It's weird to think I'm back in this thread, I didn't ever plan on being here again and honestly I'm not even sure if this is where I belong yet. I will always want a third child but after loosing my twins at what I thought was 9w2d and was really 7w2d... I'm almost afraid of trying again so for now I'll stay in this group and say were waiting, I want to give myself at least two months to grieve and have a clear idea of if I can mentally try again without it affecting me too much. We had one mmc as well in 2011 but we never saw the heartbeat and it didn't affect me as much. We currently have two wonderful boys at home who are 9 and 4 and the last week or so since we found out we lost the twins my 9 year old keeps telling me he loves me and never wants to see me this sad again. He is such a sweet and empathetic kid and I don't ever want him to have to see me like this again. Hence the confusion, but I also know the feeling for another child will never go away. I've imagined three kids my entire life. So for now I suppose were waiting until February.