WTT for #3, But Worried About Middle Child Syndrome

LockandKey

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 14, 2011
Messages
5,481
Reaction score
0
DH and I are waiting quite a while, until 2016 or 2017, so I've still got a bit to sort out my thoughts and feelings on TTC again, but for some reason, I always get hung up on the potentials of middle child syndrome, and I don't even know why, but it scares me so much that often I just consider sticking to the 2 I have now and leaving it at that. The thought of my little boy being left behind, or caught in the middle of "the eldest" and "the baby" really saddens me, I love him so much that it breaks my heart. I know that no matter what I would always love them all equally and try not to make anyone feel left out or left behind, but I highly doubt my ability to keep up with 3 kids, keep them entertained, or find the time to spend some one on one time with each of them.

I came from a family of 3, and my middle brother had MCS so bad that he misbehaved all the time in order to get attention, he was horrible to me, my youngest brother, and my mother, he rebelled a lot, and now that he is older, he is not doing well in his life, nor was it a good experience to grow up around. It was a huge struggle for my mother, and I am afraid of the same thing happening to me. I know every child is different, but does anyone have any advice? Thoughts?
 
Don't know if I really count since I'm technically middle by marriage, so it hasn't been since I was little. I use to be middle child with an older sister(blood) and a younger brother(step) that was around 7yrs old to 12, I didn't feel the need to act out or anything. Became a middle child again 14 yrs old to present with older sister(blood) and younger sister(step), again no issue. Actually my older sister is the wild child lol

I think mcs can be impacted by environment, and personality. I always thought it was counterproductive to be bad to get attention, so I never did that, that and I saw my sister get in trouble a lot lol

If you feel up to the challenge and can make time for all three, catering to personality I don't think you'll have a problem:flower:
 
Hi :flower: I'm one of three sisters, I'm the oldest. My middle sister is currently 21 and doing really well at university and is a really happy individual. She was always a happy kid and LOVED attention but she didn't misbehave to get it she just talked a lot and had a big personality, she wasn't a naughty child (no more than me or our littlest sister anyway). A child in any position is going to be slightly affected by it, it's just life! I had to be the responsible and reasonable one all the time and had to get our parents used to the idea of their daughters being out places by themselves, my middle sister was never the first or the last to do something and sometimes felt not as special because of it, and our little sister still gets babied by our parents a little bit (she's 19 and at uni) and as she was the last to leave home had a somewhat more intensive parenting experience than I did. I was left alone to my devices far more often and preferred it that way.

Growing up we all kept each other entertained a lot of the time and we all used to share a room because we wanted to and we got on great. We still do! I personally really like having two siblings, more people to say 'do you remember when we were kids...' and laugh all evening about it. So I'd say if you want 3 then go for it :thumbup:
 
thank you ladies for your insight :flower: it definitely helps to read some positive experiences, I'm sure it will help tremendously when my oldest starts attending school full time.
 
*subscribing*

sooo worried about this myself!! i'm a middle child, and it was horrible. i completely understand your hesitation...
 
I'm a middle child and while I wasn't perfect I don't think I was too bad. I know I had some issues when my sister was born due to losing my parents attention but that was more to do with a close age gap and my sisters extra medical needs. I have always been happy being the middle child. We had times where we didn't get along but that happens with all kids. We are pretty close now as adults.

I know how you feel though. I worry about DS2 not being my little baby any more if I have another one. He is such a special sweet boy I wouldn't want him to miss out because he's not the oldest or youngest.
 
I'm the middle of three, and without tooting my own horn I'd say I'm the most disciplined one. *toot toot* :winkwink: My aunt was the middle & she's the most awesome person I know. And my OH's brother is the middle of 3 and he's a cool guy too.

I think it really only is affected by the environment, and each child personally. I don't see it as a reason to not consider a third! I know OH & I have actually had this conversation (as we'd like three), and we both came to the same conclusion about it being perfect! We decided to sort of combat this, we'd like to have the first two close together (18-24 months hopefully), and the third after the first two started school. That way the older two wouldn't really feel the need to be babied as much. But, who knows!

Good Luck with whatever you decide! :flower:
 
I'm the middle of 3 girls and I turned out just fine! Im the only one with a degree and a husband and I bought my own house at 20. My mum reminds me of how naughty I was as a toddler though and how much of an attention seeker I was, she used to put it down to me the middle child but actually it seems like I was just born that way. My DD is EXACTLY how I was as a child, she needs to be continually challenged or played with. Hopefully it's just because she's bright!

I'm planning on having 3 kids too, I loved being able to play with my older sister and then when she got bored of me I'd boss my younger sister around, or play with her barbies when I was a little bit too old for it!
 
thank you ladies, I love hearing these positive stories :flower:

Mamabyrd, that's what we are planning too, a larger age gap (about 4 or 5 years) bewtween my 2nd and 3rd, my first two are 2 yrs and 3 months apart
 
Yeah, that set-up seems to work out really well from what I've seen. In the end, it's all about how you raise 'em :)
 
We decided to sort of combat this, we'd like to have the first two close together (18-24 months hopefully), and the third after the first two started school.

that's what we're considering, too (although we're thinking we may adopt b/c of preg/postpartum issues). my boys are 15 months apart, and if we adopt another in several years, maybe things won't be too tough for my now-youngest. my theory is, my siblings were 3 1/2 years on either side of me, so maybe my parents just didn't know what to do with me? :shrug:
 
I'm the middle one as well and I'm fine too! Also, I have a better bond with my younger sister than my brother does and a better bond with my brother than my sister does. So I'm quite happy in the middle, as the confidante of both my siblings :)
 
We were twins in the middle which changes the dynamic a bit. My DH was the middle child but his younger sister was a laatlammetjie (we use that here to describe a child born many years after the others) so he was youngest for 7 years before his sister arrived. He worries more about middle child syndrome than I do.

My youngest is quiet though and may battle to get herself heard in the middle as my eldest is very noisy and knows how to get attention. Will depend I guess on the youngest's personality.

I am waiting now for medical reasons - probably until at least March/April next year so my youngest will be at least 4 before number three arrives.
 
Iv always said if we had 2 boys I'd want to try again for a girl but dh it's sure that middle child is a no no. I'm an only child and he has a sister so we don't really know much but our God children are 2 sets of 3 and there's issues with middle child there.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,189
Messages
27,141,091
Members
255,672
Latest member
mummynugs
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"