Would you be irritated too, or is this my hormones?

[Momto4monkeys]

So...I'm due with baby number 5 this November. (21st)
But...for my boyfriend, this is his first baby, and it's his parents' first grandbaby. They are so excited, who can blame them? lol Babies are wonderful!

Boyfriend's Mom was already window shopping about what to get for baby.
Then today she texts her son (my BF) and says she's out, ,and she's probably going to buy a stroller/car seat travel system that she's looking at.

He and I are both like...
For one, in my opinion, it's too early for that! I am only 16 weeks!
And another, boyfriend and I were out looking around for styles we liked on the weekend, and boyfriend now sees that there are definitely certain features we like, and some we do not! There are some colours of strollers that I completely hated too! She won't even tell him about the set she's looking at!

I know she's super excited, but in my opinion it's a more personal purchase, it has to fit our needs and WE don't even know exactly what we want yet. He recommended that she buy diapers instead, but she's still adamant that she wants to buy the set. I told him to suggest maybe waiting until we know what we want, or wait until I'm 24 weeks or something!!

He told me that he told her not to buy it, but that she's not listening to him.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I just being a bit bitchy? lol

 

[Amy89]

I agree with you! Whilst its lovely that she wants to buy it for you, maybe she needs it to be pointed out that there are certain features that you want, and certain things you just don't like. Maybe just drop into conversation that you've seen something you liked but it didn't have adjustable handles, for example, so it's a no-go, or that you saw one you liked but not a fan of the colour, and that you don't want her or you to spend a large amount of money on something you don't like?
I don't think you're being at all bitchy, you're entitled to buy the things you like, and not the things you don't!

 

[Amygdala]

Nope, not bitchy, that would bother me as well. Especially the car seat, as I'd want to be sure I'd done my research and was getting the safest one. It's very generous of her to offer of course but completely not her place to force her choice on you.

 

[cazfay]

I am pretty new to all this, I'm 13 weeks so officially just arrived in 2nd tri But I have to say NO WAY. We have only just started to look at prams and things, but already we have ruled out loads because as you say there are somethings you personally know you want. Everyone looks for different features. At the end of the day, you are going to be using it the most so you HAVE to have the one you want and will get on with. Sorry but if it was my OH's Mum... it would be going back!

 

[Blob]

Not bitchy I wouldn't want anyone buying my baby anything so personal, unless I gave them the exact link it's not like the pram is easy, it's not just for baby.

 

[BubsMom17]

If she really wants to buy it, maybe she can keep it for herself? Like for grandma/grandbaby days?

My mom and my mom-in-law have travel systems of their own for my son for when he spends time with them.

I would not have wanted someone to pick out the stroller/carseat system for me. We were very specific about what we wanted as well.

 

[October2013]

Oh that must be a tough situation for you. On one hand she's being very generous by getting this gift for you (which for me is the most expensive item on my list!) But on the other hand, she's kind of stepping on your mommy toes, just a little.
Travel systems are personal, even though they don't seem like they would be. I held up completing my entire registry because it took me 3 weeks of research to FINALLY decide on which one was best for me. For some people, picking out their car seat/ stroller combo might not be a big deal, but for you (and me) it clearly is. It's got to be quite irritating that she won't reason with you guys and just purchase some clothes or blankies, or even something you won't need until later like an exercise chair or high chair...

So no, I don't think you're being bitchy at all. I believe her heart is in the right place, but it sounds like she's being pretty unreasonable.

 

[Momto4monkeys]

Thanks ladies!

I feel a bit better knowing that I'm not just being over run by hormones!

I hope he is able to talk her into waiting, or purchasing something different altogether. Otherwise I fear she'll be hurt if we return the system she buys.

 

[beagleowner]

I think this phenomenon is so weird. People post stuff like this all the time--family members insisting on buying them certain things when they want other things.

I think it's totally fine for clothes or toys, because babies will have multiples of those. But strollers and cribs and stuff that babies will only have one of--well, that's the decision of the parents.

It's truly strange to me that grandparents think they can decide this stuff for parents. I'm not saying they're coming from a bad place and no doubt it is generous, but it's just so strange in my opinion.

 

[jennifer.lee]

I do agree that she should let you and your boyfriend make those kind of decisions. After all, it is YOUR baby, and although she thinks she is being helpful, it is a pretty big decision to attempt to make for parents.

Could it be, though, that she's buying them for HER to use? As in, when she's keeping the baby or having him or her over for a visit?