why would you say this???

[everhopeful]

I called my MIL yesterday to thank her for the birthday present she sent me. Sadly, I started to miscarry on my birthday so it wasn't a very nice day at all. Anyway, my husband had told her as he thought she might be supportive as she too had a miscarriage but word for word she said..

"your body just isn't built for pregnancies is it...you should be grateful for the son you have and just be thankful....I very much doubt you will ever carry another pregnancy"

A bit of background.... It took over a year to fall pregnant with my son after waiting far too long to get tests. I had a placenta previa and was bleeding from 31 weeks but he is fine and there isn't a day that I am not consumed by how lucky I am..

Last August I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my right tube and just recently I have had a miscarriage.

In my opinion I have just had a bit of rotten luck. I fell pregnant with my son on my second round of clomid and again I fell pregnant on the 2nd round of clomid for this last pregnancy. I realise that it ended in a m/c but surely that doesn't mean that I can never have another pregnancy does it???

Why would you say that to someone??? She has a medical background in that she is a radiographer and works in hospitals but has NOTHING to do with fertility specialism...

Sorry just had to vent - I really don't get people sometimes...

thanks for listening

 

[jessa_cole]

That is awful! I can't believe someone would say that. If someone said that to me, I'd say "Oh and when did you become a doctor?" Even doctors can say that someone can't get pregnant and then that person gets pregnant and goes on to have beautiful, healthy children.

 

[pinkgem100]

i am so sorry for your loss, i know what it is like i lost my 1st in Dec 2008 and the last thing you need is for someone to say that to you, let alone you MIL and someone who has been through a m/c.

the only thing i will say is that you have already had one successful pregnancy so there is no reason for you not to have another!! i was worried after my m/c as i was 20 weeks and all i could think about was what happens if i never get past the 20 week mark with all others and in sept 2010 i had a happy and healthy baby girl!! we are TTC again and i know full well that there are issues and not all pregnancies all end happy, but i have already had a sucessfull pregnancy so that doesnt mean i will not have another.

sorry its a bit of a ramble. again i am so sorry for your loss and will keep my FX's and hope you get you BFP soon with a sticky bean!!

xx

 

[sarahtia]

hiya

i av a mil like!! she is horrible and dosnt bother with my daughter either and al we get is i hope u r not tryin 4 anova 1

so sorry 4 al the bad luck u r avin it can only get beta.

sometimes ppl just dont think bout what they say or they dont care if they hurt u which is shocking considering what has just happened. if she has no medical background in2 it just ignore er as she doesnt av a clue.

i would go and av a chat with ur doc to see what they say as i am sure u can carry anova baby but mayb they just need to monitor ur pregnancy nxt time

sending u lots of 4 when u do try nxt and take no notice of ur mil x

 

[everhopeful]

thank you so much Jessa and pinkgem - going to try and let it go now.... it doesn't make sense. Can't wait to annouce our BFP to her one day!!! xxx

 

[everhopeful]

thanks sarahtia - i am seeing my specialist on Monday. I am sure he can clarify things for me...
Its awful to have family that aren't very supportive - she is just pushing us away

 

[jenmcn1]

Thats AWFUL!! I am so sorry your MIL said this....it makes it even tougher b/c it's FAMILY that said this to you Thankfully...she is WRONG! You obviously CAN get pregnant and carry a baby..like you said her expertise are not in fertility...so she should really learn to keep her mouth shut. Did your DH say something to her, about her comment to you? I wouldn't worry too much...as difficult as it is to have a m/c (which I'm so sorry to hear about)....BIG hugs! And just know that your MIL was probably reacting out of feeling sad about the m/c too BEST OF LUCK

 

[Coleey]

Can't believe anyone would say that to you, especially your mil!! I'm sorry you've had such a hard time, but you should be proud of yourself! Despite everything thats happened you've kept going and kept trying, don't let a comment like that bring you down!

Sending you lots of huggles xx

 

[mybabyluv3]

That is horrible. Sometimes people just say whatever comes to the top of their heads. Please don't let her ignorance get you down. I know it would be nice to have support from your mil but as you can see that is not always the case. You just keep trying and one day you will have another baby or more even. Let her choke on her own words..

 

[SLH]

I'm so sorry for your loss! First of all, nothing she is saying is the truth! You conceived before and I'm sure you will conceive again. Don't believe anything she says! Maybe it hurt her to see you miscarry and maybe she thinks it will happen again which is why she's saying these things to you.

 

[everhopeful]

thank you all so much for your support - its so lovely to have this forum here for our good and bad days!!
My husband told me to ignore the comment as she doesn't know what she is talking about but it just shocked me I think... anyway here's to sticky beans for all of us!!!!

 

[sarahtia]

ur welcome

hope u get al ur answers wen u go. just try and er if you can till she says sorry at least

 

[SLH]

thank you all so much for your support - its so lovely to have this forum here for our good and bad days!!
My husband told me to ignore the comment as she doesn't know what she is talking about but it just shocked me I think... anyway here's to sticky beans for all of us!!!!

Don't listen to anything she says. Your husband is right! She doesn't know what she's talking about. I know your son will have a sibling very soon

 

[dizzy65]

 

[Pinkflower83]

That was just heartless and mean! So sorry hun! You'll fall pregnant again and have a beautiful healthy baby and show her! Baby dust and prayers to you!

 

[Duffy]

That is just a gross thing for a family member to say especially someone who has been in the same boat. Your toddler is your proof that you can get pregnant and carry, that toddler is your PROOF. Ignore her she is a bitter lady.