Would this upset you?

[babyzoe]

When my DH and I are on our vacation later this month, my MIL has agreed to come down and cat sit. I'm happy about it bc it saves us money from having to hire a service. So, she'll get to stay near the nation's capitol, see the sites and visit her friends. Just a week or two ago, though, DH tells me that his uncle and aunt are also staying in our place to keep his mom company. It wasn't in the form of a question. I was kind of ticked off that he never even asked me how I felt about it, but what's more, I find out that the plan is for this guy -- that I've only met once in my entire life -- and his wife are for them to sleep in our bed for the entire week. When I asked why MIL can't sleep in our bed instead and to give the other in-laws an air mattress, it comes out that he's too large for an air mattress and would likely pop it. Awesome. So now I have this "large" man whom I don't know very well, sleeping on my expensive mattress with pillow top, specifically designed to conform to your body. All I can think about is this stranger sweating in his sleep (as we all do) and having the sweat seep through the sheets and into my mattress. Or worse, having a huge permanent divet in my side of the bed (I'm not being unrealistic about this, when we rotated the mattress last year, DH made a divet and for six months I kept rolling into the center of the mattress because of it).

Ugh! So anyway, regardless of the size of the person or how much the person sweats in their sleep, am I the only one irked by this. Would you feel comfortable with someone you barely know sleeping in your bed? My DH and MIL (go figure) think I'm being unreasonable. "It's just a bed" they say and "you sleep in hotel beds" they say. Yes, hotel beds are one thing...but this is MY bed. That I paid for. I feel like I should have at least been brought into the conversation and asked how I felt about it. Versus being told my bed would be opened up to the public in my absence.

 

[comotion89]

honestly wouldn't bother me, it's a mattress lol flip it over and wash the sheets , when mum had guests over they always had the beds although sex in my bed would bother me slightly

 

[kassiaethne]

nah wouldn't bug me. it's family and it's not like you'd really say no to family staying unless there was a really good reason usually. (such as family falling out and such) and I plan on giving my bed to his family and mine when they come to see the baby when he's born and sleeping in the baby's room. if you really don't like sharing the mattress I'd flip it so they sleep on the other side.

on the other hand, being as you won't be home, I'd be hidding all the sex toys and such realllllllllllly well because family is nosy and you know they will be looking through draws out of curiosity. lol

 

[lovetocruise]

Yes, that would definitely bother me! Its your house, and your bed, you have every right to be irked that nobody even thought to ask you.

And as for the suggestions to flip it over, I don't think she can because its a pillow top, is that correct?

I am very particular about my bed and my house so I would not be very happy that someone I barely know is staying over to begin with.

 

[babyzoe]

lovetocruise, you're right. It's a pillow top so it can't be flipped over...unless you're enjoy sleeping on bare wood. haha. the only way it can be rotated is to put your head where your feet used to go and vice versa.

and i mean, if this was someone I knew, like my MIL or SIL or w/e then that would be different. i've given up my bed for DHs parents before...but we're talking about someone I've only met once....and i've gotten bad vibes due to the overwhelmingly negative stories about them (they're selfish, their children are spoiled, etc etc etc etc.) so why they're fighting to let these people stay in our house is beyond me. they didn't even come to our wedding because "they don't travel"...so how the heck are they getting down to our place in the first place?!!?

haha...i'm starting to feel better just venting, but seriously though, it does irk me..the only thing I can do is wrap my bed in plastic and buy some cheap sheets and cheap pillows for them to use.

 

[Symphony7]

I'm weird about my house and space as well. I really don't want anyone sleeping in my bad, it just skeezes me out. I also just don't like people in my house in general, as they always seem to bring an inordinate amount of mess. Especially the SO's family...and my mom, who is currently living with us and her mess is starting to give me a stomach ulcer. But that's just how I am. So yeah, it would irk me. But then if I had a cat I would just have a friend come over once a day to feed and clean the litter. We used to leave our cat for four or five days at a time with a huge bowl of food and water and a clean litter box or two and he was a happy clam. Never worried about him. Dogs on the other hand, I usually drop them at daycare, or I want them to go to someone's house. I suppose someone could stay at my house in the guest room, but it hasn't happened yet.

 

[callmedan]

yes this would majorly p*ss me off!!!!!
i would just say no, they are not staying and if they dont like it tough! you hardly know them for petes sake!

 

[Rachie004]

It would majorly upset me! I'm really sensitive about having people in our house because people are just so darn disrespectful of our belongings - I feel like they come in and go 'oh hey, you have a nice house with nice things, it doesn't matter if I trash them'. We had everyone back to our house after MIL's funeral and one of the walls needed repainting afterwards.. I could continue ranting about that but I won't.

Yes, I think you're well within your rights to feel upset, this person is essentially a stranger, it doesn't matter who he's married to!

 

[tverb84]

That would bother me and why does your oh's aunt and uncle have to stay at your house? It seems strange to me.

 

[wildworld]

I'm sorry (not) but that would piss me right off!! You have a right to know who's sleeping in YOUR bed, especially without even asking you. Tell DH you're not happy about it and won't be able to enjoy your holiday. Why does MIL even need company?! She'll have the cats and be able to go and see the sites and her friends.

Tell your DH that no, this guy can't stay, tough shit. You know what you should do? Blow up the air-mattress for MIL, lock your bedroom door, and take your key with you. DO not let DH treat you like a doormat right now, tell him they're not staying, end of.

good luck x

 

[melissa84]

Yes this would piss me off and also gross me out. Who knows how often they shower or if they're sick or something? You can always clean the sheets and blankets but still.

 

[Reidfidleir]

No. Just no. I wouldn't have that. I'm a relatively laid back person but ick!!!!!
And the fact that he didnt even bring it up as a question or discussion? That would bother me too. Unless he was just being a guy and "thought" he was trying to discuss it.
Idk. Ew. No. I wouldn't allow it.

 

[MariposaTam]

Yeah, that would piss me off too! And majorly gross me out. I am picky about my things too, they are mine!-you took the words/thoughts out of my mouth, as I read your post I checked them off and nodded in agreement to each lol. I'd be plastic waterproof matress covering and triple sheet covering my bed if I were you! Yuck!

Thankfully my OH was reading along with me and completely agreed with me-glad to know this won't be an issue at my house

 

[Eline]

I once had a bigger aunt stay over in my bed and it squeaked for months afterwards. I wouldn't be pleased either, but it's family, you can't do much about it I guess. Buy a protective cover for your bed and maybe ask if they can bring their own sheets?

 

[Varenne]

They should have ASKED!

It's common courtesy to respect other peoples homes as THEIR property. You ask about everything. I've known my inlaws for nearly 4 years and we're as close as blood family, but I still ask for things there rather than just taking...This is about people you don't know well STAYING in your house and bed, which is so much more of a big deal.

I think the bunch of them are rude as hell for assuming they could just do this without checking you're comfortable with it.

 

[Mrs HM]

OMG I would go absolutely crazy at this. TBH I would tell your MIL not to bother coming and pay for the cat sitter. The only alternative for me would be to buy another mattress! I am very fussy about my home and personal space though and make no apologies for it.

 

[babyzoe]

OMG...it gets worse! So I talked to DH about it yesterday. I was like..."I'm sorry but this really irks me and I can't just stay quiet about it and fume the entire time we are supposed to enjoying our vacation". weeeellll. It turns out...he didn't give permission either. Apparently, MIL was talking to her brother and one thing led to another and they were making plans to use our house. MIL apparently told him something along the lines of "oh, I'm sure they won't mind". WTF!!! So DH was like...I don't like it either but what can you do? Umm? Tell your mom "bad mom! no!" LOL. But seriously. Now this has become a matter of her inviting people to our house to stay in our bed while we're gone WITHOUT ASKING THE HOMEOWNERS!!! And I'm in this tough spot because I want the immediate family (not the uncle and aunt) to get together over the holidays so that we can (hopefully) announce our new pregnancy. So DH said I'd burn bridges and make that more difficult if I made a scene about this. But I'm sorry, this uncle never calls us, or facebooks us, or texts us. I've met this guy once and that's it. I just don't feel comfortable having someone come to our house for the first time and we aren't there. I don't know how he treats other people's stuff and I will never let DH or his MIL live it down if we get back and something is trashed/ruined/broken.

So, I've decided how I'll handle this and DH is not going to be happy about it. I will buy an air mattress and like two weeks before we leave mention to MIL that they'll be sleeping on the air mattress..when she gets huffy about it (and she will) I'll matter of factly mention how she invited people to my house without the common courtesy of asking me...so they will sleep where I tell them to sleep. Hopefully that will be enough to make uncle and aunt reconsider their decision to crash someone else's home.

What do you girls think? Too spiteful?

 

[Rachie004]

It's not even remotely spiteful - it's your house and your bed! I would be having a force five strop and telling them not to come at all if it was me so you're a far better person xx

Actually, how much will the new air matress cost? If it's more or the same as the cat sitting service then I would just tell them all not to come and use a service instead. I'm incensed for you! xx

 

[babyzoe]

Actually, how much will the new air matress cost? If it's more or the same as the cat sitting service then I would just tell them all not to come and use a service instead. I'm incensed for you! xx

Oh that was my first thought....I was so smug thinking DH would have to cough up the same amount for the air mattress as he would for the cat sitter (you know...cause that'll teach him to stand up for his wife every once in a while), but then I went on Amazon and saw them for super cheap...like...50 bucks, so . DH keeps saying it's gonna cost 400 bucks for a cat sitter, but when I did my research it doesn't exceed $150 so I don't know where he's getting these exorbitant numbers from. At this point, I'd really rather just have the cat sitter.

 

[Tammy77]

Go buy a couple of new litter pans, put out a bunch of bowls of food and water. Find a friend you trust to give a key and have them pop in every 3-4 days to make sure nothing crazy has happened. That's what we do an the cats are fine! They don't need people to chat with and play like dogs, at least not for that short of a time!

The argument for this is that IF you need to go out of town again and nobody is available, you will already have everything you need. Just wash and store the litter pans for next time.