Would you go through IVF to guarantee gender?

[MommyPrice]

Hi! I'm a mother two four handsome boys - 4 years, 2 years, and twin 4 month olds

I love them all dearly - I knew each time that we got pregnant, that there was a chance for the baby to be either a boy or a girl, and I didn't care... until the last time. I didn't think I'd have twins (even though I was on Clomid). I never wanted more than four kids, and now it looks like I won't ever have a girl.

However, someone mentioned that you can do some family balancing through IVF, and we'd donate any male embryos that came into existence to other infertile couples. My main concern is that I don't want my boys to feel that they weren't good enough, because they are! I just always pictured having at least one daughter, and I'm afraid I'll never get to experience that now. Would you go through IVF (providing you had the funds) to guarantee the gender of your choice?

 

[george83]

I have 3 boys (hats off to you coping with your little lot, I bet they are amazing with each other being so close) and still can't accept I won't get my daughter. I probably would do gender selection if I was needing to have ivf anyway and as long as nobody else ever knew as like you I'd hate my boys thinking they weren't special enough and couldn't deal with other people thinking that either.. I know it's never going to be option for us though so maybe in reality id change my mind when it came to it

 

[hanni]

If you can comfortably afford it, go for it! Your money and your life. I probably wouldn't tell too many people though as I can imagine it would get some quite strong opinions.

 

[donnarobinson]

If I could chose to have a girl I would
My boys are amazing i love them dearly is still like a girl tho X

 

[Torz]

In the uk unfortunately it's not an option, you can't select gender even with IVF.

If it was an option I think I would just for 1 try & if it didn't work I'd just admit that it wasn't ment to be for me.

 

[Misscalais]

If you can afford it why not? I had thought about it but when it came down to it i personally wouldn't be able to.
I got lucky though and accidentally got pregnant with #4 and got a little sister for my 3 boys.
I don't think it's something you'd have to tell your boys you went through to have a daughter. Im sure they know their mumma loves them dearly

 

[Boo44]

See I don't think I could, purely because I couldn't bear to give away any male embryos as they would also be mine! So as much as I'd love a girl, really I just love the baby that we get and think there would be too much emotion there for me to consider IVF gender selection

 

[Andypanda6570]

See I don't think I could, purely because I couldn't bear to give away any male embryos as they would also be mine! So as much as I'd love a girl, really I just love the baby that we get and think there would be too much emotion there for me to consider IVF gender selection

I agree, I couldn't do it..I have 3 boys older, I lost my surprise pregnancy at 40 ..My Ava.. So it is possible after 3 4 or 5 boys to get your girl..

 

[laila 44]

Yes, I would. I'm currently having our third girl and we are thrilled however I have to be honest... If I was having my third boy i would be devastated. Not that boys aren't amazing, they really are however for me I would really really want to have at least one daughter in my life. I don't feel the same way about a son though. If I'd have a boy, great! But if I don't ever have a son then that would be ok too. I just can't say the same about a daughter. My mom is my best friend and I adore her, so maybe that's why having daughter is important to me? Regardless, I would definately do Ivf if I had boys but wanted just one daughter xx

This post isn't meant to offend anyone with boys btw I love love love little boys I'm merely stating my honest opinion as to what I would do if I was a mother of only boys and wanted to try for one more.

 

[Boo44]

How can you know how you would feel if you were a mother to only boys though laila? You might not feel like that at all! I like girls and love my nieces but I have no idea how I would feel about a son if I had 3 daughters. It's not as cut and dry as that...

 

[laila 44]

How can you know how you would feel if you were a mother to only boys though laila? You might not feel like that at all! I like girls and love my nieces but I have no idea how I would feel about a son if I had 3 daughters. It's not as cut and dry as that...

Yes you are right I don't know how I would feel exactly, I agree with you boo. However I know I'd really really want a daughter so I can assume id probably be more inclined to gender select or "family balance " if I were a mother to only boys and wanted one more xx

 

[Isme]

If I'm not mistaken isn't there a way to gender select for a girl without IVF? I thought they could use some super spinner (not a scientific term, but pregnancy brain has a firm grip at the moment) to spin the sperm so that girl sperm were separated from the male sperm and then could be injected via IUI or something? I might be totally wrong, though. It has happened before. lol

As for the original question, I wouldn't be against it. If I had the resources and was healthy enough for it (the extra hormones scare me a little), then it would be something to consider. I'm don't see anything wrong with it. You can love your existing children and still want another, why can't it be the same when you are talking about a specific gender? Right now I have two daughters and don't feel the need to balance things out with a son. I'd be very happy with another daughter. But as someone else mentioned, maybe I would feel differently if I only had sons?

 

[babyjan]

Didn't that woman chrissy teigen who's married to John legend select a girl through ivf.

I personally wouldn't do it x

 

[Boo44]

If it was just as easy as making embryos of a preferred gender then maybe. But actually it's making embryos then seeing which gender they are and disposing of or giving away the other gender and that's what I couldn't do!

 

[confused87com]

I agree with the pp. I would see them all as my potential children and wouldn't be able to pick. ....I think. ...but until you are in that situation I suppose you never know how you would feel

 

[MrsM17]

You can have sperm sorting (microsort) x

 

[mummy2_1]

See sperm sorting I would still see as potential children. Personally (and everyone is entitled to their own opinion) I wouldn't gender select just bcos of that. Deselected potential children. Apart of the joy is finding out what u are having whether at gender scan or the birth. I sympathise with families that suffer with gd. But ur babies are ur babies for a reason.

 

[MrsM17]

I would not see sperm alone as any potential children. Trillions in fact way more than that are 'wasted' daily by many men around the world, none of which were ever destined to become a baby. Sperm are just sperm imp. Ethics only comes into it once they fertilise an egg and if this never occurs then they are just sperm and 'wasted' like all the others. I don't look at all the sperm my husband has 'wasted' when we were not ttc and think that I have lost zillions of potential children. Obviously just my opinion though x

 

[donnarobinson]

See sperm sorting I would still see as potential children. Personally (and everyone is entitled to their own opinion) I wouldn't gender select just bcos of that. Deselected potential children. Apart of the joy is finding out what u are having whether at gender scan or the birth. I sympathise with families that suffer with gd. But ur babies are ur babies for a reason.

I don't think there is any need to comment with comments like ur babies are ur babies for a reason we no this I take it you have one of each

 

[DannaD]

I would do it. If I was to do IVF I'd do genetic screening (to be sure there's no genetic problems) and you find out the sex then. Why ask not to know and let the doctor pick instead of choosing myself with my husband?
I had fertility issues so IVF was discussed for a while.