Work are stressing me out!!!

[elephant29]

Hi ladies!

I could use some hugs please due to an issue with my work.

I had my 20 week scan today. I was obviously nervous and excited. It was at 12pm and I work 9-5. My work is 30 minutes away from the hospital by bus (I dont drive). I left at 11.15 to get the 11.25 bus, so was cutting it pretty fine for my appointment but I didnt want to leave work any earlier.

Anyway. Had my scan and there were some measurements that they couldnt get, in particular the heart. They gave me the option of going away and coming back at 2.30pm as they had space. Otherwise I would likely have to wait a week or 2. Now to me the obvious choice was to go back at 2.30. I was worried and just wanted to get it all over with and make sure my baby was ok. I tried calling work several time but the line was busy. eventually I got through and spoke to my manager and she was ridiculous!!

She just started by saying it wasnt acceptable the amount of time off I was having (for antenatal appointments) and the company couldnt sustain this. I argued the point that these appointments were being made because they were necessary and did she expect me to not attend them? She came back that taking a whole afternoon off for a scan wasnt acceptable. I thought I was reasonable when I explained that normally this wouldnt have been an issue, I would have had the scan, everything would have bee fine and I'd have went back to work. However, pregnancy is unpredictable and it turned out that I needed an additional scan and I just went with my instinct and took the next available one which happened to be today!

Do you think I have been unreasonable? My boss seems to think I am taking too much time off. I have had 4 appointments since 08.08, 2 have been with my consultant. I also had a bleed one morning and had to go to hospital but I went straight to work when I got out,...this was also brought up by my boss.

I though I was being sensible taking an appointment on a day I was already out of the office as this saves me having to take another few hours off on another day. Her argument in that all my appointments are in the afternoon (made for me as clinics only run in the afternoon) and I take the whole time off which just isnt fair! If I have a 2pm appointment I will leave at 1.30. Most of the time my appointments run over/late and I end up being away for 3 hours however this has only been 4 times for 4 appointments!!

Sorry for the essay I just needed to rant. She has totally spoiled an important day for me. Oh and it's hanging over my head that she is going to have a meeting with me tomorrow to 'discuss what we will need to do as we can't continue with this amount of time off'.

Thanks for reading.

xxx

 

[tink30]

Shes nasty!! and you ignore her hun, wat a horrible woman.. you did exactly the right thing.. and you are entitled to this time off for important things like scans xxx if she carries on I feel a trip to H.R.. she is in the wrong xxxhugsxxx

 

[Mrs Good]

wow that is terrible! I think you will find you are covered by law if you look at your HR section to take time off for antenatal appts - she sounds like a bully and the stress can't be good on the baby!! How dare she spoil your special day!!!!

 

[MyLittleFish]

What a nasty lady! You are entitled to the time off and as you said it was better to have it all done today, i would have thought she would have been grateful for your thoughtfulness at not taking a scan in a week or 2 and having to take more time off (which again you would be entitled too!)! i'm sorry your boss is so mean, its not fair at a time when you want to be happy!

 

[elephant29]

Shes nasty!! and you ignore her hun, wat a horrible woman.. you did exactly the right thing.. and you are entitled to this time off for important things like scans xxx if she carries on I feel a trip to H.R.. she is in the wrong xxxhugsxxx

Thanks so much! She is nasty! Do you know she didnt even ask me how the scan went, or if I had found out the sex. She has no people skills whatsoever! There is a bit of back history in that my last pregnancy they treated me so bad I went on early maternity. I returned pregnant blush and they tried to get me to quit but eventually had to offer me a different position with different hours.

She is now trying to make me feel guilty for taking time of for scans and midwife appointments?!? I just dont know how to approach this woman anymore!

xxx

 

[Weebear]

I would keep a note of all the times you've been away, for how long etc, and what your boss has said to you each time. Then you have everything written if you ever need it. You have a right to attend antenatal apts without being made to feel bad about it! She is also causing you additional stress which isnt good for you or baby! Do you have an HR dept? x

 

[SabrinaKat]

Go to HR (if there is one) immediately when you arrive to work tomorrow. What she is doing illegal (sorry, gets me mad as well!!!!); call your equivalent of the Equality Authority (or if you read this tonight and have access to a printer), print out the particulars about antenatal appointments --

I had a problem with my immediate boss, who was insisting that I take 'holidays', but when I pointed this out to the accountant (on my time-sheet), she laughed and said: 'nope, we pay you, so if he wants you take the morning off, then we pay you for the entire morning!'

pls do not let this woman (!) bully you -- you and the baby are far more important than her!

best wishes

 

[elephant29]

wow that is terrible! I think you will find you are covered by law if you look at your HR section to take time off for antenatal appts - she sounds like a bully and the stress can't be good on the baby!! How dare she spoil your special day!!!!

Thank you!!

She said to me that I should have consulted with her before taking the appointment (!!) and that I should have taken one for next week when it would have been annual leave or unpaid. I pointed out right away that she couldnt do this and she tried to backtrack saying it was only a suggestion. When she is backed into a corner or proven wrong she would never ever admit it or back down, instead she becomes vicious and defensive.

xxx

 

[Amethyste]

What a selfish b**tch ! Not only she tells you off for something you are entitle to but she also have no consideration. That is your baby's health they are checking. Make sure you had a note from your hospital, she do anything if you have one.

 

[donnalou]

What a nasty women, Have you got a HR dept that you can talk to? Have you had a Risk Asessment done?

 

[elephant29]

I would keep a note of all the times you've been away, for how long etc, and what your boss has said to you each time. Then you have everything written if you ever need it. You have a right to attend antenatal apts without being made to feel bad about it! She is also causing you additional stress which isnt good for you or baby! Do you have an HR dept? x

I unfortunately dont have an HR manager/dept as she is off on maternity and I am covering for her!!!! (I do work for the company in another role but they moved me after some issues with be being off with hyperemesis).

It's definitely not good as I am going into work with a knot in my tummy now!

xxx

 

[elephant29]

Go to HR (if there is one) immediately when you arrive to work tomorrow. What she is doing illegal (sorry, gets me mad as well!!!!); call your equivalent of the Equality Authority (or if you read this tonight and have access to a printer), print out the particulars about antenatal appointments --

I had a problem with my immediate boss, who was insisting that I take 'holidays', but when I pointed this out to the accountant (on my time-sheet), she laughed and said: 'nope, we pay you, so if he wants you take the morning off, then we pay you for the entire morning!'

pls do not let this woman (!) bully you -- you and the baby are far more important than her!

best wishes

I actually had a employment rights lawyer involved as they tried to get me to quit (or thats the way I was made to feel) but I didnt pursue it (even though he said they were sexually discriminating against me) because they offered me a good position. I wish I had now!

xxx

 

[elephant29]

What a nasty women, Have you got a HR dept that you can talk to? Have you had a Risk Asessment done?

No HR and no risk assessment done yet either!!

xxx

 

[readytotry]

If I were you I would email hr tomorrow and state that your boss has told you that taking time off for antenatal appointments is unacceptable and you want to know where you stand.
This will probably cause hr to contact your boss and tell her to back off because they will be worried about legal action. At the very least they will email you to tell you it's fine and then you can show it to your boss. It should get the point across that you will report her without the hassle of a formal complaint.

 

[Stargazer77]

Fuck her. It's only a job.

 

[Kyliem87]

sending lots and lots of extra hugs look it up online but they are legally obliged to give you unhassled paid time off for ante natal visits regardless of time. It's unfair they are making you feel like this and as there was something wrong and needed looked at again they are OBLIGED to keep their trap shut and give you this time. Try not to stress about it hun and don't let them walk all over you about them xx

 

[Stargazer77]

Actually, do this much more sensible suggestion than mine

If I were you I would email hr tomorrow and state that your boss has told you that taking time off for antenatal appointments is unacceptable and you want to know where you stand.
This will probably cause hr to contact your boss and tell her to back off because they will be worried about legal action. At the very least they will email you to tell you it's fine and then you can show it to your boss. It should get the point across that you will report her without the hassle of a formal complaint.

 

[donnalou]

Oh dear it doesn't sound good. Are you planning on returning to work? If it was me I would go over your bosses head and speak to her boss, she can't treat you like that.

 

[elephant29]

Thanks everyone. It's good to get support! OH is great but my work angers him so he isnt always constructive with his suggestions.

I really wish we had an HR department but we dont so I have no one to complain to! I actually dont know what else to do now. I may issue a formal complaint and say I feel discriminated against!

When she 'talks to me' tomorrow I am going to tell her I feel she is being extremely unreasonable in expecting my pregnancy to be predictable in the slightest! Pregnancy is anything but predictable!

Any ideas on what else I can say to her to get my point across, baring in mind she is very 80's power woman!!

xxx

 

[elephant29]

Oh dear it doesn't sound good. Are you planning on returning to work? If it was me I would go over your bosses head and speak to her boss, she can't treat you like that.

I was planning on going back but to be honest I know exactl how they will treat me and I will have 2 under 2 and God forbid I should need to take time of to be with either of my children!!

xxx