Will I ever truly love H2B's kids?

[brunettebimbo]

This was a question that popped into my head today and the answer is.....I don't know.

Does anyone else ever wonder about this who's partners already have children?

 

[Clueless]

I love my DSS with all my heart, though I know my OH loves him more than I do iykwim?

Have you spent much time with his kids?

 

[brunettebimbo]

DSS?

Yep every other weekend since we got together.

 

[Amygdala]

How old were they when you got together? And what makes your think that you don't love them enough? Do you not have a good relationship with them or do you just feel you should be even closer to them?

 

[PnutProtector]

DSS = dear step son

I guess this is similar to my situation. I'm a nanny, and while I love Little R, I'll never love him like his parents do. I would imagine its even harder when the children are older too. On the other hand, you'll love your own child more than your H2B's kids. Don't stress about it though, it's just how things are.

 

[Bambi1985]

I love OH kids to bits but as others have said, it'll never be as much as he does. I think the age they were when you met them does make a difference as well. I get on much better with his youngest who I've known since he was around 21 months. He will be 5 in March so he's had me around him for over half his life. HIs eldest who is 9 has always been a lot more cautious (? not sure if that's the word I'm looking for ?) around me.

 

[brunettebimbo]

They where 1 and 2 when we got together, I felt really close when they where younger but as they have gotten older we have sort have grown apart. I don't know if it's because I am really broody.

 

[Amygdala]

Hm. How old are they now? Do you see them less often?

 

[KittyKatBabe]

Hi, Probably awful of me to admit, my OH has a 14year old daughter, I genuinely like the girl and we get on, she is a really nice good girl lots of fun and typical teen now. Probably not as close as I could be, I wouldn't say I love her yet but she is special, but I am sure in time this will happen, my OH and me been together 2 years. Was a new thing for me to get used to a teenager and sometimes I think she gets a bit jealous of the OH spending time with others, but its natural, she loves her dad so much and misses him - as he does her. I love that about him.

I know sometimes I should make an effort when she comes round, but then sometimes of late I get a bit jealous of her (not nice to admit) but I hope me and OH have a child soon of our own, we have had 2 losses and I did for a while think I hope I get my healthy bub for us both, would be great to have a lil brother/sister for Jenna who I am sure will be an excellent role model to them growing up.

Hope I don't sound like a witch for admissions of the above. But I think its perfectly fine to have strong/weak connections with OH's kids sometimes these bonds can take longer and change when you don't realise.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

You may never get the bond that you want hun but as long as you always treat them good even when you have a baby thats ok
xx

 

[KittyKatBabe]

I agree, I actually think when I have a baby with OH it will bring us a bit closer, cos my child and his first child will have a bond there. I won't feel like the odd one out as much as I do now.

 

[PnutProtector]

I agree, I actually think when I have a baby with OH it will bring us a bit closer, cos my child and his first child will have a bond there. I won't feel like the odd one out as much as I do now.

that's a good point!

 

[brunettebimbo]

I agree, I actually think when I have a baby with OH it will bring us a bit closer, cos my child and his first child will have a bond there. I won't feel like the odd one out as much as I do now.

Yeh I think that is probably right! I think it is just because I am so broody and to be perfectly honest I am not as close to any children anymore just because it hurts me too much.