Why is it so hard?

[wtbmummy]

I mean seriously. I am now feeling more and more greatful for my ds as every day goes by!!

With him it was easy!! I came off bc my cycles stayed the same, I took folic acid EVERYDAY!! Then one night we had unprotected sex and straight after both NEW 100% we had made a baby. 10days later bfp.
Now we are here, 2 n a half years later. Ds is nearly two and we want a second child.


Done exactly the same routine off bc started folic acid (although this time its not religously) every time we bd its unprotected. My cycles are NUTS first af since withdrawl bleed was 70, yes 70days!! N now this one was 37 however I have been spotting on n off this month throughout. No warnings just happens and is painful!!

So now I am feeling fed up!! It was so easy with ds and I have always been greatful but this time, I'm getting really down about things!! I have even thought about seeing the doctor to help my anxiousness (possible GAD, if anyone out there happens to also have this, I am going through a bad patch and need support from people who understand)
But as with last time like my body to be completely medication free during conception.

But I am not coping!!

My anxiety is through the roof right now with lots of other factors also. Not just ttc! I try not to stress at all and we dtd only once a week or so (so i always try n time round ovulation n opks but with such crazy cycles i cant) the doc said he thinks i did infact not ovulate when i had a 70day cycle which has now got me worried about secondary infertility issues.

Im sorry to post this but with this, work, running a home, taking care of our toddler and having family over for christmas i just needed to get it all out somewhere without fear.

Before anyone says yes I am VERY lucky to have ds and enjoy every moment i can with him. As I say its not just the ttc but i didnt know where i could really write this without being in the wrong place

If u have read my emotional turn than thank you. Thank you for letting me get it off my chest.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time

I know where you're coming from though. I became pregnant with my DD within 2 months of trying. With DS, I found out I was pregnant with him only 3-4 months after having my DD despite being on BC (which I wasn't taking religiously and I think that's why) so he was unexpected. Ever since it has been one loss after another to where I don't think I'll ever be able to have another child. When I did get pregnant, it was no longer exciting. After my last mc which was natural, no D&C, my cycles have been pretty messed up. I bleed mid cycle, I have super long AFs and I haven't been ovulating normally. It is such a pain. I feel like my body is going on strike and now I'm having secondary infertility. I keep second guessing having another one, that I should be happy with the two I have and leave it at that so I don't have to be disappointed month after month. On the other hand, I don't know if I would regret going through everything I've been through if I never end up at the birth center again with a healthy baby in my arms.

Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to share my story with you so you know you're not alone