Yet another MIL Rant

[mrs_sasquatch]

We are on a roll today! Lol.

Mine messaged me on FB last night (She refuses to call me or be in contact in any other way), asking for a copy of my birth plan so "they" (herself and DH's stepdad) know "what to expect in l&d. Excuse me??? DH is going to be there, as well as 1-2 close friends I've asked to be backups, but his mother is someone I would never allow in the room. She stresses me out to begin with!

(Minor background: our first(married, 3rd total) Xmas together, she told him he was trapped in a loveless marriage and she'd pay for a divorce as a gift. Also, in July, when we found out our baby's gender, she made the whole week about her...from being mad that it's a girl, to blaming me for telling people she is t blame for my infertility issues (I still don't understand how I could blame her for something genetic with me). She's also caused myriad other issues over our 6 years of marriage)

but, I digress. I was polite, but very firm with her that we will not be letting anyone even know about labor until we are moved to a postpartum room. My hospital of choice has a sealed labor and delivery side, that we have to have people listed to be allowed into, and once they move us postpartum, they keep visitors away for the first two hours for bonding time. I was as nice as I could have been in explaining it...now she has spent all day today calling DH at work to tell him we don't appreciate her, and that (as her first grandbaby, which she hasn't cared about to this point), she has every right to be in the room. She even mentioned getting a court injunction to allow it. She is completely nuts.

 

[MnGmakes3]

Ha! Im sorry but that sounds almost like my MIL. I made it known early on no one is allowed in the l&d room but she still wants to know what's going on, where, how much, how high, etc...you get the point.

I would just stick to your plan and hopefully she'll deal with it.

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

Wow she sounds absolutely insane!!! I'm so pleased I have a normal MIL!! If anything my mum is the hard one, my MIL is fab! I'm hoping my mum still knows she's not,coming in the labour room because she has made a few comments that would suggest she is going to be in the labour room, even though I told her it's just me and my OH this time :/

 

[MrsA2014]

On what planet does she feel she has the right to tell you she has to be there?! I'm only having DH, my mum and possibly my sister if shes allowed in the room and having anyone else in the room or just turning up unexpected would properly stress me out! Sounds like your hospital has a good set up though!

 

[Larkspur]

Wow, that's so nuts that you sort of have to laugh!

I would just tell her (or get OH to tell her), "Well, I'm sorry you're disappointed. But we've made our decision. If you want to speak to a lawyer about that, you're free to do so."

If she does actually talk to a lawyer, I would say they won't be too diplomatic about her chances (zero) of getting a court injunction to allow her in the room, and will possibly even suggest that the law does not entitle her to any kind of relationship with her grandchild at all, so if she wants to play Grandma, her best bet is to settle the hell down and start being nice.

 

[Misscalais]

She sounds like a nut case.
I understand that mother in laws feel left out, most dil allow their mums in but not the mil and i can understand that would hurt ( i have 3 boys and the way things go looks like ill probably never get to see my grand children enter the world. Hopefully though ill have good relationships with mine ) but when you're in bad terms to begin with why on earth would she think you'd want her there?
My mil is in a league of her own when it comes to awful people. We no longer speak, she hasn't even met DS3. I only have DH with me not even my own mum but she was still annoyed.
I'd just let it go, she can see baby after.

 

[Rainstorm]

Ah I need to vent as well. My MIL was annoyed cos she was supposed to babysit DS while I was in labour and she would miss it. Now it turns out I will be induced, and I have to go to the hospital early morning so DS will stay home and my aun who lives next door will come and stay with him during labour. It sounds logical and MIL will take him to her house after he goes meet his sister and he will spend the night with her. I'm annoyed that she got away with it. I'm being completely irrational and I dont care LOL

 

[Dill]

Ugh, I can sympathize! I have the MIL from hell and I just found out today that she tried to invite herself along (to my husband, of course, because she knows he's less likely to every tell her no to anything). Oh, but she's willing to respect my need for privacy by waiting in the waiting room until I'm done!

I DON'T THINK SO!

She already knows we want it to be just us 3 (me, hubby, baby). I can't believe the balls on this woman. The answer is NO. I am so glad that he backs me 100% and also has a deep desire for this to just be ours. I told him I don't even want to tell anyone when I go into labor because I don't want anyone spreading it around on Facebook or trying to show up at the center, and he agrees. Thank god.

 

[mrs_sasquatch]

I feel like we need a crazy MIL thread!!! There are so many nutty ones out there.

 

[Dill]

We could get together and write a book on our crazy MILs.

Mine is now trying to BRIBE us to let her be present by offering to buy us more baby stuff.

 

[Blu10]

I think id have to tell her to P*SS RIGHT OFF!!!!! How rude! I cant believe anyone would invite themself to the birth of aomeone elses baby 😨 the mind boggles

 

[mrs_sasquatch]

Oh boy, Dill!! That would drive me insane! Mine has offered to purchase things, but she never comes through, so we just ignore that aspect at this point.

 

[Dill]

Mine likes to do favors out of the kindness of her generous heart... which she then uses at a later date as a blank check. She has actually told my husband to give her money because he "owes her" for raising him. Not even kidding.

 

[Spudtastic]

That's just crazy. I really feel for you. I'd tell her absolutely not. I only want dh and midwife/medical staff there. For me i need my space to get through the pain and stay in the zone. Plus I don't think I'd want my mil looking at my cervix etc.
Perhaps you should invite yourself along to her next smear test (pap smear) and see what she says lol.

 

[Dill]

The staff at the birthing center has already been informed--via my preregistration paperwork--that my MIL is not allowed. Highly recommend that anyone else with problematic relatives do the same!!!

 

[mrs_sasquatch]

That's just crazy. I really feel for you. I'd tell her absolutely not. I only want dh and midwife/medical staff there. For me i need my space to get through the pain and stay in the zone. Plus I don't think I'd want my mil looking at my cervix etc.
Perhaps you should invite yourself along to her next smear test (pap smear) and see what she says lol.

Bahahahaha! No joke! I have it set up so that DH is there, and my backup birth partner (my friend Liz) is there as well. I want as few people as possible, and the only reason I even have a backup is because DH's job has locations all over Wisconsin and if he happens to be somewhere else, I don't want to be alone.