Why am I TTC again? I think I've lost it.

[bostonblonde]

I've just had two early miscarriages in a row (with no AF in between). So that makes 3 total for me. Surely that means something's wrong and not just bad luck. Yet here I am, a week after my bleeding stopped, already back to obsessive opk testing twice a day. I don't want even to wait until AF.

It's CD20 and no sign of a positive opk yet but I am determined to catch the surge.

I don't even know why I'm trying anymore. I've been pregnant 3 times and each time has resulted in tragedy. I don't even enjoy being pregnant. I'm just a paranoid wreck after I get a and I've never had a reassuring prenatal appointment or scan. Ever. The odds are clearly stacked against me.

Yet I couldn't live with myself if I missed a single opportunity to TTC. Why would I want to keep doing this to myself? Anyone else feeling like this?

 

[catcatcat]

hope you get luck for next time, u should ask your dr for some tests incase its a thing that can be fixed like prostrogen or something.
know what u mean tho. best way to do it is just bd every other day and your guaranteed to always have sperm in there waiting for the egg.
goodluck

 

[Xpecta]

Wow. Thats hard. I've only had one Miscarriage and thats hard enough for me. I'm sorry to hear that. I could understand how that would make you paranoid! I think you keep trying cause you tell yourself, that it won't happen next time...It couldn't. Not again! But hopefully you do get a baby soon! I agree with Cat, maybe go see a doctor and see if there is anything thats wrong?

 

[BlueFairy]

I'm sorry you've had to go through so much!
I think you should go and talk to your GP and insist they take you seriously and do some checks to see if there is anything they can do to help you.
It might be worth giving your body a little time after your mc to rest a little and recover..it's a pretty traumatic time for your body as well as you.
I hope it all works out for you!

xxxxx

 

[Lucia]

I feel that way some days. I think I must be insane TTC after losing 4 little ones, BUT I am determined.

I agree - you should definitely see a doc and have some tests run. They might be able to help you increase your chances.