why do they check the baby's growth?

[hopedance]

i was looking at the list of antenatal appointments in my maternity notes, and it seems at every appointment they check the baby's growth. why do they do this? and if they find that the baby is growing too slow or too fast, is there anything they can do? or do they just monitor it and hope for the best?

 

[MishC]

They check it to make sure it's growing properly.

I have no idea what they do if it's growing to fast but if it slows down they'll send you off for a scan to find out what's causing it to slow down.

 

[ZoeBunny]

From 24 weeks you have your fundal height recorded every appt to check baby's growth. That's when they measure the size of your tummy and have a good feel of the baby. You usually get a chart stuck in your green note book to keep a track on it.

If a baby grows to big too fast it could indicate a problem such as gestational diabetes in the mother, again if too slow could be an issue with the placenta. Most babies grow slightly ahead or behind on dates, but tend to even themselves back out nearer to delivery.

 

[hopedance]

thank for your replies. i am really wondering if i can get by without this. i really hate being touched and get very anxious, do you think it matters if i don't have this done at all?

 

[ZoeBunny]

It's very important for you and baby to be checked... best to tell the midwife you are seeing that you are uncomfortable with it so she can be as quick as possible (and as understanding)

 

[GersPrincess]

Do you get anxious if everybody touches you? or would you be ok, if you saw the same mw and built up a relationship with her?
I think it is important that the baby's growth is checked, and it also gives the mws an indication of which way your baby is lying. They will need to know if baby is breech for example before you go into labour.
Because I'm sooo obese (size 20 at most!!) I'm getting sent for growth scans at 30, 34 and 38 weeks as the mws wont be able to feel the baby so well apparently.... maybe you could ask if they could offer you these instead if you really cant face being touched. (but it really doesn't hurt)

 

[hopedance]

i get terribly anxious if anyone touches me. it's taken years to get to a point where i can let my husband touch me. it sounds nutty, but i even tried to take out my own contraceptive implant last year because i found it so traumatic having it put in because she touched my arm. i actually managed to cut through to it and get hold of it with tweezers but the damn thing was stuck, lol, so i couldn't pull it out so ended up having to let a doctor do it. that took some explaining..

scans also scare me a lot, i canceled my 12 week scan because i just couldn't face it, my GP wasn't happy about that because i've had some bleeding on and off from about week 10. my GP is away now for easter but i am so scared she is going to chase me about that scan when she comes back. i bought a doppler though and i have heard the heartbeat so i assume it must be okay?

i wish they would let me do it myself, hold the ultrasound thing and move it about myself to have a look, so that i'd feel in control, but i bet they'd never let me?

it sounds terrible, but i have been avoiding my midwife too, i have borrowed my mum's blood pressure monitor and i was going to buy some of those dipsticks they use to check your urine, and do it myself so that i don't have to have antenatal checkups, i have my doppler so that i can check the heart beat, the only thing on the list of stuff that they do, which i can't do myself, is the growth checks. but maybe i could learn how to do that too? God i am terrible. i've thought about having an abortion because of all this stuff, sometimes i still seriously consider it, but i do really want this baby, i'm just so scared of anyone touching me, it seems less frightening to take a few pills and have the baby and it be gone and not have to deal with this stuff anymore.

 

[Tasha]

Oh hun this must be so hard for you, but it is so important to have the scans and appointments, a midwife is trained in what to look out for and your not, and scans look for anomalies and any problems with the placenta, growth etc. I think it sounds like you need to be completely honest with both your gp and mw and tell them just how hard and scary it is for you, perhaps double appointments with the mw so if you need to stop you can.

ETA; On ultrasound scans they take measurements of different areas so it isnt as simple as holding it yourself hun, sorry. And an abortion at 14 weeks involves more than just pills hun, like I said it sounds like you need a really honest talk with your health care providers

 

[hopedance]

I researched having an abortion quite thoroughly, and found a local private provider who would let me have an entirely medical abortion up to 19 weeks (two pills 3 days apart) - although with a 10% failure rate that then needs a surgical abortion to complete the process. that's the scary part!

My GP and midwife already know, i've been having CBT for, i think nearly 2 years now, because of post trauma stuff, and still see a psychologist. plus when i was 4 weeks, they thought the pregnancy was ectopic, i was terrified and agreed to a scan, which was so traumatic and it was inconclusive. they wanted to scan me again the week following but i was having none of it, which you can imagine brought up a few issues. i waited until i was 8 weeks before consenting to another scan, so i could be scanned externally, of course everyone (except me) was stressing out in the weeks in between in case my fallopian tubes exploded or something.

i suppose i'm just trying to work out what the greater risk is - developing a complication with the baby/pregnancy, or having the tests/appointments/examinations and having a psychological melt down. that's why i want to do the things i can do myself, at home, and then try to figure out what to do about the rest.

 

[lissagayle]

Maybe you got pregnant to help you to start get over your fear. I know some of the things that you feel. But you really have to think about your health and the baby. Maybe you should ask if you could take some anti-anxiety medication before you show up at the doctors so that why you will be relaxed when you go in. The usual checkups do not take that long, when they touch you. Most of the time when they exam me i just lay back and close my eyes, and its over before i know it. I hope that everything works out for you..just remember to work on this,, one day you are gonna have to be touched, whether with a preganancy or not!! Good luck

 

[marley2580]

Ok, first of all scans are not needed. Many women choose not to have them at all and there are millions of women all over the world for whom it's not even an option. There should be ways that you can minimise touching during your MW appointments - the BP machine does not need them to touch you, they just slip the band over your arm (which your hubby could do with their guidance) and they press the button. The measurements are not compulsory, but I would suggest having them - maybe the MW can get your hubby to hold the tape in the correct place for her. They do like to palpitate your stomach as you get further along in order to tell which way up the baby is, this I would also advise you to get as an undiagnosed breech or transverse can be dangerous. Again though, they should be able to keep this to a minimum (maybe 2 or 3 times in total).

Are you in a position to hire an independent MW? This might be a good option for you as you would be seen by the same person throughout your pregnancy and labour, meaning you can build a relationship with them, and because you are paying them they will be more open to adapting things to suit (though there will still need to be some touching).

Have you looked into how and where you want to give birth? I ask because if you're in hospital it is highly unlikely that the MWs there will be as hands off as you need. It may be worth looking into having a homebirth.

 

[Waiting4Baby]

I'm not saying this to be mean or rude... but you need to see a therapist about this. That sounds like a phobia, not just "I don't like it". You need to let people touch you in order to get the best care for you and your baby. That's just a fact. Is it any better if you have someone you trust with you at your side, like your hubby?

 

[hopedance]

waiting4baby - i'm not saying this to be rude, but maybe if you'd read my posts you'd notice i am seeing a therapist already, i do not have a phobia, i have post traumatic stress issues.

marley - thank you those are some good ideas. i really wish i could afford a private mw, i think that would make things a lot easier but i think it will be too expensive. i will google though and try to find out how much it will cost.

i am hoping to have a homebirth, i think i'd like to hire a pool and just have my hubby there and a good friend, and tell the midwife she can sit in the other room with a cup of tea unless there is an emergency. one of my friends has suggested an elective c-section, so that i can be totally in control with no unexpected surprises like there can be in a natural birth, but a c-section does sound terrifying.

i wonder if the mw could just teach my dh to take the measurements? then he could do it and just tell her the measurement. i am thinking about asking if i can have telephone appointments instead of in person, so that i know she can't touch me, and she could just instruct me or dh what to do to get the info that she needs. we have a blood pressure monitor and a doppler at home that we can use, and i'm sure we could get anything else we'd need pretty cheaply. do you think they'd let me do that?


ETA -

first of all scans are not needed. Many women choose not to have them at all and there are millions of women all over the world for whom it's not even an option.

it is such a relief to hear that. i keep saying it to myself but it's good to hear it from someone else too, so i know i'm not just convincing myself of things to soothe the anxiety.

 

[Waiting4Baby]

waiting4baby - i'm not saying this to be rude, but maybe if you'd read my posts you'd notice i am seeing a therapist already, i do not have a phobia, i have post traumatic stress issues.

Oh. My mistake. Clearly I was wrong to say that. I'm sorry.

 

[Lorien]

I had a rather crappy case of PTSD after a severe car accident a few years ago. I went to a lot of therapy and was eventually refered to a psychologist who specialized in 'EMDR' which is a trauma-specific treatment. I found it INCREDIBLY helpful, and it may be what you need to get past your trauma enough to get the care you and your baby deserve.

Here is some general info:

https://www.emdr.com/

 

[lissagayle]

i wish you all the luck with this and hope that you make the right desicions,, which you can only know what those are. I think that you should have someone to check you though instead of having phone conversations. You keep asking "do you think they will let me do that".. this is your body and your baby. As long as you are sure that this is the way that you want to do it,,which i would not suggest just because all the things that could go wrong in situation like this. No one can force you to do what you dont want to do.

Speaking from experience here you really need to put your physical health and baby's health before your PTS. I am suffering from PTS also, I dont want to leave the house, and have severe panic attacks when i do. But I do anyway,because i really want the best for my baby and myself. You really have to just do what you have to do. I would suggest sitting down and writing the pros and cons of this. Like i said before dont think of this has something that you CANT do,, because you can. It will take time. And who knows this will prob help you a lot with overcoming your PTS. Think of it as once a month therapy sessions that only last 30 mins or less sometimes. I will keep your and child in my thoughts and i really hope that everything goes well for you.

 

[Tasha]

Hey hun there is no way a midwife would sit in another room whilst you gave birth, it would go against all protocol and put her registration and job on the line. Good luck with what ever you decide to do.

 

[marley2580]

Hey hun there is no way a midwife would sit in another room whilst you gave birth, it would go against all protocol and put her registration and job on the line. Good luck with what ever you decide to do.

True, but IF everything went according to plan, she could be completely hands off. You do, however, have to be prepared for the possibility that the MW has to touch you e.g. if things go a bit wrong.

I highly recommend going to www.homebirth.org.uk and joining the yahoo group you'll find on there. There are a lot of women on there with experience of minimal interventions/exams/anti-natal appointments etc.