Why do I care what people think about my parenting?

Discussion in 'Natural Parenting' started by Maid Marian, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. Maid Marian

    Maid Marian Guest

    I'm ridiculously sensitive, always have been, and if someone makes a disapproving comment about the way I do something, it really hurts me! And I wish it didn't! I just care so much what people think of me :shy:
    Everything I do, especially parenting-choices, I research to death, and am completely confident in, but eventhough I know that for me what I'm doing is the right thing, it still somehow bothers me when people make it clear that they think I'm completely wrong.
    I'm not a very outgoing person, but I've always stood up for myself when needed, and I spose I'd seem from the outside to be very thick-skinned, but I'm not :nope:
    Is anyone else struggling with this? And any advice how to stop being such a wimp!?
     
  2. purapura

    purapura Well-Known Member

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    I don't have an advice. But I can offer you a thought...
    If you raised your child the way you believe is right, and then he/she behave differently to want you expected him/her to, you can only think that you did your best, but it didn't work. But when you follow someone elses advice, you will be upset with yourself for not doing it your way, and probely upset with the person that gave u the edvice. You"ll feel that you failed...
     
  3. Chasesmommy

    Chasesmommy Well-Known Member

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    I have the same problem. I think its pregnancy hormones. I have done a TON of research on BF'ing and CD'ing and everyone I know thinks I'm NUTS (except OH woohoo!)

    It really bothers me that people don't agree with what I've chosen for my child. I wish I could just brush it off but sometimes the "are you crazy?" makes me ANGRY.
     
  4. mandarhino

    mandarhino Mum of 1

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    I think you'll always have this as a parent no matter how old your children are. You need to do what you feel comfortable doing. This will probably be very different to what people around you do but as long as you are comfortable with your choices then you can feel confident.

    I've run into many people who've made parenting decisions I wouldn't be comfortable with. I don't call them out on it because that would be rude. However I think other people often project their guilt (if that's not too harsh) about certain decisions they may have made onto other people who've done things differently from them. Or they may simply lack self awareness about what reaction their comments might have on other people.

    I've done this a little bit where i've been put out but for the most part I'm pretty comfortable. I just sometimes think up evil retorts in my head.
     
  5. fluffpuffin

    fluffpuffin Well-Known Member

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    When Isla was younger the criticism really bothered me too, but as she has got older I've gotten more confident as well and stand up for my choices. I think often other mums think it's ok to attack other new mums on their parenting because they're so new to it. One of my friends said that with her 2nd child she had no-one bothering her anymore.
     
  6. NaturalMomma

    NaturalMomma Well-Known Member

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    I think it's normal to care. As mothers we want to be raising our children the "right" way, and if someone thinks we're doing it wrong we can feel bad or start to question our parenting. Just remember that you are a great mother and you're raising your child wonderfully.
     
  7. Thumper

    Thumper Well-Known Member

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    It use to bother me too. In the last month or so I've got a lot more confident with my parenting. Maybe becasue he's turning out so well :smug: ;)
    It's gone both ways with me though, I've even felt the pressure of AP Mum's who have made me feel bad when co-sleeping wasn't working for us. IT's daft!
     
  8. Eala

    Eala Mum of two gorgeous girls

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    It doesn't matter what parenting route you choose, someone somewhere will criticise you for it.

    The only advice I have is to look at your obviously thriving child, and take heart that you're doing what is right for her, and for you. It does get easier as they get older too.
     
  9. patch2006uk

    patch2006uk Well-Known Member

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    This! I think once LO gets a bit older, and they're obviously happy, the criticism tends to stop. We've breastfed, BLWd, used cloth, carried LO everywhere and had the cot in a sidecar arrangement for 6 months in a very traditional family. There were some raised eyebrows and snorts before LO was born and when he was younger, but they've all gone quiet now :)
     
  10. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    Just be confident in your decisions! Like you said, you researched your choices! You are the expert of your own children. I don't share alot of things, and sure i have had criticism...some hurts, but I know that those people are usually misinformed or just hold different opinions. One example, when my son was a newborn, one coworker of mine told me I needed to put a stop to cosleeping immediately because it was going to 'sexualize' my baby! I was horrifically offended, but at the same time..it's pretty funny how far off she was!!! Try to be confident and if someone offers advice, just say, 'no thanks...we are happy and things are working for us".
     
  11. deafgal

    deafgal Guest

    So weird for someone to think like that. That sort of thing never cross my mind. geez.
     

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