xmas with the in laws.

[Mrs-N]

is this ok here?

hello girls.

the in laws live about 3 hours away by car and they dont get to see Joshua very often.last time was 6 weeks ago.

they dont see him very much but they dont even call to see how he is or what hes been up to. but i wont get started on that.

we have planned to go to theirs for xmas so Joshua can have a 'good' xmas.

well im now thinking twice about it.

their other grandchildren live close to them and they see them every weekend and sometimes through the week.
well i have heard that they have made plans to go and see them on xmas eve and then when they get up in the morning the girls are gonna call them so the in laws can go and watch them open their presents. then they girls are going to theirs boxing day.

all sounds fine but do they not want to see joshua?
joshua always comes second.
im not bothered that they are going to see the other grandchildren but they see them all the time and they havnt seen joshua for 6 weeks already.

they only want to know joshua when they have done everything they want to do first.

once we went round there and it took the MIL 3 hours before she actually took proper notice of joshua.

they try their dam hardest to bugger Joshua's routine up.

they wont be having xmas dinner until like 2pm but joshua is always ready for his by 12.
ive sent MIL a message today asking if it would be possible to do dinner ealrier and she has sent one back saying no not really.

im just really peed off that Joshua always comes second.

am i being stupid?

 

[moomin_troll]

i dont think ur being stupid at all.

im being made to go my inlaws for boxing day and i really dont want to go.

they didnt even make a effort to see him on his first bday his gran made plans to go newyork on his bday weekend and this was planned when he was 3 months old and dont get me started on how she acts when hes been at hers before, she moaned that he was crying (he was 2 weeks old and the second time 3 months) she made him sleep in his pram when i was ill n cudnt look after him, i was fuming.

anyway im taking over ur thread lol

i think if u r goin there they need to realise if they r goin to leave n make other plans they have to include joshua too if not then i dont see the point in u going there for it only to upset u by there lack of interest

 

[Mrs-N]

your MIL sounds like mine.

we were going on the day before xmas eve and spending the week there.

if we stay at home it will just end up being shit, we dont have family around us here really.

we most probably will still go but i know im gonna end up disapointed.
i can understand that they want to see the other grandchildren but they shouldnt forget joshua.

i dont think im gonna win either way.
mayeb if they end up not taking any notice of him ill have to open my mouth.

 

[moomin_troll]

we have very evil mils then if urs is like mine lol

shes always pulling the "we never get to see zane" card all the time but we live in the midlands and they are in glasgow. we have a small child and living on my ohs wage so we cant afford to go up to them all the time but thats what they expect and i feel like screaming.

ive had enough of families trying to drag us everywhere so next yeah ive told my oh we r not going anywhere. who ever wants to see zane can make plans and come to us....i very much doubt ile see his family

 

[Mrs-N]

oh my MIL s not bothered that she doesnt see joshua.

my FIL gets his petrol paid for by his work and they still dont come and see him.
its too much hassle for them to sit in the car and spend time with him.

last time they came down they were here for 3 hours. (oh that makes up for the 6 weeks you havnt seen him)

next year we are staying home as baby will be here and im not going through all the stress of traveling wiht 2 kids.

 

[moomin_troll]

thats ridiculas!

i really dont get why family dont care about a toddler traveling in a car for hours on end.

im really dreading going up, he doesnt sleep well anyway so being there he will hate it and ile get comments from her moaning about him crying

 

[Mrs-N]

joshua doesnt sleep well when we r there.

when we go there for a weekend they comment about ooh going already.

 

[emz87]

hope you dont mind be commenting but i have the exact same problem except i wont be spending much time with my inlaws over xmas just an hour or 2 on xmas day, but the last time they seen tyler properly was about 2 weeks ago and the only live about 10 mins away. Iv tried to get them to come down by saying that they are always welcome and if they want to see tyler just to give us a text but nope nothing!! I hate taking tyler up to theirs as there house isnt exactly the cleanest of houses plus all tylers toys are in our house. Their nice people especially my mil she is lovely i hate my fil he thinks he knows best all the time went to give tyler coke at 8 months t**t. Any way im sooo sorry for the rant when i get started i cant stop!!

 

[moomin_troll]

it drives me nuts thats family who live close dont make an effort.

my oh has just dumped on me he now wants to spend from 26th to the 1st jan there when we were supposed to only spend afew days there.

hes just lent money off his mum so i think shes guilted him into making this decision without asking me first.

ive told him it all depends on how zane sleeps there im not letting him suffer and also my mum is having a operation on the 30th and he promised wed be home by then.....

im not impressed

 

[Mrs-N]

aww hugs moomin_troll.

we are going down for xmas and gonna come back when we have had enough, just got to see if we make it past xmas day.

 

[moomin_troll]

hahaha im just going to stay till i can feel myself about to pop then its home time.

last new yrs we were there the mil said shed have zane so i could go out n have fun.

i walk in drunk at 1am and there she is zane in arm, dumped him on me said he was crying and she was going to bed!

i was so mad, so ive told me oh hes not aloud to go pub at night cuz im not leaving zane with her again n im defo not stayin in with her hahaha

 

[princessellie]

we normally go to mils for xmas day but weve not been friends this year cos of how rude she was when i got preg and the arguments weve had since, her phoning paul telling him he had to leave me cos his nan told her i said stuff i hadnt said and telling him that his dad hates me!! ive told her im having xmas at mine and if she wants to come then thats fine but we wont be going there, so now i have mil, fil and 2 bils, aswell as nan and grandad coming round for xmas dinner hahaha

id rather be at home though than go to their house, my mil and fil are rubbish at coming to see leyla, they live literally 10mins up the road, we moved to their area thinking it would help them see her more, even though i hate them lol, especially as mil works just 2mins drive from our house, i texted her when we moved telling her she was welcome to come round whenever she wanted and that she can come round every day if she wants but she still barely sees leyla once a fortnight and even then its usually cos ive texted her to ask why she hasnt been round

x

 

[rach321]

I know just how you all feel. Luckily my family and the IL's don't live close but for example one set of IL's live in Paris - we trek all the way over there (not much fun with a 1yr old who doesn't want to sit still!), they made no attempt whatsoever to babyproof the house even though they knew he was mobile. The safest thing he could do at their house was climb the stairs FFS! All that hassle and disruption to routine so FIL could spend 40 mins with LO in the whole bloody weekend! Needless to say we won't be going again in a hurry and if they want to see us then they can come over here (and stay in a hotel - not welcome to stay at my house anymore!) The other set of IL's live in Canada and we went over a few months ago and it was much better - although jetlag does nothing for your routine! My parents make life very easy for us and although its a 4 hr drive we still do it relatively often (my parents still work 7 days a week so difficult for them to visit us!). Hugs to everyone with difficult IL's !!