WTT But afraid of what people might think!!!

[bexbaby]

Hi me and my partner are currently WTT, we are thinking maybe January, February 2014 but the only thing running round my head is what other people may think!! my LO will be 17 months old by then and be 2 once baby is born. But I have a very opinionated family and its the same with my in-laws they'll all be saying its too soon for another one etc... but its what we want that counts isn't it?!

Has anyone else been in the same boat? And got any words of advice for me

xxx

 

[Reidfidleir]

My parents would be the opinionated ones. No advice but I keep saying things here and there about having another child to get their minds around it before we start trying. Thorrin is 13 months and well start trying around April or so

 

[ParisJeTadore]

My lo is only 13 months and my Mom thinks I am waiting too long to have another

Ultimately, you have to do what's best for you and your partner. Just like with parenting choices because we all know that family has LOTS of opinions over how you should do things (even though they are served up as "suggestions").

 

[lucy_smith]

Do what you feel is right! People always have an opinion on what you are going to do, but as long as ypu believe that what you are doing is right for you then who cares!!!
I am the eldest in my family and there is only 13 months between me and my brother and only 15 months between him and my sister! Mum managed to squeeze 5 into 6-7 years! And I love us being so close! Wouldn't change it for the world!

 

[MummyJade]

My parents are great... I had my daughter at 19.. and they was fab about that... She is 5 in Nov, when we start trying for another.. So I cant see them being any different.. I look after my daughter well and my partner is amazing with her.. My family love my partner too...

Its your choice and if your ready your ready... your family should be pleased for you x

 

[Lirpa11]

We're in a different boat, where we are both 25 and I know if we go to have a baby MIL will voice her opinion. She's always saying that we can't have one till were over 30 as she doesn't want to be a grandma... Not sure how that affects what we want as I don't really care if she doesn't wanna be a grandma.

Do what you two want.

 

[spicyorange]

maybe dont tell that you are trying - they will be less judgemental probably if baby is already on the way rather than talking you out of ttc. but end of day - its none of their busines really!

 

[MrsMandy]

We're in a different boat, where we are both 25 and I know if we go to have a baby MIL will voice her opinion. She's always saying that we can't have one till were over 30 as she doesn't want to be a grandma... Not sure how that affects what we want as I don't really care if she doesn't wanna be a grandma.



Do what you two want.

Ha - we have the same but with hubbys grandma not wanting to be a great grandma!! (frankly she can bog off!! )

Ignore others, only you as a couple can decide when its time xx

 

[bexbaby]

My parents do love my partner and they're great with my little boy, well with all of there grandchildren. Its my my partners parents that aren't ready for us to have another. His mum is fine she would be made up for us its his stepmother that wouldn't like it. She just sticks her nose into business that has nothing to do with her she was very opinionated when I fell pregnant with my little boy. But I just think we arent gonna tell anyone we are trying and then spring it on them out of the blue xxx

 

[Belle25]

It's up to you when you have another baby. Even if they think it's too soon, they will come around and be pleased quickly.
X

 

[MellyH]

Honestly, two years is a very common gap, I can't see what grounds they could possibly have to complain. Some people just like to whinge about anything they can think of!

 

[MummyJade]

Yeah its no ones business what you and your partner decide to do...
2 year gap is common, i wanted 2 year gap and there is 2 years 9 months between me and my brother...

x

 

[I Love Lucy]

It's entirely up to you and your partner when you want to have another child. I understand your frustration with the opinionated people though. I had a rough pregnancy and really have no desire to be pregnant again at this point and told my mom that I wouldn't be opposed to having a 2 or 3 year age gap to which she responded is too big of a gap. In another conversation about having no desire to be pregnant again she was telling me I would have another baby. She seems to think she has a say when she makes comments like that but at the end of the day she doesn't. Same goes for your relatives who like to make their opinions known.

 

[sausages]

Urgh! Family can be amazing, but they can be massive pains in the arse too!! Mine have made it quite clear that they do NOT want us to have another baby. I understand that they worry because of our losses, but sod them! It's not up to anyone else but you and your other half.

I have a 21 month age gap between my two and it's fab!

 

[fides]

awww, don't be afraid! do what's best for your family

we got a few comments b/c we were pregnant again by the time DS1 was 6 months old, but in the end, once the baby's here, no one cares about what kind of gap you have.

i think 2 years would be a wonderful age gap!

 

[lucy_smith]

Why do parents need to be like that? Bfs mum told me in front of a shop full of people, my best friend was there and some other people we know and told me I wasn't allowed kids! That she doesn't want grand kids! And the look on her face when she said it! I wouldn't mind but me and bf are in a good relationship, lived together 3 years and been together 6, so what gives her the right ? I can't wait to see the look of disappointment when we tell her once I'm finally pregnant! Is that a little nasty?

 

[MellyH]

Well, it's not nice, but I would feel the same.

 

[LockandKey]

don't ever put off having children or growing your family for anyone other than yourself and your OH/DH.

I got this too from a lot of family and friends when we brought up a possible 3rd child, and they would always argue that we have a girl and we have a boy, that's perfect, and we don't "need" to add any more to the mix, but what if that's not "perfect" for me or the ideal family I would like Really, it's not up to them, or anyone else to decide for us the kind of family we have.

Don't worry what others say or think, although they are family, it's really none of their business how close in age your children are or how many you have. I've just stopped bringing it up to people at all because I don't want to hear them try and argue with me about MY family. They can complain all they want until they are blue in the face, but I am still going to do as I wish, and even if they are against it from the beginning, who wouldn't love their niece or nephew or next grandchild? Adding children to a family is a blessing, and they will be happy with and love the next child that comes along.

 

[bexbaby]

Thank you for all your post's back its been really helpful. Me and my o/h will be ttc january/february 2014 so ill make sure to post if all goes well. We recently found out that my brother and his fiance are pregnant so we are gunna wait a while so they can have the lime light for a good while, seems right so we can enjoy other family members happiness too

thank you all once again xxxxx

 

[ashrc66]

You know I have been having the same feelings except it would be our first. The only helpful advice I had received was "you can't control others actions only your reactions to those actions". IT has been really hard to live by those words but once they sunk in it has made things much easier. They really don't get to have a say in your life-it's your body and you and your partners decision! Good Luck, hopefully everything turns out well