Will our relationship ever be the same...?

[Clareybeary]

DH and I have such an amazing relationship. We have disagreements but never argue. He is a rock to me when I'm having one of my 'moments' and we absolutely love spending every spare moment together (not just honeymoon period - been togeher for 10 years, married for 1, living together for 9 years!) and we're both worried that after we have a child, our relationship won't be as intense, we won't have 'alone' time anymore or go out for expensive meals as we sometimes do for special occasions. I mean, I know everything changes after you have a baby but I think we're just so selfish at the moment and wrapped up in our own lives (and have been for the past decade!). Anyone else worried too or has experience of having a child and how it changes your relationship. I really do want to start a family with him but am just panicking!!!

 

[BabyMama89]

Congrats on the 10 years with your hubs. That's impressive. My husband and i were quite exclusive, as well, and when i fell pregnant i thought the same way but when the baby was born it gave us a special bond together that only made us love each other more.


xx hope this helps

 

[Tina_TTC2]

hmm.. I think it will go to one of 2 extremes - My husband and I were together for 14 years (married for about 10) when our daughter arrived.

There were some initial rough moments of adjustment - but nothing severe. Mainly you just have to figure everything out. BUT - once you begin to bond - and your husband will to - with your child - that will be it. You won't be able to imagine life without him/her. Well, you could try, but it would hurt too much.

I hear all these people mourn the loss of their previous lives, the freedom to do whatever/whenever, and spend money on whatever/whenever. And I don't get it at all. The immense happiness of having her in our lives drowns out any possibility of any other emotion.

If you enjoy eachother - JUST eachother - without having to go out and spend money and do things - and just enjoy the presense of each other - I think you'll be JUST fine! because this little person is an extension of each of you, and will only INTENSIFY those emotions and love. If you need to have a life as an individual and go out and do a lot of things for you - and focus a lot on you - or if he is the same way - then it will be harder, because once a child comes, it's no longer about YOU... if you are already devoted strongly to eachother, then adding a child should only enhance that love - and bring you a happiness you can only imagine now.

Hugs!

Tina

 

[ellieraine]

Hi, I could have written part of that threat myself! My LO is nearly 2 years old and although I hadn't been with my OH for as long as you have I was terrified about how our relationship would change once LO was born.

Although I enjoyed being PG and was looking forward to meeting LO I found myself really appreciating and making the most of every second that OH and I had together as I thought it would all end.

I won't lie, our relationship has changed as we don't get as much 'us' time in that we can't go out as much, but when we do go out we have such a great time. We really look forward to it whereas before we probably took the freedom for granted a bit.

The time we have as a family is priceless and so amazing I can't put it into work. The time I have with my LO on my own is wonderful as my OH takes him out so that I can have some 'me' time.

I can understand your worries, but please believe me that what you gain is so amazing that it is worth the change in your relationship. We are so much closer in so many ways and we are so proud of our LO.

All the best x

 

[proud_mum]

Hello,

I can understand your worries and I wont lie, I think having a baby does alter your relationship and I think it is very easy for mums to become absorbed in a baby but I feel that you still have to make time for OH or Husbands. If you've got a good network of family and friends around you i'm sure they'll all be willing to mind the baby and give you and your husband together time Please try not to worry too much about it because it will all balance itself out and to be honest you and your husband will have something even greater together when you have your baby

 

[Clareybeary]

Ah thanks gals, both lovely replies. We love nothing much than spending time just at home together, we don't go out very often but when we do it's lovely. Yes, I can really imagine that having a baby will just bond us even more!

 

[princess_bump]

it's true, having a baby just unites a strong relationship. me and my DF have been together 5 years now, and i think we're more in love each day. having a baby just made us even more in love as we'd connected on this totally amazing level

 

[beccad]

Ah thanks gals, both lovely replies. We love nothing much than spending time just at home together, we don't go out very often but when we do it's lovely. Yes, I can really imagine that having a baby will just bond us even more!

My husband and I are like this. I love just spending time with him just pottering about at home It's a bit like we're in our own little bubble

I look at it that you can still go out and do stuff now and again, and besides, what will I be giving up? We aren't out partying every weekend at the moment, so nothing to miss there

 

[BabyMama89]

Ah thanks gals, both lovely replies. We love nothing much than spending time just at home together, we don't go out very often but when we do it's lovely. Yes, I can really imagine that having a baby will just bond us even more!

im glad you feel that way, i totally agree one hundred percent like i told you above It will only get better and better, and you and your Hubs will have this special bond that only you two share