Working mamas

[northern_me]

This is more of a rant/looking for someone going through the same thing. Anyone else out there working 40+hrs a week outside of the house and coming home to take care of another child? How are you coping? How are you making it work through this pregnancy? Housework is slipping, trying to squeeze in meals and laundry and homework and everything else is getting to me. I had to take my DD out of swimming lessons because I just couldn't do it.


I am exhausted. I don't sleep and I feel like every second of my day is taken up by someone else. This pregnancy is so much harder than my first just for this reason alone.

*just want to make it known that I'm not implying that SAHMs aren't struggling either. I've been both and I know that each comes with it's own set of challenges*

 

[tulip1975]

Oh, wow - I'm exhausted just reading this. It sounds like you are doing this all on your own. You need help!

I'm not in the same boat (I do work full-time plus at a very stressful job, but I don't have other children). But I just wanted to offer some moral support. It's ok if the housework slips. You can't be and do everything at once.

Hugs!

 

[kiwilove]

I think the majority of working women with children already are going through the same thing you are. This is my first take home baby so I dont have any little ones running around, and I found myself already wondering how the h*ll im going to do it when #2 is on the way. With the fatigue, I have no energy to take care of the house, I get no help from DH in the house cleaning. Luckily my hours dropped dramatically when I got pregnant, I couldnt imagine working my normal 60-80 hours a week in first trimester. My energy is up much higher now, but I suffer from back ache from this pregnancy that it takes me so long to do a simple task
I guess just enjoy second trimester while your here, because I cant see it getting better in the last trimester.

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

I'm in the same boat. It's rough. The house work has definitely been our weak point, DH has picked up a little but I don't feel I can nag him to clean to the same extent I would if I wasn't pregnant. DS is starting to misbehave again too, the same thing happened last year around this time... I think he gets too excited with all the Christmas stuff and he gets frustrated it's still so far away.

Anyway, I feel ya. It's hard but we will get through

It was a good idea to drop the swimming for now. I don't take on anything if I can avoid it, even having someone over for dinner or bringing something to a potluck- it won't be homemade! It's take out for sure

 

[Julesillini8]

Since you are working and making money, would you consider maid service once a month? They could do the big things, a thorough clean of the bathrooms and kitchen, then just vacuuming, sweeping, wiping up could get you by the rest of the time.... It wouldn't be THAT expensive if its once monthly for these few months....
Just a suggestion to think about for a minute.

 

[katestar53]

I feel your pain, its bloody hard isnt it!! Im also suffering from severe pain from my tummy muscles tearing too far so housework has gone out of the window completely!

 

[dom85]

I only work 4 days a week and I'm finding it hard to keep on top of everything so no idea how i would do it if I were working full time.

My little boy started school in September and since then I've felt like his school schedule along with parties and projects have really taken up a lot of after school time and our evenings just feel rushed in the week now and I can't get much done around the house on a school night until he goes to bed and then I'm just too exhausted.

My OH has been good about doing a little bit more around the house but he never quite does anything to the extent that I would do it and he works odd shifts as well so it can be difficult for him to fit things in too.

I must admit, even though I am only working 4 days a week I am considering hiring a cleaner every other week for deep cleaning type stuff.

 

[george83]

I was the same when I was pregnant with ds2 I was working pretty much 11/12 hours a day 4 days a week with a slightly earlier finish one day a week. I found it really hard but just had to get into routines as much as possible. My oh is use less and doesn't help with the jobs around the house but he would watch ds1 while I cooked/ironed at the weekend etc. I'm now part time and expecting baby number 3 but my weekends and working days are still just as manic - I still do 12 hour days and then come home to get stuff ready for 2 kids instead of 1.

I'm looking forward to the days of my kids being the same age as their cousins are now as my sister takes them home and they sort their own stuff out at night!

 

[misspriss]

I am almost in the same boat, I recently went from working outside the house 40 hours a week to working from home 40 hours a week, it really isn't any better. My working from home hours are worse because the company is in a different time zone, so I get off work 1.5 hours or less before DS's bedtime, which means dinner is a huge rush, then it's straight off to bed. By the time I get him to sleep, I usually have about an hour to do "me" stuff, if I don't crash from exhaustion and fall asleep with DS, which has happened all week, because the insomnia has kept me up half the night. I used to get up early enough to do stuff in the AM, but DS has been sleeping later and I need my sleep so I have pretty much no time between sleep, eating, and work. I also only get a half hour lunch, so no time to fix anything healthy. I'm not eating well, DS is not eating well enough, and DH and I are fighting a lot because I feel like I do all the DS stuff, and work, and he just sleeps in and works. He started a new job this week too, so the stress level is off the charts.

 

[starsunshine]

I am a teacher working on average 55-60 hours per week and have a 4yo to run around after. My hubby also works long hours. I feel guilty all the time but the tablet is my best friend! Keeps the lo happy and I get a rest when I really need it.

 

[luz]

I work full time, and i'm gone from 7 am until 4:30 pm. by the time i get home we have enough time to eat dinner, bathe the kids (3 and 1) and put them to bed. Honestly a lot of house work doesn't get done or only gets done once or twice a week. I do most of my cleaning on saturdays when i am home all day. My husband and i take turns doing the dishes and cooking dinner, that really helps me feel less overwhelmed. He also does the laundry (but he only works 2 days a week so he has time for that).

don't think your house has to look like its out of a catalog or on pinterest. a lot of nights we go to bed with the sink full of dishes and toys scattered all over the floor. But at least we have happy kids.

Another thought, are your kids old enough to help? my oldest just turned 3 and he loves helping me clean. I will give him wipes and he goes to town wiping down knobs and drawers while i sweep or clean the bathrooms. He also really likes helping me scrub the toilet, vacuum, and load the dishwasher. If your husband works full time, perhaps you could take a saturday and make a bunch of freezer meals? that way when you get home all you have to do is heat them up, or throw it in the crock pot before you leave for work in the morning. I know it is hard and so overwhelming, but just remember it's a phase of life that will soon pass, and some day you will wish you could have these days back again. Enjoy your precious little ones.

 

[Cattia]

I also work five days a week and have two children. My DD started school this year and there is always reading to do, stuff she needs to have ready to take in, parents meetings to go to etc. I find the mornings hardest. We have to all be out the house by 7.30 dressed, breakfast eaten, bags packed for drop off with the childminder who does the school run. As I'm a teacher I also have work to bring home in the evening. House work definitely takes a back seat! We have a cleaner once a fortnight. We honestly can't really afford it but the house would never get dealt with otherwise. You can't do everything and housework comes bottom of my list. As long as my kids are happy, it doesn't matter if the house is a mess. When I go back to work after having this baby I am going to try to look for someone who can come in and get the kids ready here as I can't see myself ever getting to work with three kids!

 

[Juniperjan]

I find it hard too. I work 4 days a week from 8am to 5pm. Get home around 5.45pm having picked up my little girl from nursery. Then it's straight into dinner preparation with Lucy clinging onto my legs! Housework is done to a minimal standard. Better if I know someone is visiting as I'll make more of an effort!

I'm just tired to make it work better yet I feel guilty most of the time that I'm not more on top of things.......

 

[northern_me]

Thanks ladies, it is nice to hear that other people are dealing with the same thing. I'm made to feel that I'm lazy because I don't get it all done all of the time(by my mom, not OH). Drives me crazy but it's hard to get it all done.

I'm dealing with tons of pelvic/hip pain and can't sleep at all due to it so I'm running on about an hour of broken sleep every night. It's just impossible.

Mornings are terrible. By the time I get DD dropped off to school and sit back down in my car, I'm done for the day, only to face on a 8hr work day and whatever else happens that evening.

 

[misspriss]

My house is a mess. We keep dishes and laundry done enough to eat and clothe ourselves....aside from that...it's a toss up if it gets done or not.

 

[StillPraying]

ooooooohhhhh I feel you! DH and I are both in the military but his work is about a 45 min drive from our house so I almost always have to drop off/pick up DD (almost 3) at daycare every day, then dealing with work and military crap all day 5 days a week. I get home and it's the dog, cat, toddler, housework, meals, laundry, and Christmas stuff. On top of that? We're moving the first week of January so we're also packing our house. I cant sleep, so I cant wake up in the morning, so then of course I'm rushing because I'm late, cant remember anything because I'm pregnant I need a break And DH....yeah we wont go there lol.