Hi All I am in such a difficult space currently . My head says we should start trying for #2 due to me getting older, age gap, and also looking how long it took me to fall pregnant the first time. So logically I know I want another one but emotionally I have no urge or need because my lb satisfies and fulfills me so thoroughly. I know I will regret it if we never end up having #2 so its definitely going to happen but I am just so confused. I actually went ahead and had my mirena removed last week but I still doubt whether we are doing the right thing . Currently, my lb is 20months and his favorite thing to do is rough and tumble with mommy,using my stomach as a trampoline (ouch!) so if I had to fall pregnant now, that would all have to stop which I feel would be unfair to him, almost like I am cheating him out of his childhood. It would be so much easier if he was older and could show a desire to have a sibling, then I wouldnt feel any guilt etc. When I try get DH input regarding tcc #2, he says he is worried about the cost and how busy and hectic life would be with 2 kids (please note that none of this was mentioned when I discussed with him the idea of having the mirena taken out ) so he isnt much help currently in sorting out whether we should actually go ahead or not. It took me quite long to fall pregnant the first time and needed clomid etc to get me ovulating so I cant help thinking that if it takes so long again, then the age gap would be fine etc and the longer I wait, the more complicated it might get cause of age etc. One day I feel like whatever, if it happens it happens then the next I think we shouldnt even try cause what if it actually happens quickly and then Im not ready. How has anyone else dealt with ambivalence?