Would you wait for the extra income?

[Changedmymind]

Hi,

First time poster to this forum and looking for some guidance/opinions?

My husband and I have been married for almost a year and a half, together for nearly 5 years total.

For a long time we weren't sure we wanted to have children, it's not that we didn't, it's that we both were 'on the fence' about it. Neither of us had strong feelings to not have kids but nor did we have strong feelings to have them either but we think we would like to start a family (after long lengthy discussions for either side!)

Anyway, back to the point - I'm currently on the waiting list for some reasonably minor surgery (gallbladder removal) so we will definitely be waiting until after that to TTC however, in October 2016 I will have been at my job for 2 years so will move into the next bracket up for employment benefits. Basically currently I would just get the basic maternity leave (6 weeks at 90% pay then statutory) but after the 2 years I would get 6 weeks at 100% pay followed by 6 weeks at 50% before going into statutory.

I think I financially equated it to an extra £750 in the long run (ish) but my quandary is this......

Would you keep waiting TTC until after the increase in employee benefits or try anyway regardless?

If it makes any difference I will be 29 in June 2016 and we aren't struggling with money, we are by no means rich, but currently with both our incomes we probably have about £250 disposable income each month after bills etc etc

I'm so caught up in running it all through my head I just wanted some friendly advice.

 

[Yo_Yo]

Hi, welcome to bnb!

If you have done the maths and could afford to have a baby sooner, I would do that. You never know how long (or fast!) ttc may take you.

 

[hanni]

If you can afford it as stands, I wouldn't. There'll always be something sneaks up for you to wait for, plus as the PP says, you don't know how long it will take (hopefully not long!)

 

[hanni]

Would you still get moved up if you were pregnant?

 

[tverb84]

Sounds like you have it figured out $ wise so I don't see any reason why you would wait.

Do you have problems with your gall bladder? My sil had problems with her when she was pregnant with my niece,she was in and out of the hospital twice because of her gall stones.She had them before she was pregnant so her pregnancy didn't cause it.She's doing much better now since giving birth in July and had her gall bladder out in August.If you are having problems with yours maybe talk to your doctor first before trying to have a baby.

 

[skycastles]

Would you be able to take the full 12 weeks (6 weeks paid, 6 weeks 50%) of leave once you get that benefit? An extra 6 weeks at home with the baby sounds good enough to wait for to me - I totally get how hard it is to wait though
Hope your gall bladder op goes smoothly!

 

[Changedmymind]

Thanks for the friendly responses - I felt a bit silly posting because it's such a minor thing but it's going round and round in my head so needed to get it out and write it down somewhere!

We definitely won't be trying until after my gallbladder is removed so that will put things off for awhile (I think it will be out by end of January) and then we can either start trying straight away (and run the risk of we get pregnant fast missing out on the extra benefit) or we put it off for about 6 months and start trying in around June /July to be guaranteed (no matter how long it takes to get pregnant) to get the higher benefit. (Basically I will get the benefit if my qualifying week of the pregnancy is after my 2 year anniversary at work)

Basically I'm swinging between thinking 'it's only 6 months just wait, what's the problem, a little extra cash and time at home would be great' and 'but what if we struggle to get pregnant, surely trying sooner would be better so we have more time to work through any problems'

So great to hear your kind thoughts whilst I'm dipping my toes in the world of this forum!

 

[krissie328]

I would probably wait. Not so much for the extra income but just to adjust to having your gallbladder out and getting yourself healthy. You could always compromise with 3 months. That gives you a good amount of recovery but if you didn't fall pregnant right away you could qualify for the extra benefit.

 

[hanni]

I would probably wait. Not so much for the extra income but just to adjust to having your gallbladder out and getting yourself healthy. You could always compromise with 3 months. That gives you a good amount of recovery but if you didn't fall pregnant right away you could qualify for the extra benefit.

This!

Would you be allowed to ttc straight after having surgery? Given how much your stomach muscles are going to expand whilst pregnant. Probably best to wait until the incision in your muscles has healed properly.

 

[emicakess]

I dont think it would hurt to wait just a few months after your glal bladder removal, and then that will fix your conundrum with the raise. Just TTC two or three months before your raise and dont tell your employer that you are pregnant until you are 4 months along (if you get pregnant right away.) Just do what feels right, dont stress too much. I personally would wait. But at the same time I get very eager to start TTC so it would be hard emotionally to wait. I'm in a similar position and we are going to wait... I'm sad about it. Good luck whichever you decide to do

 

[Changedmymind]

Thankyou everyone - it's so great to hear sensible answers! I think I just had a confidence wobble at the weekend- now to keep myself busy with other things and not think about it so much! Easier said than done though right?!

 

[MindUtopia]

No, honestly, I wouldn't unless there would be absolutely no way you could afford to survive without the additional money (if 750 quid would make that much of a difference, I would probably reconsider TTC at all right now though). When I had my daughter, I only had maternity allowance, so that's just the SMP amount from the start (none of the 90% of full pay for 6 weeks) because I'm self-employed and don't qualify for actual SMP. I'm still self-employed as well as a full-time student and when we have our second, I still will only qualify for maternity allowance (my husband who is also self-employed doesn't get statuatory paternity leave either - he just has to take off with no pay and make it up in extra work before or after). It's fine. It's slightly less money, but in the grand scheme of things you adjust and you make it work. It wouldn't be an obstacle for me to TTC. Who knows how long it might take you? If you get pregnant quickly, great, but if you don't then, you might still end up waiting long enough to qualify for the extra benefits anyway, which would be a bonus for me, but not a deal breaker.

 

[KatO79]

I agree you shouldn't wait. DH and I (he's 38 and I'm 36) may have waited too long to start TTC #1 and here we are 2 years later and still trying We have unexplained infertility and been through 6 failed IUIs and now doing long protocol IVF.

So don't wait very long as you never know how long it'll take. I sure wish we'd started a couple of years sooner at least

 

[Changedmymind]

Annoyingly, although we have now decided to no wait for the extra employment benefits, we are stuck waiting for the gallbladder surgery. I have passed the NHS 18 week timeline on 17th Nov but still have no date for surgery and they can't tell me when one might come to light - their best guess was March! Which now seems like such a long time now we have decided we want to concieve! Meh - what ya gonna do!

 

[Icecreamtwist]

Since you are scared you might not be able to conceived fast after you wait for 6 months for higher benefit, maybe a month after you remove the gallbladder you can just NTNP ? If it happens it's meant to be if not atleast you would have started sooner rather than later!

I'm a very big believe in everything happens for a reason..

 

[Icecreamtwist]

Just noticed your last post haha good for you!!! like I said, I am a very strong believer in everything happens for a reason! Good luck to both of you, all the best and God bless your little family to be!

 

[Changedmymind]

So just because I wanted to have a small rant about this, I've come on here to update!

I just received a date for my surgery (yay!) but it's 6 days before me and my husband are due to fly internationally long haul (boo!) so doesn't allow enough time for recovery. Annoyingly I had warned them of my travel plans as soon as I realised I wasn't going to be seen in the NHS 18 weeks timeline and they seem to have completely ignored that! The nightmare now is that they might put me completely to the bottom of the list again as I will have to turn down this surgery date (we have to go, so no option to cancel the flight etc)

The moment we had definitely decided we wanted to start trying to concieve I have become the most impatient person about it it all.......my perspective completely switched about the surgery. Before I was happy for it to be done whenever, now everyday is another day we have to wait!

Frustrating.

Ok rant over!

 

[tverb84]

Is there any way that you can change your vacation date?

 

[Changedmymind]

Hey - so I thought I would come back and give a bit of an update (as I always like to know what happened on other people's posts!)

I finally was given my surgery date back in January after a lot of to and fro'ing so my gallbladder is now gone!

As soon as I had my surgery me and my husband actively started TTC so we are now going into cycle#3 of trying this month.

Just wanted to thank all those who took the time to reply - moving over to the TTC forum!

Thanks!

 

[hanni]

Yay, best of luck with ttc. Hope it happens quickly for you!