Worrying - please dont judge

[Mumof42009]

Hi
This is my 4th bubs and was very shocked when got as i had been told couldnt have anymore, my oh was 100% he didnt want the baby so i told him if this was the case i would go it alone as been there before. He dont live with me so i pretty much bring the kids up on my own,he has come round a bit but i know his single life he leads will always get in the way. Ive speaking to him about moving in with me but he dont seem at all bothered ive had my doubts bout if i want the baby but after seeing my scans and the fight my bubs has put up already theres no way i would do anything just to keep my oh happy that might sound really bad but thats how i feel.

 

[colsy]

Oh god, yeah, I think about it all the time. And I'm guessing I'm probably a lot older than you, and therefore (according to the science of biology) a lot more mature or "grown-up" ... ha, as if! Seriously, I would guess that almost everyone feels like this at least some of the time while they're pregnant. Maybe I think about it for different reasons than you (like, I don't worry about OH wanting to spend nights out drinking with the boys, cos he doesn't do that these days - see, I told you we were really ancient!), but I really worry sometimes that I won't be able to go travelling like we used to (we do a lot of independent travel, just packing up our backpacks and heading off into the sunset on a train to Europe, seeing where we end up) and even that I won't be able to entertain like we used to (we do a lot of parties and dinners with friends, and I LOVE looking after people and feeding and watering them).

But then I look at my friends with kids, and I see that they still do interesting things. They still have friends to stay, and those who want to still go camping or travelling, and generally most of them are very happy with their lives.

So, I would say that in the end everything generally works out just fine, and at the moment it's fear of the unknown that makes us scared and panic.

HTH a bit. xx

 

[nuttymummy]

awwww chick, its totally normal to feel like this, i was worried in my first pregnancy....he was planned, just not so soon as we thought!! u will always wonder if its the right thing, everyone sometime or other has had these feelings.

But about the OH problem......its abit more complex!!! hes missed out on his nights out here with being in the army, and is used to having almost a 'single' life as he doesnt get to see you much. Men and their nights out are hard to pry apart! but saying that...i have a OH who never goes out. if we do go out, we go out together. the only time he goes out with sumone else is at xmas work parties. but thats the way we like it, we just like spending time together.
Jay might be trying to get as many nights out in as possible before LO arrives! because he's prepared to settle down n do his fair share. U should deffo talk to him though (but sometimes its hard to say what u want......i find it easier sending an e-mail or even writing a note!) at least he'll know how u feel, and maybe make him realise u need more support.

good luck hun,im sure everything will be fine.

 

[djgirl1976]

Of course most everyone worries! Honestly, even though we weren't actively TTC, we both knew we would be within a year or so, when I got BFP, I started shaking and nearly dropped the test! I proceeded to cry and stress and barely got to sleep that night. DH didn't seem to worry much at all. We are totally able to do this. No reason we can't-we have a home, jobs, cars, enough money for what we need and at least the simpler things we want in life, so there's nothing to worry about, yet I do. I keep reminding myself how many very young girls, single parents, even brothers and sisters are out there taking care of babies and it helps me know I will be fine. When it seems like you have no idea how you will handle it, like all my friends with kids say, you just "figure it out...you just do it". Even if it is scary, you will figure it out, and worrying just means you care

 

[duffers]

It sounds like yoe have a lot of company here hon, me included. Having a baby seems like such a massive life change and I was worrying to my mum about it the otehr day. She said, one bubs is here you'll wonder how you ever managed without this precious thing you would do anything for.

xx

 

[Waiting4Baby]

Of course I think about whether or not it's the right time, but as my mom told me when we thought we were pregnant before, there's ALWAYS going to be a better time (or at least you think so).

And I thought that I was going to be a horrible mom just because grease from my meatloaf spilled onto the bottom of the oven. We're women, and new moms, and pregnant... of course we worry!! It's just in our nature to do so.