Will swaying make me more miserable? Opinions please!

[Ashla]

Well after 4 years and two miscarriages before being blessed with DS1, DH and I are about to begin TTC #2.

Although I had severe GD with DS, I now see that he was the perfect child for me. He has taught me so much and I really do delight in (almost) every day with him!

Having a son when I only wanted daughters, has made me realise that I would really enjoy giving DS a brother. And I can certainly relish the idea of having two boys. But I can't help wondering if a part of me won't be forever disappointed that I didn't get my girl. I come from a family of four girls and have always been surrounded by strong women. I think part of me will always feel wistful if I don't have a girl. And DH has always wanted a girl as well.

But I am also worried that if DH and I try to sway for a girl and we get a boy, we will both be more disappointed than if we just left it to chance. But if we leave it to chance and we get a boy, will I always wonder...?

If we have a boy next I have promised myself we will stop at two, so this is the last roll of the dice.

Does anyone have any advice or experience they could share? Did you sway and still not get the gender you wanted? Did you leave things to chance and wish you had swayed?

 

[Misscalais]

I tried swaying and I just didn't get pregnant. I fell pregnant on the 6th mth then miscarried. Fell pregnant a cycle after that and had a chemical
I think with a girl sway you really have to try super hard with the diet and getting a good acidic vaginal PH and most women do this for like 6 mths before the even start TTC its just too much. I've just been doing a few of the sups and I've just started using a little bit of aci jel to lower ph before BD.
( we are TTC a girl lol ) we have two boys at this point I know ill have GD if I had another boy but I'm just wanting a healthy happy baby. Half swaying and praying hard for our girl lol

 

[Ashla]

Thanks Misscalais. That is one of my concerns. It took us four years to conceive DS and that was without trying to avoid BDing on the two days before O! Although, I have heard some people say that Shettle's has been disproved... I wish I was swaying for a boy, that does seem a bit easier: lots of BDing and high calorie food!

I just kind of feel that if we go to all that effort to sway and then we have a boy, it will be like we have already admitted we don't want him. And then I'll be even more sad because I won't even be able to pretend that I actually wanted a boy all along (which is what I have almost convinced everyone else at the moment)! But deep down, I know I really do want a girl.

Am I crazy?

 

[Platinumvague]

I want to sway with our 3rd and final baby.We have been blessed with two girls.I really wanted a boy this time.We found out yesterday we are having a 2nd daughter.I go back and forth on being sad.It is extremely hard to be disappointed when we are able to concieve so easily and have healthy babies.We did lose our last baby.I have a strong feeling that was our boy.I'm afraid if I sway I will get impatient and give up because I rush it.I have no idea how I keep getting girls.I was one a lot of folic acid with this pregnancy.I eat horrible too.Maybe that is the key?

 

[Misscalais]

Yeah don't even worry about shettles as long as that PH is down at O time the girly sperm have more of a chance.
I know what you mean, if I did have another boy i never would want him to think he was a failed attempt at a girl :-/ that would be horrible. So I guess that's why we are not doing such a full on sway.
You're not crazy lol!

 

[Platinumvague]

I should mention that with 1st DD when DTD every day the week of ovulation.With this DD we DTD only on ovulation day.Timing it out totally didn't work for us.

 

[mumseypie]

HI! Although I have read that it has worked for some couples, swaying did not work for us...at all, after no previous problems conceiving, the pressure was too much for us and we did not conceive for over 2 yrs. When we gave up, I got pregnant right away, based on Shettle's timing method chances for a boy seemed very likely, we are having girl #3, honestly, this is just for me, I wish I had never ever picked up a book, read, researched it as it only made me fuss and become completely obsessed about it. Anyway, easier said than done, as at the time, I was desparate for a little bundle of blue!!! Good luck to you whatever you choose to do!!!

 

[Ashla]

Thanks everyone. Mumsypie, congrats on your little girl and thanks for your advice. I tend to over-think so many things so if I decided to sway, I can see myself doing what you did and researching and reading lots! Then again, if I don't sway, I will probably always wonder, 'what if...'

Platinumvague and Misscalais, it is good to know that timing doesn't work. Because there is no way I would have the patience! I would probably relent in the second month of TTC (if not before) and just BD heaps in the lead up to O!

Misscalais, you mentioned taking supplements. Which ones, if you don't mind me asking? I'm thinking that maybe I will just take some supplements on the quiet. That way, I can hopefully increase my chances ever so slightly, but without causing DH or I too much angst. I don't want to tell DH about swaying. Even though I know he would support me 100%, I feel like admitting how much I want a girl to anyone outside this forum will make me extra sad if I end up having a boy. And I want to be happy this pregnancy (when/if it happens). I wasted too much time during my last worrying about things that ended up not mattering (ie having a boy when I wanted a girl).

And PS, Misscalais, hope you get your BFP really soon. I know how hard TTC through two losses can be. You deserve some happy news soon

 

[motherofboys]

I'm trying to decided whether to sway or not next time.
My fears are that I couldn't keep up the girl sway. Especially if it took a long time to conceive again, no way could I do the girl diet for 2 and half years like this one took.
Also if I swayed it would make me more hopeful for a girl and possibly much more disappointed when I got a boy.
On the other hand swaying would give me the feeling that I had done everything I could and tried my very best and if I got a 5th boy then at least I would know that it was just the way it was meant to be.

The site genderdreaming has lots of great advise on the correct diet, supplements and life style changes (types of exercise)

 

[Misscalais]

Thanks hun Magnesium and calcium, cranberry and of course folic acid. They are the basic ones.
Check out the gender dreaming web site there is lots of info for girl sway on there
That's what I was using and I'm using a finger tip of aci jel an hour before BD. we were using sylk but I think that was too acidic for hubbies swimmers lol!

 

[Ashla]

Thanks for the info Motherofboys and Misscalais. I have spent a good part of the weekend on the genderdreaming site. Wow. I had no idea it was so complicated! I think you are right about people preparing 6 months before they TTC, Misscalais. The thing that really struck me was that I could do a few things to try to sway girl but unless I was across all the info, I might accidentally do other things that would sway boy.

So, given that I am super keen for another LO asap, it looks like DH and I will be leaving it to chance...

Wish me luck

 

[motherofboys]

Good Luck, it does seem quiet daunting.

 

[SparkleUK]

I only dtd once during ovulation, and it was on my first day of ovulation. I stalked these boards as I was so desperate for a girl, I completely resigned myself that I'd be having a boy. I checked the Chinese gender predictor which agreed boy....so just felt hopeless!
Had a private scan at 16 weeks and she's a girl!
All that stress and heartache for nothing!
Sorry for jumping into the thread, I regularly still check the GD boards as I found them so helpful when I was trying, fingers crossed to you xxx

 

[onetwothreebp]

I would personally never sway. I find pregnancy stressful enough, I can't imagine putting all that work in beforehand and then still possibly be disappointed.

 

[motherofboys]

It did take a lot of us to get pregnant this time, I had to take b6 for a few months and chart, temping every morning and everything. So the extra 'work' doesn't put me off, its the possible raising of hopes or the getting wrong info and swaying the wrong way.

 

[blondebabe]

Omg... This is me! I could have written this lol...

I was desperate for a girl and cried when lo was a boy at the 20 week scan...
Now that he's here I feel so lucky but wanting to start trying after our wedding I can only think that lo would love a brother to play with... I would love a girl tho and when I do get pregnant I know I will be wanting a girl...
Good luck tho xxx

 

[Ashla]

Thanks Blondebabe. Hope you get your little girl!