WTT February 2014

[tuesdaysbaby]

Thought I'd start a thread for those of us who are waiting until February 2014 to TTC! Of course welcome for others as well, MrsKChicago I think you're January?

Little about me: I'm new to the site but not new to forums, I spent the lead up to my wedding on one, based in my country and I made best friends out of it

I'm 26, married for a little over three years now and I live in NZ. We are WTT so that we can finish renovating, sell our house and get a new one either in six months or in the next 15 I am also a beginning teacher and need to get two years registration after full time teaching for two years... we think we've worked it out so I should get UTD (hopeful!) in Feb and then be due at the end of the year which would work out perfectly.

Anyway, hope we've found our little "niche" now, it's hard when you're new and you don't know too many people!!

Tuesdaysbaby x

 

[MellyH]

Hiya TB (oh, that makes it sound like tuberculosis ). I just did an intro post in the main intro section but in short, I'm 30, DH is 31, we got married a week ago. He's American, I'm Australian, and we live in California. We're both scientists. We're both excited to start TTC early next year!

I wonder how soon after the implanon comes out that everything will go back to normal? I wonder what normal is for me?! I've had four of these (since I was 19) so I basically can't remember what my cycle was like without them!

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Hi Melly H - haha! That does make it sound like tuberculosis, oh dear. Poor choice of username. I wanted to use my handle from my previous forum but then I thought about potentially being identified and I didn't want that either.. though it was cuter than TB.

Nice to "meet" you and a fellow Australasian!

Congratulations on your very recent marriage, that's super exciting Did you get married in California or in Australia?

I've never had an implanon or anything of the sort so can't help there, I know my friend came of Depo about a year ago? She got her periods back 6-7 months later and thinks she's been OV'ing in the past 2 or so months. That probably helps none but I guess it's all individual.

I don't know about you but I glean a lot of information from Dr Google

 

[MellyH]

Yes I think I will be off to google it at some point! When they very first came out the claim was that you would return to normal fertility immediately, but I assume there have been more studies and more absolute numbers of people using it in the meantime and they might have a clearer understanding of the timeframe. It looks like from your signature that you've started tracking cycles - going well so far?

Yay for Australasians! My MOH lives in NZ actually, just moved to Wellington from Auckland, so I have visited NZ quite a few times now, it's great. Except when you beat us at rugby and/or cricket. Then it is diabolical.

We actually had two wedding celebrations, so that both families could be involved! One here in the US last month, and then the one in Australia last week. I'm still getting over the jetlag

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

You sound like a good scientist Haha. I kind of have, kind of haven't... I'm not temping or doing OPKs or anything but I've had an app on my phone for just over a year now monitoring my cycle length, I can vary between 30 days and once it was 42! So I started getting interested. I always wondered why I wasn't always on the same date each month, and then I figured it out! Duh. So I'm now taking Vitex daily to try and get my cycles to naturally get into more of a rhythm which no doubt will make TTC that much easier.
I don't want to take all the "fun" out of it but I'd like to have some idea what my body is doing.
Oh gosh Wellington, was a bit crazy there this week what with the earthquake etc. I think everyone is sort of ill at ease given what happened in Christchurch. It's not a bad part of the world, we're pretty lucky.
And yes, although I have to say, I'd always prefer to be beaten by the Aussies than by the South Africans. Dunno why, I feel more cousinly love for the Aussies My husband plays AFL actually, it's growing over here! And we're fans of the NRL. Dog is called Beau. Don't know if you follow it too but you know Beau Ryan right? Maybe? That's where we got the inspiration. So you Aussies do good things....

Wowee! That's amazing. I bet you're tired after that yes, one wedding and I needed to sleep for a week. Bet you looked just gorgeous both times

 

[MellyH]

What's Vitex? 42 days does seem long. My cycle is all over the place with the implant in, I'd say I get spotting every 5-6 weeks or so. I'm hoping it goes back to something more normal pretty quickly once it's out!

I know what you mean about fun - I am sure heaps of my friends would think it crazy to be monitoring and timing things from the start, instead of just seeing what happens, but I'm a planner, I like lists and schedules and plans. And I like some semblance of control!

My MOH posted pics of her local supermarket after the earthquake - broken bottles everywhere! I hope it settles down for her, she's always been a bit nervy about earthquakes. I live in California at the moment and we get little ones (3's and 4's) occasionally but nothing larger while I've been here, thankfully!

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Yeah it is long and it plays tricks on your mind too if you don't keep track and start noticing a pattern, albeit a long pattern. I am sure your cycles will go back to some semblance of normal once you have your implant out

& I'm the same, I figure I don't want to be getting disappointed month after month if I can try my best to be on top of my cycles and aware of OV dates etc. I figure I can at least now that we're doing everything "right" to begin with... does that make sense?

I'm a planner, I love organisation!!

That's what Wellington is normally like, however, they are RIGHT on the fault line, it goes right through the city and with all the hills and what not it makes it pretty freaky. I think it's back to normal now though, just broken glass and masonry to deal with.

Are you WTT for any particular reason?

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Sorry Vitex is a natural supplement from the Vitex plant, it's meant to aid in supporting fertility and regulating cycles. I asked about it online and got good responses so thought I'd get some! You've got to take it regularly for 12 weeks to start noticing the difference I think so that's why I'm on to it now.
In 12 weeks I'll also go to my doctor and get some folic acid and iodine so I can start taking that pre TTC.
When I start thinking in terms of weeks... it doesn't seem that far!

 

[MellyH]

We are waiting because we are moving next month, starting new jobs the month after that, having our honeymoon in November (and I don't want to have morning sickness for 10 days in Japan!!) and then visiting the in-laws for Christmas. We could conceivably start immediately after the honeymoon but I know his parents will be watching for any hint of news, like me not drinking, and that will start lots of questions and anticipation on their part! So we thought that since my implanon is due to come out in February anyway, that would be a great time to start. We'll see how long we actually hold out! I need to have been in my new job (starting Sept 3) for at least three months before we start, because I need to be there for 12 months for the maternity health insurance and benefits. I do have to check how that works, to make sure it's the due date that has to fall after 12 months, not the conception date!

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Oh I see, all great reasons to wait - sorry you probably mentioned about the implanon earlier! - how exciting, Japan! Jealous. Are you going skiing or tiki touring around the place? Isn't it frustrating that whole having to be in a job for 12 months...? Here it's 12 months from end date not conception date, they can't pinpoint that, haha. Probably completely different to here though. Do you get maternity leave over there that the government pays for? Does your employer hold your job open for a year? Sorry for all the questions I find the US system so interesting!!
Your in laws are so keen for a grandchild aren't they?! It's a bit sweet but I do understand how it could get overwhelming and also put a fair bit of pressure on you. We all have our reasons for WTT or choosing when to have children... I hope they don't keep up the constant pressure

 

[MellyH]

Ohhh the US system is terrible. It's like the worst in the developed world or something. There is NO guaranteed paid maternity leave, NO 12 months off unpaid where your employer holds your job. When I started my current job, they were excited to tell me about their 'good' maternity leave policy, which was six weeks at half pay, supplemented by the state of California's disability leave which is another six weeks at half pay. So, a total of twelve weeks at half pay was their 'good' policy. I cried in front of the HR lady! And said it was the worst policy I'd ever heard of. At my new job they don't even have the first six weeks at half pay. So I will have to take whatever sick leave and holidays I've accrued, then have the disability leave at half pay for six weeks, then have six weeks unpaid, then I have to be back at work. It's the pits.

So, where are you guys with your renovations? Are you excited how things are looking/planned to look?

 

[MrsKChicago]

Hi! Congratulations on the wedding, Melly!

I'm kind of early 2014. We don't have a really firm plan for January or February - I expect my husband will have some last minute jitters, but January is the earliest I'd have maternity coverage. I think we'll take a few months off if it doesn't happen in January or February, though. Our winters can be bad here, and I don't want to have to get to the hospital in a blizzard, and there are already so many winter babies in my family.

Thankfully, my brother's wife is expecting her first this December, so all the attention is off of me, for now!

 

[MellyH]

I was about to ask where you lived and then I read your name again.

Yes, I am tempted to stop trying for a few months if we don't fall by March, because I want to go home to Australia for Christmas and it would be nice to go with a new baby to show off to everyone, or a somewhat-preggy belly to show off to everyone, but if I'm too pregnant it won't work!

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

MellyH that is a terrible maternity leave system! That doesn't seem to benefit mother or baby well in the slightest. Jeez and I thought ours could do with improving. They are talking about increasing the number of weeks we get for paid maternity leave... the costs of it are outweighed by the positive returns (I'm a sociologist major so this fascinates me!) - you know what I mean? Here we get 14 weeks paid leave - it's not our full time wage, nor a proportion I don't think so it's not income measured which is good as it doesn't discriminate. Then a year with our job held open for us. Then for teachers there is a bonus of 6 weeks paid leave I think... need to check that out! I hope the extended mat leave gets approved by the government as I think it's really beneficial.

I understand re timing of babies both MrsKChicago and MellyH - we are timing it to be due just before or during school holidays - to make the most of the mat leave too!! - but I really do not want to be pregnant in the summer here, I don't love the heat that much anyway and swollen ankles are not my game. I hope to be due in late spring but I guess we'll have to be pretty lucky to achieve that first go!!

House is pretty much done MellyH - we started with a 1950s 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house that hadn't been touched to a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house with an internal access double car garage + workshop and a brand new kitchen. Whole house has been remodelled. We are doing the main bathroom now and then it's just finishing stuff, a bit of painting, furnishing and then we can sell it. We want to sell in spring so it's all nice and sunny and fresh looking.. winter makes everything so dire!

I hope you are both well today. I have to say it's SO nice to have people to talk to who have similar timelines!

Glad you found us MrsKChicago x

 

[MellyH]

Yes, the maternity leave policies here are terrible for mothers AND fathers AND babies! There is an interesting psychology in the US about freedom and capitalism - companies should be allowed to set the policies that make them the most viable (barring discrimination and illegalities), so 'requiring' them to support maternity leave makes them less viable and is a more 'socialist' (which is a dirty word here) ideal. Socialism is very anti-American! So parental leave is against two of the main US tenets.

The house renos sound amazing! Wow, I bet you look back at the before shots and marvel how far you've come. We are going to LA this weekend to start house-hunting (renting) for next month - it seems crazy to leave it this late but there is so little on the market that everything is snapped up straight away, and everything that is being advertised now is 'available to move in today!' or 'available to move in August 1' sort of thing. So it's a bit stressful!

 

[MamaKay86]

Hello ladies

We are planning on ttc #3 early next year. I qualify as a staff nurse in march but I should finish all my work in December! I think we might wait until January or February before we start trying.

I currently have the marena coil and we plan to have it removed soon so it will give my periods time to get back to normal. Plus I read you should wait at least 3 months after it is removed or there is a chance of miscarriage. This is probably something i need to talk to my gp about but me and hubby don't want to take any chances! We have had a miscarriage before and it is not something we want to experience again.

Part of me doesn't want to wait at all I have already thought of my birth plan, chosen names and we have been looking at buggies! I'm so excited xx

Kay
Xx

 

[MellyH]

Hiya Kay, yay for another 2014 buddy. I'm sorry to hear about your previous miscarriage, I would be wary too in the same circumstances. Big hugs.

You are prepared!! Hahaha, I haven't really thought about my birth plan. I have always maintained that I would walk into the hospital at 37 weeks and be like "Give me the epidural now! And keep it topped up until the baby is here!" but on the flip side, I have a pretty bad needle phobia (which I hear pregnancy helps with, since you get so many jabs!) so I might get closer and be all "Keep that thing away from me!" But I'm not averse to painkillers, is what I'm trying to say.

What names are you thinking of, if you care to share? My favourites in the past have included Tristan, Elijah, Jack for boys, and Eleanor, Isadora and Clara for girls.

 

[MrsKChicago]

Hi Kay! Glad you found us

Ooh, I'm terrible with needles, too. I think I'd almost rather just give birth without drugs than let them stick extra needles in me.

The system here really is terrible. Chances are, I'll just have to quit my job when we have kids. I don't make enough to make daycare viable, and I don't have any kind of benefits at all. My husband probably could take a couple weeks off work, but it would be unpaid.

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Welcome Kay, nice to have you in our little group.

Such a shame the US is anti socialism, this is my first love - socialism that is
It makes so much sense to value the work that parents do and reward people adequately. Never mind, you work with what you get and you'll have a sweet little baby to make it ALL worthwhile!!

I'm sorry to hear about your earlier miscarriage Kay xx

I hope you find somewhere to live this weekend MellyH!! I'm sure it will all fall into place LA sounds so faaaaancy, I might pretend you are a famous celebrity and then start saying I know people in LA...

Birth plan wise I think happy healthy baby happy healthy mum is my plan and if that includes the need for pain relief then that's the path I'll go down. I am not a person who rules things out, I would rather not have to eat my words at some point, haha!

x

 

[Dawnlouise30]

Hi Can i join?,

we plan to ttc number 2 in february time, that would make my LO 16 months so that combined with the length of a pregnancy would be a good age gap we feel.

I live in the UK. It took us a year to ttc our LO and in the end we used the clear blue fertility monitor and opk's. I am currently not on the pill as it did not suit me after having LO so we are doing natural family planning for now and i feel this will hopefully mean i really understand my cycles by the time we ttc number 2 and hopefully we will fall pregnant quicker but you never know.

personally i would ttc now but i am just returning to work so need to be back for a while and the memories of LO's birth are still as clear as day, which is not a good thing lol. plus my LO is at a great stage now i would hate to not enjoy it because i was pregnant and tired.

Dawn