automatically taking the baby out of my arms...it is cool to be excited but not TOO excited. So far DH and our Doula will be the only ones in the room...and we have put our best friends on the list for visitors.

    My parents and his parents will come when they can.

    :hugs:
     
  8. alice&bump

    alice&bump mummy to katie

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    they say 2 visitors per bedside, but i dunno if its gona be different right after the birth. like, my little sister, she's 16, will they let her in with my parents??

    i know both sets of parents are gona be sat at home waiting to get the call to say she's here then rush down. i just dont wana upset anyone lol
     
  9. redberry3

    redberry3 Love My Little Peek <3

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    you can't let it stress you out this way. you need to think for yourself and your babes and your new little family. Everyone will come when they see fit.

    :hugs:
     
  10. PeanutBean

    PeanutBean Mumma to Byron & Indigo

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    Well with any luck I won't be in hospital, but my first visits wherever they are will most like be my parents. Luckily for m the in laws are all on the other side of the country! I am sure my DH can vet visits on my behalf.
     
  11. Ria_Rose

    Ria_Rose Mum to JJ & expecting #2

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    I'm leaving my OH to negotiate visiting hours. MW at hospital advised that your OHs should take responsibilty for making sure that mother and baby's needs come before visitors and if I'm tired OH says no-one gets in, lol.

    Think they can only visit from 2pm till 8 as it's a secure unit (to stop those who shouldn't be there getting in, eg- due to restraining orders and keep baby snatchers out) so it depends on when hes born really, if it's a weekend there will be more people able to travel to see us.

    My mum was dissappointed by this - I think she had visions that as soon as I was in labour she would be there sat outside the delivery room waiting for news. But she lives 2 hours away and if she's outside the door I'm going to feel like I have to hurry up and let her in.

    I just really want some time alone with LO and OH, then no more than a few people at a time and not for long periods (but feeling the pressure as they all have to drive a long way to see us).

    Also got to time Dad and step mum's visit to not overlap mum...
     
  12. naomi

    naomi Active Member

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    This is something that is really starting to stress me out if I'm honest.My daughter will also have three sets of grandparents (my folks are both married to new partners).The thing is my mum will completley see her arse if shes not the first one to meet the baby.....I think she'd take her before me and hubbie got a look in if I'm honest!!LOL!We did think of just ringing everyone when we where about to head off home and tell them all to be there in like say an hour or something-that way they all get to meet the baby at the same time...but to be honest I just don't know if I could handle all of them at once!!!The hospital I'll be at only allows two visitors at the bedside at once-obviously one of those will be hubbie...so there would just be a massive que of people waiting to come in the room if they all came to the hospital!!
    Then theres our whole extended family-2 sets of great grandparents,7 brothers/sisters, 2 sets of aunts,uncles and cousins(which we're all close too)!!I'm getting stressed just thinking of them all just piling round my house for hours/days at a time!!When do we spend any quality time with our daughter?!?!?!
    We need help!!Sorry to rant but this a subject close to my heart.
    Any hints/advice would be gratefully recieved!!!
     
  13. LuluBee

    LuluBee Mummy to Alex

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    I'm planning on letting both sets of parents know and then they can race eachother to the hopsital! My parents are very clingy and my Mum keeps insisting she wants to be at the birth - I love my Mum but find it all a bit too much. I want this to be a special time for me and my husband. I'm toying with the idea of not telling them I'm in labour until just before Pip pops out!
     
  14. XKatX

    XKatX Well-Known Member

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    Both of our sets of parents live miles away - so our problem is who comes to stay first!!! I'm sure it will sort itself out in the wash though.
     
  15. WelshGirl

    WelshGirl Mummy at last!!

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    Well we don't really have much of a problem - both of OH's parents have passed away, as has my mum, so we only have to accomodate my Dad & Step-mum. They will be allowed to come to the hospital, then our brothers will visit once we are home.
    At my hospital, they allow 2 visitors in addition to your OH.
     
  16. Chel

    Chel Well-Known Member

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    We're contemplating not telling anyone we've had the baby until we're safe and sound at home, because neither of us really like the idea of people hovering around me and the baby hours after we've gone through the ordeal of labour and birth - but we're open to changing our minds after he's here... maybe we'll be just so eager to show him off we'll want the whole world to see him as soon as possible.

    One thing I do love about the hospital we're at is the maternity ward has a non-negotiable no-exceptions rest time between 1pm and 3pm were NO ONE is allowed, including dads, so this means I'll get a rest in the middle of the day without me having to offend anyone, if we end up having people visiting. And this means I'll get 2 hours totally alone with my baby where I dont have to share him... I think thats pretty sweet.
     
  17. AC81

    AC81 Proud mum of 2

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    This is something that was stressing me out too! The hospital visiting hours are 8am to 8pm and I had visions of my MIL turning up at 8am on the dot and staying all day! When I looked into it more I was a little reassured as only DH can stay 8-8, for everyone else it's 2.30-4 then 6.30-8! As I'm having a section, I don't want my MIL hovering and in general bothering me. We contemplated not telling anyone too, but realised that she'd never speak to my DH again if we did that, and whilst it's tempting, I didn't want to do that. I have heard though that you can tell the hospital staff to not let people in either. They can tell the visitors on your behalf that you're tired etc and to go away. This has put my mind at rest! My parents live in Australia, so there's no chance of them popping over for a quick visit either - so it's only 1 set to contend with.
     
  18. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

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    Well my parents & sister obviously. But other than that I'm not even telling anyone i'm in labour (except BnB of course). I don't want anyone showing up
     
  19. danni2609

    danni2609 Guest

    No one at the hospital ads i hope to be out quick!! But close family and friends after
     
  20. alice&bump

    alice&bump mummy to katie

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    i've got to tell them when i go into labour! if OHs parents arent here, then dad's taking me to hosp cos OH dont drive, if his parents are here, then they're gona be staying with us, so its gona be pretty obvious that i'm in labour haha!
     

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