would this bother you

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by missjaime, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. missjaime

    missjaime Well-Known Member

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    im not overly bothered as i dont believe in special treatment during pregnancy but im now 35 weeks. i still have two weeks of work left because i only have 3 weeks worth of holiday pay. i can just handle lasting another week i think even though im starting to have alot of pain in my groin and walking is not fun anymore. my job involves no sitting down and constant moving and i still work 22 hours.

    my issue is that my hubby is on good money. we have plenty saved away. yet hes not picking up on the hints that i would like to give up work this sunday not next sunday because its getting hard. (wouldnt be a problem if i had a sitting job). hes started this new stupid diet (im a personal trainer so i no its stupid) and hes spending stupid amounts of money on protein powder and other suppliments that he doesnt need. hes started to spend an extra $80(nz dollars) a week on fricken red meat and im serious he goes through 30 eggs a week now, so he doesnt need the protein powder if hes having it all through meat and eggs. so a week hes spending an extra $200(nz$) on himself while i have to continue working to cover rent.

    im sore, and very tired since he (again im serious) snores every night. luckily he goes to work at 2 in the morning so i can get some sleep then but i still wake up at 4 to go to the loo or because of cramp in my legs, then get up to get my son to school then i go to work. finish work and go pick up our son sort him out till 7 and get him to bed then hubby goes to bed at 8 and im stuck again up till 2am before i get sleep

    he does have a doc appointment today because ive told him sort the snoring or move into another room

    in conclusion (lol) would you be pissed or bothered if you were completely drained from extreme lack of sleep and had to continue working so your hubby can waste money
     
  2. Heather9603

    Heather9603 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I would be pretty PO'd. And I think at that point, I'd just say that I'm going to leave work a week early because its getting too hard. If he gives much fuss, tell him its not just that its hard on you, its hard on the BABY too.

    And if he starts more of a fuss, I'd tell him to cram it. most guys don't dare cross a pregnant woman :haha:
     
  3. missjaime

    missjaime Well-Known Member

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    thanks
    i said last night i wish i could give work up on sun and he said why dont you and i replied because i only have 3 weeks worth of pay so there would be one week were i have no money coming it so he said well whats another week really. pfft

    i also failed to mention i have a cracked rib and what feels like a constantly pulled calf muscle due to nightly leg cramps
     
  4. kimber89

    kimber89 Guest

    i woudl be really annoyed. i 28 weeks and have no children to look after so god only knows how you feel with working aswell! thats too much on you and the baby you should be taking this time to relax for newborn arrives! you need to tell him that you are leaving a week early as your too tired to do it and not feeling the best. you are a team and he needs to understand how you feel and act on your feelings. after all it isnt him that has gone through the hole pregnancy. imagine men trying to cope they would leave work straight away! i wish they could know what its like!!
    maybe also try talking to him about all the money he is wasting!
    good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
     
  5. missjaime

    missjaime Well-Known Member

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    iv spoken to him about the money thing and i told him not to talk about his joke of a diet/exercise plan. he had the nerve before to say he might buy the wrist bands that help with muscle recovery or growth or something. ive heard of them but think they are bullshit so just told him to shut it or il stop working tomorrow since he thinks money grows on trees.

    geez imagine if guys were the pregnant ones youd have to send them away so you wouldnt hear them complain all day
     
  6. Apen2009

    Apen2009 Well-Known Member

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    I would just let him know that you were going to stop working at this point. Problem solved :) It's your job, it's your body, it's your pregnancy. .
     
  7. sinead266

    sinead266 Mother of 5

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    i would just tell him im leaving a week early and if he mentioned money i would bring up his stupid diet, and the fact that yours and baby's health are more important.
     
  8. CamoQueen

    CamoQueen Mom of 2 & 1 on the way!

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    Have you considered sitting down with him and drawing up a budget? That way you can work around the missing week of pay and you can put a limit on how much diet-related stuff he buys every month, so he's not just going off the rails completely.

    If I were you, I'd stop sooner rather than later because you seem really uncomfortable.
     
  9. missjaime

    missjaime Well-Known Member

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    theres no budget to worry about as we have plenty of money put aside. hes just being a tool about it. and as for the diet theres not rails to fall off since its muscle hes tryin to put on which is why hes on a protein power trip. told him im going to stop working and that if he continues on this stupid "diet" he will burn out by the time baby is due and if thats the case il get mum to be my support person when i go into labour since hes diabetic aswell hel burn out faster. im tryin the tough love thing since he doesnt seem to process anything i say unless there are negitive consequences on his behalf
     
  10. PAgal

    PAgal Well-Known Member

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    He is clearly being insensitive, I would be pissed!... but one thing I can tell you confidently after working with 99% men for the past 15 years is that they (generally, meaning most of them, not all) really ARE clueless. There are things that we feel don't need said or pointed out (because we would pick up on them in a minute!), like the things he's doing right now, so we don't actually sit down with our OH's and explain it all. After all, it would all be so obvious to us!! But in reality, your OH just probably needs you to do this--because he just doesn't see what you see. In other words, he needs a kick in the ass, a wake-up call! So I suggest talking to him about it, because not talking about it just leads to a bunch of resentment being built up to the point where you both are miserable.

    Even after all this time, I still tend to assume my OH is just being an a$$hole sometimes and intentionallly avoiding the obvious, but after I talk to him about it I'm usually amazed at how clueless he really was! I think men by default think primarily of themselves (again, generally speaking!), so just need opened up to the reality that they aren't the only person in the relationship:)

    Good luck!! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em, I swear!
     
  11. cyanidepill

    cyanidepill Well-Known Member

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    If work is getting too much for you then you have to put your health and well being first. Personally I would stop work as soon as I felt I wasn't coping - especially if you're working 22 hours and on your feet all the time. It has to be tiring, and lets face it, pregnancy is exhausting at the best of times.

    I would say don't wait for OH to pick up hints - because men aren't great at that, and just tell him you're finishing work this Sunday because it's getting too much. xx
     
  12. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    since u r married and carrying his baby (or has he forgotten the babys his too?) he should support your decision to come out of work earlier. Money shouldnt even be an issue, u know u have savings and thats what they r for times like maternity leave, u didnt plan to feel really crappy it just happens. I'd be inclined to just inform work that sunday is the last day and then not go monday morning, c how long it takes DH to notice :haha: then just tell him on shopping day 'oh by the way u r covering the groceries this week' what choice will he have? Hope u feel better soon and hope u talk your hubby out of that weird diet surely all that protein can have a negative effect on the body too? :shrug: men! Strange, strange species!
     
  13. RaspberryK

    RaspberryK Well-Known Member

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    I see so many posts about hubbies behaving like this, they just don't understand. If he can afford to buy these stupid diet things then he can afford to "let you" have an extra week off.

    x
     
  14. missjaime

    missjaime Well-Known Member

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    AUGH SEE NOW WHY CANT ALL MEN BE LIKE US SENSIBLE LADIES lol

    thanks everyone that replied your all thinking the same as me had work today so told the boss to pull me from the roster so shes covered them and told me to claim sick pay since i still have some hiding away the rest he can cover
     
  15. CandyApple19

    CandyApple19 Pregnant with #3, PAL.

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    If you are beginning to PHYSICALLY struggle with this pregnancy i think you need to stop working now before you start causing damage trying to over do it, if he wants to drop hints, let him, i think you've done amazingly working up til now in a job thats so tiring and putting up with his snoring! *big hugs* I'd quit this week rather than keep going, it just seems like the sensible thing to do, clearly your body is struggling.
     
  16. leahsbabybump

    leahsbabybump Mummy to 3

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    Yes i would be going nuts :-/ my OH smoked and expected me to pay more more money into bills etc so he had money for fags each week that didnt wash with me at all and i told him if he wants to continue flushing his money down the drain he did it with his own disposable income not the incomemeant for the family. (we both have £45 a week out of wage MA etc etc to spend on what we like after bills are paid) needless to say he quit three days later when he realised he had no money to spend on his fish tank or clothes etc etc lol
    put ya foot down girl i dont know in value how much $200 as im in england but it suns a hell of a lot to be spending a week :-/
     
  17. kiwi16

    kiwi16 1st trimester

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    Id just tell him you feel like you cant carry on working any longer as your so uncomfy, i used to come home and fall straight to sleep i found it so tiring, made a few mistakes at work too, and fainted once as i was just too tired to function properly. I ended up feeling sorry for the people who had to work with me. I think you've done well to continue working until now i left at 32 weeks as i just couldn't take any more, mine was also a job where i was on my feet all day.
     

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