Would you be offended?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by CarlyP, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. CarlyP

    CarlyP Mum of 2 & baking #3

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    A friend on face book put a picture up of her nursery all done out (baby due 7weeks) cot was in front of window/radiator.

    I sent her a pm saying just wondered if she was leaving the cot there as baby might over heat or get a draft.

    She msg me back saying thanks but radiator is thermastat controll and window double glazing so no draft, plus it will be summer so heating wont be on, but actually shes due may so by the time baby will be in a cot will be around sept.. but anyway

    then she put a status to all my friends is it right to put cot next to window/radiator am i wrong? A few people replied and said they'd been told not to etc

    so i msg her and said sorry if i worried you but just mummy instincts coming through

    she replied no not worried lol suprised u could see the cot?

    so i left it at that, then OH friend said she had been talking to him about it saying does she think im not capable and all this so he said it sounds like she was just giving u advice etc..

    but this has really wound me up i classed her a good enough friend to be able to voice things like this

    sorry for the longness just wanted some opinions if youd be offended??
     
  2. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

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    I wouldn't be offended if a good friend said that to me, no, But if a stranger decides to give me their opinion on how I do stuff then that's very irritating.
     
  3. flower01

    flower01 Expecting Baby 3!!

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    i think hun you may have just hurt her pride a bit. she is probably really glad you told her but embarrassed that she didnt think about it herself. you know how it feels when someone corrects you on something that maybe you should of known or figured out.

    i wouldnt worry hun, just leave it now and im sure she will forget about it soon!
    xxxx
     
  4. Sarah10

    Sarah10 Guest

    No i wouldn't be offended, xx
     
  5. CarlyP

    CarlyP Mum of 2 & baking #3

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    Your probably right just wish she wasnt speaking to OH's friend about it instead of me!!
     
  6. Kimmer

    Kimmer Mummy to a beautiful baby

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    I wouldn't be offended.

    A few months ago, me and a friend were talking about what our babies wear to bed, she said 'he just wears a long sleeved vest and a 1.5 tog sleeping bag. He doesn't get our body heat cause he's all the way across the room under the window' This was in the coldest part of the year when it was always minus temps. When I said I didn't think that was a good idea, she freaked out at me!

    Moral of the story is, people are normally doing the best they can.. but sometimes they just don't see what others see. When someone points mistakes out, they can be deeply hurt.

    You can't win really :dohh::haha:
     
  7. BunnyFace

    BunnyFace Mummy

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    I wouldnt be offended at all :flower:
     
  8. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    I see it as the lesser of two evils. If you said nowt, and something happened, how would you feel? There is so little advice for these sorts of things, new mums can often do stuff which could be dangerous, without thinking.

    She might not want to talk to you about it for fear of falling out. Put it down to her hormones and put it behind you.
     
  9. Mrs Mayhem

    Mrs Mayhem Guest

    No, if it was a good friend giving me advice then I wouldn't be offended at all!
     
  10. ILoveShoes

    ILoveShoes Well-Known Member

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    My LO's cot is by the window and radiator too... We also have new double glazing, so there's no draft and the radiator is on on a timer (it doesn't come on at all while LI will be in his cot). To be honest, I would've thought that she would've thought carefully about where her cot was going, and weighed up the risks etc.
    Our cot could only go in two places, one was where it is and the other had plug sockets half way up the wall. I decided to put it where it is now as I didn't want LO to mess with the plug sockets when he gets bigger.
    I'm not arguing or anything, I just think she probably knew what she was doing.
    xx
     
  11. smokey

    smokey Mummy to a monkey

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    I might be a little upset but purely because its the sort of thing she maybe thinks she probably should have realised herself and at the moment she is probably going through the whole "will I be a good enough mother" paranioa and maybe questioning if her natural instincts havnt kicked in then leading her to think how many more mistakes she might make.

    Its one of those things that will soon be forgoten once she finds her confidance as a new mummy and then realises it was just good advice.
     
  12. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    I'm just wondering why it would need to be a good friend. As a new mum to be, I was so clueless that even if a stranger gave me advice, I wouldn't have been offended.
     
  13. jenkins

    jenkins Well-Known Member

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    Think i'll probably be going against the grain but............

    if this is her first then she would have been especially excited, i imagine she was so happy and proud putting finishing the nursery and putting the pic up.

    maybe she felt like you peed on her bonfire?

    Your intentions may have been good but tbh as the baby isn't even here yet i wouldn't have said something straight away (if i felt strongly enough to even say anything) but would have waited till i saw her in person and brought it up in conversation.
    :flower:
     
  14. Paxton

    Paxton Mum + Wife-to-be

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    Really depends on your relationship.

    If my good friend said it, I wouldn't be.
    If it was my SIL, I would be, because I don't like her that much so constructive critisism would seem like just plain critisism.
     
  15. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be offended but do agree it probably could've waited until you saw her in person. Keep in mind pregnant women can be super hormonal as well. :lol:
     
  16. charlotte-xo

    charlotte-xo Alfie and Darcey's mummy

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    nope it wouldnt bother me.

    <3
     
  17. WhiteGeisha

    WhiteGeisha Well-Known Member

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    I'd probably go on net and see what it says then go from there. I had this dilemma with mine. The only 2 places the cot would fit was next to window or radiator. I went for window, and even though I have double glazing and double backed curtains when I put LO down I could feel the draught coming under the curtains which was the level baby was laying at so I had to move all my furniture towards the window, my bed is now there, and move LO's cot the other side.

    You pointed something out. She probably just feels like she's being picked at. Its hard sometimes to know when to say anything or not. I'd just forget about it, I'm sure she will soon. If she looked online she'd see they don't recommend it so it"s not like you are picking out something because it's not what you would do personally it's guidelines. Let her get on with it. You did nothing wrong. You even PMd her and didn't post a comment on the pics so she should realise that. X
     
  18. charli87

    charli87 Chloes Mummy

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    I wouldn't be offended especially if it was a friend, your only trying to help incase she didn't know surely?:shrug:
     
  19. amygwen

    amygwen Mom to Kenny & Gwendoline

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    If it was a good friend than I wouldn't be offended. But if it was just a friend or someone that I didn't like very much than yes, I would be offended. Either way it probably would've been best if you wouldn't have said anything because I know I get irritated if someone doubts what I do, even if it just where the cot is. She probably feels like you think she's not knowing what she's doing. :hugs:
     
  20. hayley x

    hayley x 1AngelSon,1EarthDaughter

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    I wouldnt be offended when you are helping reduce the risk of SIDS, I think it was good of you to let her know! x
     

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