Why did it make me feel bad ?

[future_numan]

I phoned and old friend today just to chat ( hadn't spoken to her since last May) We chit chated for a small bit ( he seemed kinda snippy ) I thought it was because she sounded like she had a cold, I made the comment that I haven't been sick in ages..she sniped at me that I don't get sick because I never leave the comfort of my home.. I was fed up with the attitude so I was going to end the call. She quickly asked how old the baby was now when I said 11 months, she said well ain't it about time you get off your ass and get a job I was fast to say that I am buiser than she thinks.. I have an active 11 month old, I donate several hours a week to our local Food Bank plus I keep our home and take care of the family..she kinda snorted at me and said well see you later and hung up I can't explain why but it's bothering me
I know I am home most of the time but that is because I try to save money ( I find everytime I leave the door it costs money for gas or whatever ) so I only go into town once a week and that is to the libaray and a free play group. The place I donate my time at is within walking distance.
We are trying to make it on one income so I can stay a SAHM..why is this making e feel so bad

 

[OmarsMum]

I know how you feel, I get this comment all the time. I'm enjoying staying at home to take care of my small family & going back to work is not in my list.

According to some friends I'm wasting all the education & experience I had by staying at home with DS 24/7.

Just ignore her comment hun, you'r doing what's best for your family.

Big hugs, you'r doing great

 

[future_numan]

I walked away from a job that I worked for 14 years to climb that corp. ladder and never had a second thought about it..
This was the first time I had someone say that being a SAHM is being lazy..

 

[m_t_rose]

She is probably just a little jealous of you that you get to be a SAHM. Try not to let it bother you

 

[OmarsMum]

It's not, it's hard work. I was a facility manager in one of the largest property companies in Dubai, & I was in control most of the time. I was doing great in my job. I was 29 when I quit & the country was booming at that time. I wanted to start a family with no stress. I had Omar when I was 31. He's my 1st & most of the time I dont know what I'm doing. It's hard work & requires full attention 24/7.

My dad didnt support my decision at 1st as according to him it was too early for me to be a SAHM.

I'm planning to TTC when Omar is 2 yrs. I dont think I will ever go back to work, but I dont regret my decision. Raising a family is a full time job hun (I think you know better than me as you already have 4 )

I'm already 32 & I gave my career & education enough time, & now my time is dedicated for my family.

You should be proud of your decision, you'r doing great, big hugs

 

[Nic1107]

That was a totally rude, bitchy thing for her to say! You've no need to explain yourself to her, I'm sorry but she's no kind of friend if she'll speak that way to you.

 

[PregnantKez]

How crap of her to say that to you! I think your doing the best for your family, stuff what everyone else thinks Don't feel bad

I think whatever your choices in raising your kids you can be critised, I went back to work when Kyle was 8 months old and a lot of people would criticise me for that, and I do feel guilty sometimes. Can't win either way!

As long as its good for you, be happy

 

[Mummy2aStar]

She is probably just a little jealous of you that you get to be a SAHM. Try not to let it bother you

I agree! X

 

[future_numan]

It's true you feel guilty no matter what you do. I didn't have a chance to be home with my older gilrs as I was young and finishing school / college and kick starting my career. I always felt bad leaving them with caretakers and was delighted at the chance to stay home with Emily.
I don't know why it hurt me so much.

 

[hivechild]

Wow, talk about a hair across her ass. It sounds like a friend you're best dusting your hands of and being done with.

I can honestly say that I've never had a job my entire life that was even a 10th as challenging and as much work as raising my son and keeping house. It's really not surprising that a lot of women choose to go back to 'work!'

 

[Duffy]

Being a stay at home mom is a full time job that NON PAYING so she needs to not judge you, what a jerk.

YOU RUN A HOUSE your responsible for a baby what does she think you do sit infront of the tv all day? My boyfriend cannot believe how hard it is being home on his day off when he takes over my dutys to give me a break... its hard work. I wouldn't reach a hand out in friendship to her because friends don't treat you like that you deserve better....

 

[Blah11]

Being a mother is hard work. Not so much just being a SAHM because people who work have to work their job, pick little one up from childcare then do everything a SAHM does during the day when they get home for little more than the state would provide once nursery fees come out.
Personally I'd love to be a SAHM, I think it's a total blessing and a bit of a luxury but we own our house and need 2 wages to keep living comfortably.

So yeh, i think your friend is jealous too.

p.s. being a SAHM maybe doesnt pay money but you do get rewarded in other ways and like I said before, what do you think working mums do when they get home?! They do mummy role, chef role and maid role lol NONPAID

 

[Jchihuahua]

Being a mother is hard work. Not so much just being a SAHM because people who work have to work their job, pick little one up from childcare then do everything a SAHM does during the day when they get home for little more than the state would provide once nursery fees come out.
Personally I'd love to be a SAHM, I think it's a total blessing and a bit of a luxury but we own our house and need 2 wages to keep living comfortably.

So yeh, i think your friend is jealous too.

p.s. being a SAHM maybe doesnt pay money but you do get rewarded in other ways and like I said before, what do you think working mums do when they get home?! They do mummy role, chef role and maid role lol NONPAID

What Blah said . I'm the main earner so have to work to pay our mortgage but i'd love so much to be a SAHM.

 

[future_numan]

Blah11, I agree with you. I think working moms deserve a HUGE pat on the back !!
Personally, I don't know if I would have the energy anymore to do what I did with my older children ( I worked full-time plus studied for my degree plus kept a house with three children )
I remember days dropping in to bed fully clothed because even my hair was tired. So big to you.
I am in no way complaining about being a SAHM and I know how very lucky that we can afford for me to be ( we also own our home but the mortgage is low and we carry little debt).
I was just kinda hurt that someone would think of me a lazy when I am not..

 

[Blah11]

i wouldn't worry too much about it hun. Sounds like she has a huge chip on her shoulder about it and tbh its none of her business what your financial situation is like!

 

[dacosta]

i'm betting she doesnt have kids of her own?

people who dont have kids dont understand.

before my lo came along i never would have considered giving up work. it was all career comes first. but now i'm giving up in August just before my second is due.

dont worry about what she thinks. you're doing the right thing for you and your family and thats all that matters really.

 

[moomoo]

Tbh I go to work for a rest!! (and a HOT cup of tea!) being a SAHM is 24/7, no breaks, always on call. I think your friend sounds a bit bitter!?

There is plenty of time to earn money when your kids are at school. You can always make money but never get that time back with your LO!! That's why I only work the minimum (sp) I need to to survive!

 

[aimee-lou]

What Blah said . I'm the main earner so have to work to pay our mortgage but i'd love so much to be a SAHM.

I feel the same way. I've just dropped down to 4 days per week in order to spend more time at home and quite frankly it sucks!!

Just ignore her hun...she doens't know what she's talking about and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone!

 

[Seraphim]

I'm guessing it made you feel bad because she was being rude and ignorant

Some people are just bleh.

 

[jackiea85]

I wouldn't worry about what she thinks, you can't please everyone and no matter what you do someone somewhere will judge you unfortunately. I love being a SAHM and feel really lucky that I can be but I bet some people probably think I am being lazy because I'm not working at the moment x