Will I be jealous of my hubby and baby?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Rymel12, Oct 6, 2013.

  1. Rymel12

    Rymel12 Well-Known Member

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    I honestly feel kind of silly writing this post, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. A little background here- I'm an only child, grew up never wanting siblings (though as an adult I wish I had some now for the companionship and to have more family around after my parents pass). I have had a history of having that one closest friend vs. hanging out with a million acquaintances. I guess you could say I'm a one on one kind of person. My concern is when the baby is born, that I'm going to feel jealous of my husband's love for her and attention away from me. Granted I will be paying more attention to the baby and less to him as well but I'm fearful of not seeing it that way when the time comes. I know my hubby is going to be an amazing dad (1st child for both of us). I can tell this by the way he is with our dogs. On occasion throughout this pregnancy I have called my hubby out on the fact that he gave the dogs three hugs and hadn't given me one that day. I feel like im acting childish. Please tell me this is just hormones! Anyone else concerned about being jealous over they OH and LO when they get here?
     
  2. drudai

    drudai Well-Known Member

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    From what I've seen for most women, you'll be so zapped of energy and wanting a nap, you'll be begging him to take the little one! Hehe.

    But I completely understand where you're coming from. It might be something that you feel at first but changes over time. Babies have the amazing ability to change everything.
     
  3. Louise88

    Louise88 Dd- ciara and ds- James

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    I remember being jealous at first but that's because I was petrified of my baby and didn't feel that rush of love when she was born but my oh cried when she was born and was so confident with her I felt there was something wrong with me and was jealous that he was so comfortable with her and was able to love her straight away and I wasn't.

    Fast forward abit I actually appreciated my oh taking her and giving her cuddles it meant I got a little break and was able to eat with 2 hands lol

    I know your worried now but trust me it will be fine once babies here as you will want a break from holding her at some point so will appreciate your oh taking her while you have that break :)
     
  4. ClairAye

    ClairAye Mum to one of each!

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    When I see the bond my OH has with our son, all it makes me feel is a gush of love! I love seeing them bonding and cuddling etc :)

    I'm sure it's a common worry though :hugs:
     
  5. Brz04

    Brz04 Well-Known Member

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    I have to admit that I've had similar thoughts as well...also an only child here!! My DH has always doted on me as long as weve been together so I am also a little nervous about sharing the attention with our little boy. I agree with the PP's though...I think we will be so exhausted we will be happy for them to take the LO's and give us a break!!
     
  6. Emma&Freya

    Emma&Freya Well-Known Member

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    I got jealous with my first and that was because I thought my daughter loved my OH more than me. I got depressed with my first but with our Mia there is no jealousy :)
     
  7. TriChick

    TriChick Mom-Wife-Triathlete:)

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    I was worried at first too, but when Harrison came I realized that my love didn't need to be divided between my DH and LO. I loved my husband even more once I saw him as a father, and developed a kind of love for my son that I never knew existed (cliche, I know:)). Once I made that realization, I understood that the situation was equal for my DH, and that his love and affection for our son didn't mean that our bond as husband and wife was any less. It's crazy when you realize how much your heart can expand once LO is here! Good luck hun, it will be fine:)
     
  8. Breadsticks

    Breadsticks First-time Mom

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    I am very one-on-one also. I will say it is hard that I don't get the cuddles from my husband like I used to. Our daughter doesn't go to bed until midnight or 1AM most nights so we don't get the evenings just the two of us like I had (naively :haha:) expected.

    However, as much as I miss just cuddling up to my husband at night and falling asleep in his arms before midnight lol, nothing beats playing with our daughter together, taking walks with her, seeing her light up when he comes home from work, etc!
     
  9. Louise88

    Louise88 Dd- ciara and ds- James

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    You will get your evenings back ;) my daughter didn't settle into a bed time routine until she was 8 months old that's when she started going to sleep at 7pm and waking at 7am she kind of moved herself to a 6pm bedtime now though but I can't complain lol so me and oh get most evenings together now :)
     
  10. iluvmyfamily

    iluvmyfamily mom to 5 babies 1 angel

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    When I had my first I was insanely jealous. It wasn't just about DH either. It was also about other people and the baby. But with him it was stronger. I kept seeing him picking her up and loving on her and I thought he loved her more than he loved me lol. It was a very stupid thing when I think back to it now but I was only 20 and she was my first, plus having PPD didn't make matters better. With my others I didn't feel like that though. Weird thing is with this one I'm a lil down and out because I keep seeing him holding her and it's like she's always with him. I'm sure she's closer to him than she is to me and it kind of upsets me :( But anyways it's a normal feeling to be jealous. I'm sure it'll pass.
     
  11. Breadsticks

    Breadsticks First-time Mom

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    Thanks, Louise! It's nice to know she will give up her night owl ways at some point :haha:
     
  12. minties

    minties Complete

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    Hë'll be more likely to be jealous of you and the baby and resent the bond you will have.
     
  13. iluvmyfamily

    iluvmyfamily mom to 5 babies 1 angel

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    Just out of curiosity, but why do you say he will resent the bond she will have with her baby?
     
  14. rayne22

    rayne22 mother of 2

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    After our daughter was born, I had a bit of baby blues and I broke down crying saying my husband loved the baby more then me. This was a concern for me before baby was here and we had talked about it saying it wouldn't happen. So of course my fears and irrational thinking were magnified with hormones still going crazy after birth. That thought went away tho.
    However there were times when my husband would play with our daughter and have a 'first' with her... first time making her laugh, first time throwing a ball, first time doing a somersault (she is now over 2 yrs old), and I get a twinge of jealousy cuz its not me doing it. I have to remind myself that they have a bond and it includes things that I may not think to do with our daughter, and that its actually a good thing for them to be so connected. My daughter comes to me for comfort, cuddles, and playtime. She goes to dad for more active play-he always says he doesn't get any cuddles, so I almost think he may be jealous of my bond wth her.
    Just always try to make time for the two of you so that your bond is still strong, yo will see things in a more positive light and help everyone connect.
     
  15. Cccbb61013

    Cccbb61013 Well-Known Member

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    The way my husband instantly fell in love with our son made me love him 100x more. Him adoring our child is my favorite thing about him. At times when I question our relationship, him being a good dad always brings me back. I can't speak for anyone else, but I've never had any form of jealousy over my child. He is my world & I want him to be the center of everyone's attention!
     
  16. jenniferttc1

    jenniferttc1 mommy of 1 baking #2

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    No, all I remember then, and even now is how much I admire their love for one another. There is nothing more heartfelt than seeing a daddy and his childs love for one another.
     

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