Worried about high BMI..

[Mummafrog]

Hello Ladies, I could use some reassurance..

I got a strong positive Friday morning, making me 5 weeks +2 today and me and OH are just ecstatic We were not ttc but it wasn't much of a surprise either hehe.

I'm so happy to be pregnant and I've wanted it for so long.. the thing is I was not planning to get pregnant until I had lost some weight, I think my BMI is somewhere around 37.. I'm 5"6' and a size 18-20.
I just read the NHS page about being overweight and pregnant and it was very scary, even though I knew the information on the page seeing it all laid out just made me feel like this is not going to be easy..

I'm worried that my weight will be the main focus of my antenatal care and the Midwives etc will just go on about it and that's all I will be able to think about..

Also I have always dreamt of a home birth and I'm scared they will be very unsupportive because of my weight.
Has anyone else had a homebirth and been overweight? Did you have to have a private Midwife?

Thanks for reading, looking forward to hearing your experiences

 

[Bumblebee2408]

Hi Mummafrog,

I have no words of advice but I feel the same I am currently 4w + 6 days pregnant and I am too 5"6 and a size 18-20. I know they will go on at us but tbh as long as I have a healthy baby at the end of it i'm happy. Right now I'm just concentrating on healthy eating from here as this isn't the time to try and loose any weight.

Congratulations by the way xx

 

[Eternal]

If your BMI is over 30 then you will probably get more appointments or see a consultant, if it's over 45 then you are much higher risk again.

I think they will generally go on how active and healthy you are, if your not very active then they will probably discourage home birth, if you are and no problems arise other than a high BMI then you should be ok for a home birth.

 

[Mummafrog]

Bumblebee - It's just as reassuring to hear from someone in the same boat, thanks for replying hunny.. Yes you're right, all that matters in the end is a healthy, happy babe

Yeah healthy eating and I want to start doing pregnancy yoga and walking/swimming more regularly, all activities I enjoy and they will help.

Congratulations to you too! Have you had much symptoms yet? xx

 

[Mummafrog]

Eternal - Thank you for response, my BMI definitely isn't over 45 and yes that is what I was thinking.. mention that I am considering home birth and making sure I am healthy throughout and hopefully if no complications arise then I can opt for that

 

[Eternal]

Eternal - Thank you for response, my BMI definitely isn't over 45 and yes that is what I was thinking.. mention that I am considering home birth and making sure I am healthy throughout and hopefully if no complications arise then I can opt for that

I'm not sure what all the guidelines are, but the ladies in natural birthing section can advice you, I'd love one but this will be either a repeat c section or VBAC.

 

[Mummafrog]

I'm not sure what all the guidelines are, but the ladies in natural birthing section can advice you, I'd love one but this will be either a repeat c section or VBAC.[/QUOTE]

Yes, thank you I was thinking of posting there too.

Oh I see.. well I know that it is possible to have a VBAC at home.. but I assume your situation is complex if you already think it is possible for you to have another c section :/ Sorry to hear that and wishing you luck and light at least you'll bring a precious new bundle home with you

 

[tublet]

Hi I'm 31 weeks not and have a bmi of 36, I worried myself so much at the beginning over reading the NHS website but honestly I have had a very straight forward pregnancy with no complications.

My trust makes anyone with a bmi over 30 be joint midwife and consultant care, but I have only 1 appointment with a doctor at 30 weeks and she was lovely. Everything has been the normal midwife led route. I did have a gestational diabetes test and passed with no issues and have just done lots of walking and watched my diet. I am now stone down from my first midwife appointment and feel great!

Don't worry - everyone has been really nice!

 

[Eternal]

I'm not sure what all the guidelines are, but the ladies in natural birthing section can advice you, I'd love one but this will be either a repeat c section or VBAC.

Yes, thank you I was thinking of posting there too.

Oh I see.. well I know that it is possible to have a VBAC at home.. but I assume your situation is complex if you already think it is possible for you to have another c section :/ Sorry to hear that and wishing you luck and light at least you'll bring a precious new bundle home with you [/QUOTE]

No not really, I'm think repeat because my MW was forcefully telling me it was unsafe to even have a midwife led birth, and this is my last baby (if it sticks) so I want to be sterilised so seen as I can't get the birth I want I'd prefer section. The hospital if need to give in is horrible, when I was in the maternity ward the labour was was too busy and people were delivering on the ward behind curtains. I really don't want that.

I know it sounds to extremes, but I either want midwife led water birth or home water birth or section, but will depend on what complications arise because I seem to stock pile complications, lol.

I know I can insist, but I want it to be safe and in every pregnancy thus far when I was encouraged to do something I didn't want to do it worked out the safest option and if I'd done it my way it may have been dire. So we will wait and see.

The natural section would be More than happy to answer your questions I'm sure.

 

[Erised]

This is my 4th pregnancy (though 1 was an early miscarriage), for all of them I've been overweight and have had a BMI of 36.

Honestly, they don't make as big a deal over it as you'd think. All my midwives have been lovely, non have brought my weight up in a negative way at all (in fact, the only time it got brought up was my midwife with DD2 saying how utterly ridiculous the whole BMI thing was and that I looked amazing ).

With my first I went through the NHS system until 20 weeks, then went over onto Dutch health care instead as I planned on giving birth in Holland. My whole pregnancy went without complications and the only things that made it different were having to take a diabetes test and getting some extra growth scans. I ended up with a hospital birth, as my bedroom wasn't big enough for a home birth and I got referred in anyway for 'failure to progress'. I was put on a drip to speed up my contractions, had an episiotomy but completely med free labour apart from that. Truthfully, I hated it. It had me feeling horrible (due to blood loss) for weeks after and looking back now and having discussed it with other midwives since, it was very much a hospital approach and an impatient midwife (get her out quick).

My second pregnancy and labour were fully in England, and it was fantastic.
I went with a company called One-to-One midwives, they're 'private' midwives in the way that they'll try and have 1 midwife accompany you during all of your pregnancy and labour and they're a privately run company, BUT they're NHS funded.

I had an early scan due to PCOS and not knowing exactly how far along I was, my normal 12 week scan, 20 week scan and an appointment with a consultant in hospital to talk over some blood clotting issues I've had in the past. Now I've been given the all clear on that my midwife actually said I may as well refuse the appointment in any future pregnancies as all they do is try and talk you out of your birth choices. I had a gestational diabetes test again, which came back perfect again and some extra growth scans later on in pregnancy to make sure baby wouldn't be too big (which she wasn't).

I planned and did have a home birth, completely supported by my midwife. I had a pool as well as I could have had a waterbirth, but didn't use it. My midwife did say that the NHS tends to be funny about waterbirths if you're 'obese' as due to health and safety they're not allowed to lift you out of the water if something went wrong. One-to-One allowed, and encouraged, them but hospital and birthing centres around here wouldn't allow it.

I gave birth to my beautiful 7lbs girly at home, in my own bathroom with just 1 midwife by my side (was supposed to be 2 but things went a bit quicker than expected in the end) at 41+6. My midwife was completely supportive of me refusing induction as well and would have allowed me to go over 42 weeks =)

Stand your ground, put your foot down and you can have every birth right that you want to have.

 

[Mummafrog]

Eternal - I wish you all the luck with this pregnancy and I really hope you have a beautiful birth experience, whatever you need to feel safe and comfortable then you deserve that and it will make it easier on the baby if you are not stressed out in an environment you're not happy with. Early days yet, of course, so we'll see how things go eh? Lots of hugs

Erised - I really appreciate you taking the time to write your response.. it's very reassuring to read. In my heart it is not so much that I am worried that things will go wrong and more that I don't want to have to be battling with the people providing my care because of my weight, you know? It's amazing to hear you had such a supportive Midwife.
I think I would feel quite a lot more nervous about birth if I couldn't have a pool, water has always been a source of comfort to me and I think it would help me so much, I just need to find a Midwife who will understand that..

Can I ask about this one-to-one service? Have you ever had a private Midwife?

Thanks so much and congratulations on your previous healthy bubbas and this new pregnancy! How far along are you?

 

[Erised]

One-to-One Midwives are on the Wirral, and I think they've recently spread to Liverpool and possibly Chester as well. Basically they're a privately run company, but the NHS pays for your treatment and you don't need to pay for it out of your own pocket like you would with a fully private midwife.

You get assigned a midwife who will try to stick with you through out your whole pregnancy and be there for the birth. Every appointment you have will be with her (unlike the normal NHS appointments here, where you have a different midwife each time), and they'll come to your house for visits at times that are most convenient for you.

Their aim is to get women to feel more comfortable with giving birth, and they try to encourage home births where possible. They try to fully support you in your wants when it comes to giving birth and the lead up to it. They're open to basically anything from things like moxibustion to turn a late turner to refusing all treatment and option for a c-section. If it's what *you* want after talking to them, they'll support you.

I loved my previous journey with them, hoping to do so again this time =)
I'm not sure how far along I am due to PCOS. I'm somewhere between 8 and 13 weeks, I'm thinking close to 9 myself. I've got my midwife (Rachel) coming over tomorrow for the first time to meet her, and she said on the phone she'll book me in for a scan as soon as possible, probably this week coming, to get an accurate due date.

 

[missmousemum2]

Hey ladies. I'm a good bit heavier than you. My bmi was around 44 when I had my son 3 years ago. I had 1 consultant appointment which to be honest did leave me feeling guilty and like a bad parent before I even started as she did go on a bit about it. Never saw her again though and had a thoroughly trouble free pregnancy.

I had a gestational diabetes test which came back clear and had to have an appointment with the anaesthetist in case I needed an epidural (apparently it cant always be done on larger ladies!?) Again that was fine and there was literally no other reference made about my weight for my entire pregnancy/ labour.

Please don't stress about it. Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. X

 

[Mummafrog]

Erised - Thank you for the information on the one-to-one service Sadly I don't think they will cover my area but I will find a good Midwife who supports my desires. Ooh not sure where you are, that must be strange! Well the scan will be really nice to find out how big baby is, let us know won't you

Tublet and Missmousemum - I really appreciate your messages, I'm feeling so much more confident about my antenatal care now. My fear partly came from when I was at the doctors about a year ago (about something else) and the doc just went on about it and it made me cry.. just a horrible feeling. It helps to know I will be able to enjoy my appointments without that being a constant focus

Missmouse - Re the epidurals: it is more difficult because of excess fat on the back, around the spine and where they need to insert the tube, basically it can be harder for them to be precise and therefore more dangerous, so they probably just needed to check.
So pleased to hear your story Are you pregnant again? How far are you?

Love to all you mummas and your little beans and bubbas!

 

[missmousemum2]

Yeah mummafrog, I know that's the reason but if they could manage an epidural on me, and they did!) they must be able to manage on anyone! !!

Yip pregnant again. 9 weeks tomorrow. Consultant appointment in 2 weeks and a little apprehensive as that was the only negative experience I had last time.

 

[Bumblebee2408]

Hi mummafrog,

Symptoms...... Well so far fatigue, sore breasts and some very slight cramps but on and off and random, how about u anything yet? Xx

 

[Teeny]

I had similar BMI to u with my dd.

u wil automatically become high risk any be put under a consultant and give. the tests for gestational diabetes.

I had a supportive midwife but I had to make a special appointment to see if the midwife unit would accept me.
the day I had the app lo was confirmed as breech and I knew it was the nail in my coffin for any midwife birth.

it's not what I wanted but it's best u prepare ur self for it xxx

 

[LadySekhmetDJ]

I'm sure you've gotten quite a few reassurances from the ladies. I know someone that was morbid obese, I couldn't even tell that she was pregnant at 9 months. She had a very healthy pregnancy and gained a proper amount of weight. Good C-section (I'm not sure why, but she had a previous C-section, and at the same time she had her tubes tied since this was her 4th), etc. No issues whatsoever.

As others mentioned - just keep an eye on gestational diabetes (it can happen to thinner folks as well - happened to a thinner friend of mine...twice!). You can interview your midwives, if you don't feel comfortable, then search for another. It's YOUR body, it's YOUR baby's birth. I also believe that if you do the water birth thing, it WILL help relieve a lot of pain because it'll practically lift the weight off your joints and muscles making the birth easier to deal with. I don't know where you live, but I think there are such hospitals that provide water births as well as doctors that also does water births (from my area, there's only ONE doctor that does this, and he's booked easily, so if you want a doctor, you'll need to book early).

What CAN help you is to do some legs exercises (Abductors/Adductors are excellent to get your muscles strong for pushing!), and tell yourself to walk a mile (roughly 15-20 minutes) everyday. And you'll be stronger and your body will recover quicker post-birth.

I wish you BEST of luck and enjoy your pregnancy!!

 

[vickytoria88]

I've not read all the posts but here's my experience. My last pregnancy I was over weight and my BMI was high well 31 or something, will be higher this time as haven't lost baby weight from my daughter. They only ever weighed me on my first appointment, referred me for a glucose tolerance test at 18 weeks I think it was and that was all that was ever mentioned about my weight. Don't get strung up on it, at the end of the day they are only saying and doing what is best for you and you little baby. Best of luck

 

[Erised]

I was told they'd make an appointment for me to see someone about whether or not I could have an epidural, but in neither of my pregnancies was such an appointment actually made. Odd.

In other news, I found baby's heartbeat on a doppler yesterday!! BMI of 36 and somewhere between 8 & 13 weeks pregnant (thinking 9 weeks, but to be confirmed soon) ... not bad going! =D