Would you keep waiting?

[sarah2211]

My husband and I have been trying for baby #1 since November with no luck. I'm 26 and he's almost 30. Ideally we would have 3-4 little ones.

About 2.5 weeks ago my husband had to go away for work and he'll be away for probably 2 more cycles and hopefully back by May. We were keen to try as soon as he got home.

Yesterday I got offered a new job, at a very reputable school. I have to complete 14 months more teaching to gain my registration. If I work for at least 12 months I am entitled to the best maternity leave available.

So, if I was due July-August 2017 then that would allow me to gain some great experience, finish my registration and maternity leave.

If I fell pregnant when my husband come home, I'd be due in February and would have to go back to work when our little one is 6 months to finish my registration. I really wouldn't want to put him/her into care at such a young age.

My husband and I are so keen to starts family. We wanted it to happen straight away. I don't really want to go back on the pill and to be honest, the maternity leave is not all that important because my husband could support our family.

My husband has said we will talk it all through when he gets home. I can tell he's disappointed (although very excited for me) about the job.

I'm just so not sure what to do. Any words of wisdom?

 

[alibc]

It sounds to me like neither of you want to wait. You said yourself, the maternity leave isn't a bit deal because your DH can support you guys.

Part of me wants to say you should wait. But another part of me says, don't wait. Life is too short. It's already been a handful of months of you guys trying and it doesn't sound like it would be fun to have to try for more months if you were to go back to trying in the Fall and it didn't happen right away. So, I say go for it. Keep trying when DH gets back.

Or you could casually try. AKA not chart, just have sex when you feel like it without protection. And if it happens, great. If not, that's okay too. If it doesn't and Fall comes around, then I would be more aggressive about trying. Start charting, actively having sex when you're ovulating, etc.

Also, don't get back on a hormonal birth control. If you decide to wait, I would just use condoms. It's good for your body to be off hormonal birth control for awhile before you start trying. It can take time for your natural cycle to become regular.

Best of luck to you two and congrats on the new job!

 

[sarah2211]

Hi Ali, thanks for your reply.

Haha it sounds like you get where we are coming from! We don't want to wait but as soon as I think about not waiting, I think that we should! Financially it's not a problem. However if I don't get my registration before having babies, I'll have to pay a lot of money and start again, or take up a new profession. Even though he can support us, things would be more comfortable with a little more income. It would mean we could put more in savings.

That's what I'm thinking too. Life is short. We never know when my husband might have to go away. At the moment there's nothing else we expect, but it is still possible he could go on a 6-8 month deployment next year.

I'm thinking that I won't go back on the pill but carry on charting and avoid/use condoms during the fertile window. If I fall pregnant it will be a blessing, but if not then it will happen when it happens.

I'm thinking I might go and see my GP and see what she suggests. With charting and avoiding BDing between the fertile window, the likelihood of falling pregnant is about 2% a year. I'm not keen to go through the coming off BC again.

Thanks, I guess we just have to see where the next few months take us!

 

[Amygdala]

I'd agree with not going back on the pill. Might be a great opportunity to get to grips with charting and just use if for prevention for a while? I would wait personally. It's another 6 months, which sucks of course, but it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. And it'll not only give you a little extra money, which can't hurt anyway, it'll also take a lot of pressure off you to go back to work at 6 months. I think having more freedom to decide if and when you want to return is so valuable. Best of luck, whatever you decide!

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks Amy. It's 6 months from when we can actually try again. It's 8 months from now, which seems like ages!

But I agree, the money, the flexibility, my registration etc, it's all good. It's not never having a baby, it's just a delay. But I'm not keen to go back on the pill and my DH agrees.

I'll keep temping and see how I get on until DH gets home.

Thanks