Why did it make me feel bad ?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by future_numan, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. future_numan

    future_numan Mommy to 4 girls & 1 boy

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,294
    Likes Received:
    0
    I phoned and old friend today just to chat ( hadn't spoken to her since last May) We chit chated for a small bit ( he seemed kinda snippy ) I thought it was because she sounded like she had a cold, I made the comment that I haven't been sick in ages..she sniped at me that I don't get sick because I never leave the comfort of my home.. I was fed up with the attitude so I was going to end the call. She quickly asked how old the baby was now:shrug: when I said 11 months, she said well ain't it about time you get off your ass and get a job:saywhat: I was fast to say that I am buiser than she thinks.. I have an active 11 month old, I donate several hours a week to our local Food Bank plus I keep our home and take care of the family..she kinda snorted at me and said well see you later and hung up:grr: I can't explain why but it's bothering me:sad2:
    I know I am home most of the time but that is because I try to save money ( I find everytime I leave the door it costs money for gas or whatever ) so I only go into town once a week and that is to the libaray and a free play group. The place I donate my time at is within walking distance.
    We are trying to make it on one income so I can stay a SAHM..why is this making e feel so bad:hissy:
     
  2. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2010
    Messages:
    17,040
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs::hugs:

    I know how you feel, I get this comment all the time. I'm enjoying staying at home to take care of my small family & going back to work is not in my list.

    According to some friends I'm wasting all the education & experience I had by staying at home with DS 24/7.

    Just ignore her comment hun, you'r doing what's best for your family.

    Big hugs, you'r doing great :hugs::hugs:
     
  3. future_numan

    future_numan Mommy to 4 girls & 1 boy

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,294
    Likes Received:
    0
    I walked away from a job that I worked for 14 years to climb that corp. ladder and never had a second thought about it..
    This was the first time I had someone say that being a SAHM is being lazy..
     
  4. m_t_rose

    m_t_rose Mommy of Jacob and Julia

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,170
    Likes Received:
    0
    She is probably just a little jealous of you that you get to be a SAHM. Try not to let it bother you :hugs:
     
  5. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2010
    Messages:
    17,040
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's not, it's hard work. I was a facility manager in one of the largest property companies in Dubai, & I was in control most of the time. I was doing great in my job. I was 29 when I quit & the country was booming at that time. I wanted to start a family with no stress. I had Omar when I was 31. He's my 1st & most of the time I dont know what I'm doing. It's hard work & requires full attention 24/7.

    My dad didnt support my decision at 1st as according to him it was too early for me to be a SAHM.

    I'm planning to TTC when Omar is 2 yrs. I dont think I will ever go back to work, but I dont regret my decision. Raising a family is a full time job hun (I think you know better than me as you already have 4 :D )

    I'm already 32 & I gave my career & education enough time, & now my time is dedicated for my family.

    You should be proud of your decision, you'r doing great, big hugs :hugs::hugs:
     
  6. Nic1107

    Nic1107 Mommy to a toddler

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2009
    Messages:
    4,280
    Likes Received:
    0
    That was a totally rude, bitchy thing for her to say! You've no need to explain yourself to her, I'm sorry but she's no kind of friend if she'll speak that way to you.
     
  7. PregnantKez

    PregnantKez Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2009
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    0
    How crap of her to say that to you! I think your doing the best for your family, stuff what everyone else thinks :) Don't feel bad

    I think whatever your choices in raising your kids you can be critised, I went back to work when Kyle was 8 months old and a lot of people would criticise me for that, and I do feel guilty sometimes. Can't win either way!

    As long as its good for you, be happy :)
     
  8. Mummy2aStar

    Mummy2aStar Eva & Layla's mummy xx

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2010
    Messages:
    676
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree! X
     
  9. future_numan

    future_numan Mommy to 4 girls & 1 boy

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,294
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's true you feel guilty no matter what you do. I didn't have a chance to be home with my older gilrs as I was young and finishing school / college and kick starting my career. I always felt bad leaving them with caretakers and was delighted at the chance to stay home with Emily.
    I don't know why it hurt me so much.
     
  10. hivechild

    hivechild Mummy to Ronan

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2009
    Messages:
    5,727
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wow, talk about a hair across her ass. It sounds like a friend you're best dusting your hands of and being done with.

    I can honestly say that I've never had a job my entire life that was even a 10th as challenging and as much work as raising my son and keeping house. It's really not surprising that a lot of women choose to go back to 'work!'
     
  11. Duffy

    Duffy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Being a stay at home mom is a full time job that NON PAYING so she needs to not judge you, what a jerk.

    YOU RUN A HOUSE your responsible for a baby what does she think you do sit infront of the tv all day? My boyfriend cannot believe how hard it is being home on his day off when he takes over my dutys to give me a break... its hard work. I wouldn't reach a hand out in friendship to her because friends don't treat you like that you deserve better....
     
  12. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    38,886
    Likes Received:
    0
    Being a mother is hard work. Not so much just being a SAHM because people who work have to work their job, pick little one up from childcare then do everything a SAHM does during the day when they get home for little more than the state would provide once nursery fees come out.
    Personally I'd love to be a SAHM, I think it's a total blessing and a bit of a luxury but we own our house and need 2 wages to keep living comfortably.

    So yeh, i think your friend is jealous too.

    p.s. being a SAHM maybe doesnt pay money but you do get rewarded in other ways and like I said before, what do you think working mums do when they get home?! They do mummy role, chef role and maid role lol NONPAID
     
  13. Jchihuahua

    Jchihuahua Mummy to 3

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2009
    Messages:
    8,187
    Likes Received:
    0
    What Blah said :). I'm the main earner so have to work to pay our mortgage but i'd love so much to be a SAHM.
     
  14. future_numan

    future_numan Mommy to 4 girls & 1 boy

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,294
    Likes Received:
    0
    Blah11, I agree with you. I think working moms deserve a HUGE pat on the back !!
    Personally, I don't know if I would have the energy anymore to do what I did with my older children ( I worked full-time plus studied for my degree plus kept a house with three children )
    I remember days dropping in to bed fully clothed because even my hair was tired. So big :hugs: to you.
    I am in no way complaining about being a SAHM and I know how very lucky that we can afford for me to be ( we also own our home but the mortgage is low and we carry little debt).
    I was just kinda hurt that someone would think of me a lazy when I am not..
     
  15. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    38,886
    Likes Received:
    0
    i wouldn't worry too much about it hun. Sounds like she has a huge chip on her shoulder about it and tbh its none of her business what your financial situation is like!
     
  16. dacosta

    dacosta Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2009
    Messages:
    839
    Likes Received:
    0
    i'm betting she doesnt have kids of her own?

    people who dont have kids dont understand.

    before my lo came along i never would have considered giving up work. it was all career comes first. but now i'm giving up in August just before my second is due.

    dont worry about what she thinks. you're doing the right thing for you and your family and thats all that matters really.
     
  17. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2008
    Messages:
    6,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Tbh I go to work for a rest!! (and a HOT cup of tea!) being a SAHM is 24/7, no breaks, always on call. I think your friend sounds a bit bitter!?

    There is plenty of time to earn money when your kids are at school. You can always make money but never get that time back with your LO!! That's why I only work the minimum (sp) I need to to survive!

    :hugs:
     
  18. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2008
    Messages:
    12,411
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel the same way. I've just dropped down to 4 days per week in order to spend more time at home and quite frankly it sucks!! :cry:

    Just ignore her hun...she doens't know what she's talking about and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone! :hugs:
     
  19. Seraphim

    Seraphim Amazing Baby Girl

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    7,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs:

    I'm guessing it made you feel bad because she was being rude and ignorant :nope:

    Some people are just bleh.

    :hugs:
     
  20. jackiea85

    jackiea85 Mum of 2 boys

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    2,320
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wouldn't worry about what she thinks, you can't please everyone and no matter what you do someone somewhere will judge you unfortunately. I love being a SAHM and feel really lucky that I can be but I bet some people probably think I am being lazy because I'm not working at the moment x
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice