You and your OH?

kateqpr

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Not sure if this is the right place to put this, but is anyone else struggling a bit with their relationship with their OH?

Poppy's only 2 weeks, and everything at home still feels like a big struggle for me (BF'ing, sleepless nights, the whole coming to terms with a traumatic birth etc). I've been really emotional, and crying most days. But i seem to feel very clingy to my OH - really needing his reassurance and support, plus scared that things will change between us for the worst. I know it's all coming from me, as he;s being enormously supportive, but it still doesn;t stop me crying loads and taking my tiredness out on him. I just feel like i want him to not go to work and be home with us all the time (though i'm sure this is just part of the adjustment and hormones balancing out).

I'm normally incredible rational and reasonable, so know this isn't my usual self feeling this. Just wondered if anyone else was feeling fragile and worried how it would effect their relationship. And what have you done to make it better?

Thanks x
 
:hug: I think everyone feels like this in the 1st few weeks as its a MAJOR adjustment. But it does get better and easier, And my realtionship with OH has changed but its not worse just diff :) XxxX
 
Oh hun I totally know what you mean! I've been home for just over a week and all I do is cry and cry and cry some more! It's so hard because my OH is gone during the day for work and I look after her during the day and night. I also take my emotions/tiredness out on OH but luckily he's very supportive about it.
We just make sure to have some time to ourselves in the evenings. Even if it is only 1/2 an hour, we make sure she is put down and then just cuddle up and watch some tv. I think the first few weeks everyone goes through this. Once the hormones balance out I think it will all get better :hugs:
 
Sounds all completely normal to me!

Having a baby is a huge adjustment to any relationship, it will get easier, honest!
 
I think everyone goes through that after the first few weeks. I breastfed for 2 weeks AND did ALL the night feeds etc while my then OH slept soundly through. I used to sob while I was BFing because it hurt so much and I was getting practically no help from him. Our relationship was rocky the minute Grace was born though which didn't help. I'm sure it'll all blow over soon and you'll get rid of the baby blues :)
 
:hugs: don't worry honey, it takes time and having to cope with a new baby is really stressful. I cry and yell at Matt especially if Alex is crying or I've had a stressful day and I resent him just being able to carry on his own business and only having a slight awareness of Alex's needs.

You know I'm always here if you need a chat xx
 
its normal hunni i cried the whole first week my OH went back to work but as soon as you get your own little routine going youll be fine hunni :hugs: xx
 
I can imagine it really hard if your breatsfeeding. This is another reason that i choose to bottle feed as i wanted us both in the feeding part, so we could equal out the feeding part. You could try expressing so it gives you a little break.

I can remember in the first week i was scared that the relationship would change but its hasnt.

I had a very emotional and difficult labour and teh 8 days after was just awful with the pain, but i must admit my OH was brill.

I would say it must be hard also for the man as they say the partner crying and to them they not used to it, but i think they know its a pregnancy thing.

I would say the perfect solution is equal out the duties dont try to do everything, if you do you will get burn out and take it out on OH and it will effect your relation.

Also i think this fragile moment is normal and by about 4 weeks you wil have your own routine going whilst he is at work.
 
i didnt get emotional but i did feel clingy to other half and when he went back to work i felt lost, we have a routine now and everything has settled down. now when he is home on the weekend and he doesnt follow my routine it drives me mad LOL

hope you feel better soon hun

Lou
xxx
 
I was really bad for about 4 weeks, emotional and crying loads, and then the last two weeks I have had good days and bad days so it does get better in time. I find Sunday afternoons/evenings hard as I start thinking about my OH going off to work the next day and facing the whole week ahead on my own, but then once Monday comes it's not so bad at all and you settle into things. I find I get the blues much more in the evenings in general, when I'm tired and half dreading getting up in the night etc.
 
Ive been like this too finding it hard with 2 little ones and having a newborn again
 
my dh works nights and the hours leading up to him going im moody and horrible to him then when he goes i sit here and cry
i think its pretty normal to feel a little fragile in the first few weeks until things settle into a routine (archie is 3 weeks) and just a case of hormone overload and tiredness
 
In the first couple of weeks I hardly ever slept. I'd be up at night sitting in the living room on my own sobbing every night.

It does get easier :hugs:
 
The first few weeks are very difficult. I still sometimes just sit there and cry.
I had a lot of problems with my OH so thats normal. Having a newborn is very hard.
But it will get better
xxx
 
It is hard no matter what. I did decide after trying to bf that ffing was better for us all. I needed the break that bfing doesnt offer.. And it gave my oh time with our baby and I got a break. The sleeplessness is hard, luckily once she was on formula she slept 4 hour stretches in the night.

But even with that, there are lots of other things that have changed in our relationship... Its been a big adjustment for us all.
 
so so normal :hugs: Your relationship will change and it will be tested in the first few months (well mine was at least) but it does get better
 

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