Will your birthing partner be with you all through labour?

AngelofTroy

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My OH only has 5 days paternity leave, and obviously we want to have time as a family after bubs is born, so if he's at work then when should I call him?

I don't want to be in early labour on my own, but my mum was in labour for 3 days with my brother, so what if I call him on a Monday say, and baby isn't born till the Wednesday? It would probably be Thursday or later before we even get to come home. What if I delay calling him til I'm progressing and then bubs comes quicker than expected? It'll take him over an hour to leave work and get to the hospital. Or what if I call him or he stays home and then it turns out to be a false start?

The same with my mum, I wanted her with me in the hospital at least, in fact we don't have a car so my mum or dad will take us ideally (don't fancy a taxi unless there's no other way). She can take 3 days compassionate leave but I really think we'll need her help and advice when baby comes home.

So how do people make it work? I guess I just hope and pray that my labour is fast or that I'm in labour over a weekend!
 
My husband works in IT so is allowed to work from home from about 38/9 weeks, he can't take paternity leave because they only offered statuary (which means losing £800!!) so once the baby comes he's using his last few weeks holiday. Hopefully this means he will be with me, which I am very grateful for. If baby comes early I'll labour on my own until he can get home from work, but they will allow home to come straight away. Failing that, my mum or my friend will take me to hosp or come over.
Anyway after that babble, it's so hard to choose what to do, but can you have a driving friend on standby at all to take you to hospital if it really comes to it? Or if in early labour, I've been reading you 'should' be ok on your own until he can get home especially if your expecting a long one like your mum. My mum had fast births four times, and all of my sisters gave birth within five hours, so hoping I go the same way! :flower:
 
If my labour goes on for a very long time, my OH will go home for a bit, there's no point him being stuck there with me if there's very little actually happening for a full day or more and he'll only be 30 mins away, plus we have horses and dogs which will need seeing to.
Hopefully the MW will be able to advise how things are looking to progress, but I hope he doesn't have to go off to see to things thinking there's plenty of time and then I suddenly give birth, but I guess there's no way of telling and I'll just have to deal with it as it comes!
I know we all want things a certain way, and want OH/Parent etc there for all of it, but sometimes we have to make a decision on how we'll play it if things aren't quick or straightforward and that we might not be able to have everything we'd like and just accept what others can manage in terms because of outside factors =(
 
How come your OH will only get 5 days? Im sure its supposed to be 2 weeks? and im sure thats after the baby is born.

I guess you will just have to see how things work out and try not to worry.xxx
 
My husband will be there for me when I go in labour and took 2 weeks off to help afterwards. Paternity leaves offer a week full paid and next week is half paid only so he took a week holiday to have a full pay.

Someone did told me yesturday ..:

A mother get to have a full year if they want to bond with their baby.. but what about the father? why can't he have more than 2 weeks to bond with this child as well?

So it got my pondering :)
 
On the basis that my OH's work was fantastic and let him have time off to be with me when my Dad died, I reckon they will be equally as awesome when I go into labour! So yep, I plan on him being with me for the whole thing...I feel that it's an experience for him as well being his first child, I wouldn't want him to miss a thing!
 
OH can have 2 weeks, but the second week is very low paid.

My dad might be around for driving me, he's got time off around the due date but I feel a bit weird about him being the only one with me! I don't know why really!
 
If hes not at school or work when I go into labor then yes otherwise I will just tell him when he needs to get his ass to the hospital lol but if hes at home when I go into labor hes not going anywhere else but the hospital with me. I was induced but only in active labor for 5 hours with my first so rather him be there from the start.
 
I think men can take a month paternity leave but it would be unpaid, or that's my understanding. I am being induced on Thurs so my OH will take me in but there is no need for him to be there all the way through at that stage. I will call him when things are progressing I think, otherwise we'll both be going mad. He is just taking a week off afterwards as annual leave, not paternity.
 
My husband will be there for me when I go in labour and took 2 weeks off to help afterwards. Paternity leaves offer a week full paid and next week is half paid only so he took a week holiday to have a full pay.

Someone did told me yesturday ..:

A mother get to have a full year if they want to bond with their baby.. but what about the father? why can't he have more than 2 weeks to bond with this child as well?

So it got my pondering :)

You can now transfer your maternity leave to the father (after the first 3-4 months I think), or if you can't yet, you will be able to soon (in the UK) and in a few other countries too.

Only one parent per child can get time off though - and I can understand why, the country would probably grind to a halt otherwise :haha:

My DH and a friend who was also birth partner both went to work while I was in the first couple of days of labour - they were both ready to leave at a moment's notice if I felt like things were progressing and they were needed, but somehow I just knew from the beginning that I was in for the long haul and again, knew when things started moving along and it was time to go.

It'll be the same again this time!
 
My OH will be there all the time - don't think wild horses could drag him away (although I think that might change once I turn into the mad screamy woman off OBEM). The question is more how you would cope if he has to go into work while you're in labour, can you deal without him? Also him missing the actual birth is a possibility as you said - how would he feel about that?

I would compromise on that if you go into early labour or are being induced during the work day then wait it out til he gets home and then you'll save one day's leave, on average it seems to be 12-24hrs for a first baby from the contractions starting...
 
Yup when the pains start to get uncomfy/unbearable i'll buzz him and we'll go (he's about 30 mins away) - thats the plan! lol
 
Unless im really worried about something im going to try and stay at home as long as possible as i dnt like the idea of being in hospital fr potentially a couple days.
Im nt gna get OH to start his paternity leave until im in hospital, i think id possibly maul him cos he fusses so much lol im gna want to try and get on with stuff around the flat to take my mind iff it but i know he wudnt let me do anything lol
I also thought men cudnt start their paternity leave till baby was born..now i know :thumbup:
 
My OH starts his degree at uni two days before my EDD.
So I don't have a clue what will happen really.
 

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