will i have to let him take her??

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by SophiasMummy, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. SophiasMummy

    SophiasMummy Mummy to Sophia

    May 28, 2010
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    i dont want arguments as im completly for my LOs dad spending time with her as much as possible. she is 3 months old this week and her dad has only seen her 2wice he is coming to see her again on friday, i know his family want to meet her and i sed when she was a bit older i will bring her up as he lives an hour and half away by train (i cant drive) and i didnt want to travel that far with the cold etc with a newborn, so shes coming to the stage when i think i should take her up to meet his family which as i sed i dont mind doing.

    but, he is back with an ex that he broke up with way before we got together and he told me she was crazy etc she used to text him saying if he didnt take her back she woud kill herself so he blocked her number. obv he unblocked it when we broke up and they got back together. anyway im not too worried about her when i go up there as he knows i dont want her anywhere near me or LO and if she does turn up i will just get on a train and leave basically, but im worried about a few months on from now and him asking to have her for the day and stuff by himself as obv if he has her up there his gf will be there to and i dont want her near my baby,
    i dont know what to do i wont let him see her by himself anyway as LO freaks out if im not around and just screams at whoever has her accept my mum and because he can only be bothered to come see her once a month as his missus doesnt like him coming to see LO he didnt even come see her when she was born and in the NNU for 5 days or to sign the birth certificate and doesnt give me anything for her nappys or anything.

    i just dunno what to do its worrying me so much i dont want him to have her alone anyway eventhough i trust him but she is my lil girl i cant bear to be apart from her but i know he will ask eventually.

    sorry bout the long rant and if it doesnt make sense just needed to vent
  2. sazzyb1985

    sazzyb1985 Well-Known Member

    Aug 31, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Hiya i know how you feel, my lo is 22 months old and her dad has never had her on his own. Luckily he has never asked and at the moment he sees her about twice a week but i worry all the time that he will ask to take her out on his own. Have you spoken to him about how you feel?My ex knows how i feel about not wanting to leave my lo with anyone and so far he has been good about it. I think as your lo gets older, and gets to know her dad better you may feel differently about him having her, she will know him better and you will know whether you can trust he will put her needs first.My lo loves her dad now and i actually think she would love to spend the day with just him, its just me who isn't ready for that yet! Hope everything works out for you x
  3. mumtofour81

    mumtofour81 Mother of 4

    Mar 11, 2010
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    I think you've got every reason at the moment to say that he can see her at your house or somewhere mutual but because of her clingliness you do not feel that at the moment he can have her alone as she needs her mummy. I think in the future tho, if he proves himself to be a reasonable and decent father then you may have to forget about the feelings towards his gf seeing them but do know how you feel. I've got a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old and I had to fight like hell with social services to become a mum and my youngest was the only one never to be in care, I actually have 4 kids but two were adopted out by ss. I hated it when they started going to their dad gf house with fear that she will become like a 2nd mum or something but as adults we have to be stronger and allow our LOs to have as much access with their vacant parent as much as possible

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