Would you be upset if a sibling used your child's middle name?

[second.time]

I have two sons. My husband and I had two names we really loved that we didn't use for our boys because those names are middle names of older cousins in the family.

My younger brother and his fiancee are expecting a baby soon. They had a girl's name they love but are now looking for a boy name after they found out the baby's a boy. My younger son has a middle name (let's say John) that my husband picked because it's meaningful to him. Now my brother and his fiancee want to name their baby John. It's not a totally unique name but it's also not common.

Am I being petty to feel kind of upset about this? I wanted my kids' names to be unique within the family, which is why I avoided certain names. It feels ironic that I avoided middle names myself and now somebody else is reusing my kid's middle name! But to some people it's not a big deal at all, I know.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

For me it wouldn't be a big deal at all, but that doesn't mean that you aren't entitled to your feelings about it. Have you spoke to your brother about the way you feel?

 

[crownest]

If it's only a middle name and not used day to day I wouldn't say anything. You chose not to use it as a first name so it's unfair to expect your brother not to use it.

 

[love.peace]

It wouldnt bother me personally. ❤ id tell me child it was awesome that their cousin was named after them x

 

[second.time]

Thanks everyone, some people I've spoken to say they would be bothered and others seem to think it's not a big deal at all. Seems like the overall verdict is that it's not a big deal.

Obviously either way they're free to do what they want. And even though I was careful to avoid middle names, I know other people don't feel the same way, so it's unfair to expect others to go along with my quirks.

One thing is that I usually pick middle names as back-up names if the kid grows up to not love the first name and connect more with the middle name, and so losing that option for my son upset me a little. But that is a long shot and it is hard enough to pick names you like without worrying about middle names.

 

[love.peace]

Hugs mama. Judt because i wouldnt feel upset personally doesnt mean youre feeling are any more valid. Sending love. Hopefully they change their mind x

 

[love.peace]

Invalid. Urgh gosh babay brain. I hope you know what I mean. You have every right to feel the way you do x

 

[CC94]

It wouldn’t bother me, I could see how it might bother some though. I’m sure the boys would love it growing up though xx

 

[Bella1185]

I actually think it’s kinda cool they’d potentially share a name in some capacity as cousins!! However I can understand the feelings you might be having around the whole situation.... hope it sorts out!

 

[second.time]

Invalid. Urgh gosh babay brain. I hope you know what I mean. You have every right to feel the way you do x

I totally understood what you meant! Thank you, that's so supportive and kind.

After sitting on it for a few days I don't mind nearly as much. I think it was the surprise of it that really upset me ... I hadn't even known they liked the name and hadn't considered the possibility of them using that name. So it threw me off. But you're right, it would make a special bond between the boys. My DH actually has a cousin with his same first name and nobody in the family seems to care or mind, so using a middle name as a first name truly isn't a big deal at all.