Why do people always ask??

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by Thistledown, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. Thistledown

    Thistledown Well-Known Member

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    When meeting people for the first time, why do they always ask "so, do you have any kids?" :dohh:

    OH and I dropped off a lamb to be processed at a small local butcher today. As always seems to happen in rural encounters, we got to chatting about the farm, etc. At one point the butcher asked "so, is it just the two of you out there, or do you have kids?" I'm pretty good at maintaining outward composure, especially in public. But wow, that sure set my mind whirling for a bit. :neutral:

    Why do people even ask that when casually talking? It can be such a loaded question. I don't think I've ever asked someone that...

    Or even better, when people you've just met or barely know ask "so when are you having children?" Umm... why are you asking such a personal question??
     
  2. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    I suppose it's become a normal part of 'making conversation' really.

    We are getting it asked by the family a lot now though which of course is different but even harder! We have been married a year and so people think it must be time to have a baby! They don't know we are ttc, and have been for 14 months (just lost a baby recently), so guess the questions will have to go on for a bit longer, and we will keep laughing it off and changing the subject quickly!!
     
  3. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    Hun just noticed your sig after I posted. I am so sorry for your loss.

    xx
     
  4. aob1013

    aob1013 Guest

    I think it's just a conversation starter, i don't think people mean to offend.
     
  5. overthemoon

    overthemoon Well-Known Member

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    I suppose they are trying to make small talk, or they don't really know what else to say. I'm sure they don't mean to offend and they just don't consider the situations people might be going through. Although I do think asking when you are going to have kids is a bit personal.
     
  6. OmiOmen

    OmiOmen Mum of two

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    When pregnant the question "Is this your first pregnancy?" is a pain too. I had 2 MMC's before my son and never really knew how to answer. :huh:
     
  7. Sherileigh

    Sherileigh Well-Known Member

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    People used to ask me when I was first pregnant if this pregnancy was intentional? As we weren't married (yet). I thought that was a bit rude! I was 32, in a stable committed relationship, common-law, we owned our own home, good jobs etc....duhh, no it was an accident, but thanks! lol.
    I really don't think people mean to offend though, it really is just small talk. I've asked before, and many people have asked me before and after DS. Never thought twice about it. I'm sorry for what you've been through, must be a very hard question for you...:hugs:
     
  8. Thistledown

    Thistledown Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I'm sure it isn't meant to be rude at all, but it just seems like the sort of thing that should be private, you know? I sort of think of it like, say, credit card debt or medical problems - I don't expect strangers to casually inquire about those! It just kind of baffles me that it's asked so often and without any other background info. I mean, you never know if the person you're asking has lost children, or can't get pregnant, or if there's a lot of tension because one partner's ready for kids and one isn't.
     
  9. aob1013

    aob1013 Guest

    I agree, when you are TTC it is the last thing you want to hear. But try to remember that while TTC you are often more sensitive to the 'kids' talk, kwim? x
     
  10. Miss Broody

    Miss Broody Well-Known Member

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    The when are you gonna have kids question hurts when u wanna turn round and scream if I could right now I would!!! Grr. X
     
  11. odd_socks

    odd_socks Long Term WTT

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    i dont think ive ever asked anyone that question before thinking about it :haha: around my area i think people ask it cus 99% of people my age are actually parents, just reminds me that im not :(
     
  12. fumbles

    fumbles Pregnant and terrified!

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    I've been asked this a few times, but what I find funny is my response! I seem to very outrageously respond with 'Oh no I don't have any kids pah! chuckle' as if it's the most ridiculous question to ask, as if they just asked if I've been to the moon lately!

    I dunno why I do that, Think I'm not right in the head. I think I like to pretend I'm still 17 or something and I have loads of time left for TTC and also I hate the fact I must look old enough to have kids lol...I'm such an tool
     
  13. Augie

    Augie Well-Known Member

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    I KNOW!! I especially hate it when we're hanging out with our friends who have kids and they tease me saying "hey, you shouldn't drink that! You're probably knocked up!". I just want to burst into tears saying "NO IM NOT! SHUT UP! You have no idea how much I wish I was!" :sad1:
     

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