you WANT a boy!?

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by Paigeturner, Feb 12, 2013.

  1. Paigeturner

    Paigeturner Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2012
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    "you WANT a boy!?"...

    Was the first thing my mother said when she asked me what I would
    prefer. Um Yes?

    Whats with Grandmothers wanting Grandaughters? If baby is a boy
    will she not love it as much?

    I mean sure I have a preference but if baby turns out to be a girl,
    it would not be such a bad thing either.

    Anyones partner/mother etc not reacting well to the fact you have a
    preference and the balls to admit it?? And why is wanting a boy such
    a bad thing??
  2. Firestar

    Firestar Pregnant with first :)

    Nov 25, 2012
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    I totally sympathise with this - I'm on this part of the forum for exactly the same reason............

    I am MORE than happy to be having a son, (we found out on Jan 2nd) and although all 4 grandparents are happy because baby appears happy and healthy, I knew my mum secretly wanted a grand-daughter.

    I remember dialling her number in from the car park at the hospital and feeling quite mixed about telling her as ever since I announced my pregnancy, she has made it quite obvious that she'd love a grand daughter.

    I know my mum inside out, and I could pick up on her disappointment when I told her, which left me feeling pretty rubbish for a day or two I have to say. I actually posted a thread in the forum at the time on this.

    I had it out with her a couple of days later, and it seems to have done the trick. She has been honest that, yes, she would have preferred a grand daughter, but she is happy and that the baby being healthy is far more important than gender. We talked it all through, and since then, she has become genuinely excited about the prospect of her grandson (the knitting needles have been out in force), and just occasionally there are still comments that she makes, such as we were in Debenhams a few weeks ago, she saw a dress and said "oh well, maybe next time". Rather than let it go, I asked her about it and it did turn out she was joking.

    I accept that she wanted a grand daughter - she hasn't got one, that's not my problem, but it's been pretty good actually watching her come round to the idea of her grandson - I honestly think she's over the initial disappointment.

    Only you know what your relationship with your mum is like, but from my experience, if you can, it's well worth talking it all through with her, finding out why she's so desperate for a grand daughter, and even speak about your fears that she'll love the baby less if he's a boy.

    Good luck with it - it's hard when parents react a certain way, especially when it's about something as important as your baby, but talking it out can help :)
  3. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2012
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    I had similar reactions from friends, so not as bad as being a family member but still not nice. I wanted boys to start with, I'm now here hoping for a girl as I have my boys. But I won't love my baby any less if it turns out to be a 4th boy. One of my friends when I told her my 1st was a boy actually said "I'm sorry, are you disappointed?" Erm, no! I wanted a boy.
    I do have a few family members who really want more girls in the family as its very male dominated, so I'm expecting them to bring going on about whether it will be a girl once we finally tell them
  4. i had a lot of reactions like that. we found out we were expecting a boy and i was ESTATIC. i've always wanted a son because i grew up with two sisters and just.. drama! i really wanted a boy and i just love that he'll carry on DH's family name.

    i am super girly though and i guess a lot of people expected me to want a girl. i love my little boy so much though, i dont care what anyone else has said, i LOVE him!

    if i happen to have another baby, i might be a bit disappointed if it's a girl because i've had so much fun with DS. my hubby wants a girl so bad though so it might be okay.
  5. curlylocks

    curlylocks Well-Known Member

    Oct 7, 2008
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    My experience is very similar to Firestar's although we were team yellow up until the birth of my gorgeous little boy. (I secretly wanted a girl)
    Now I am pregnant with number 2 and I have tried swaying for team pink (won't find out until May). What's annoying is I do have the same genders preference as my mum, although would NEVER dream of letting on to anyone other than DH and you girls on here!!
    I would love to have a girl but think my son would love a brother so am focusing on that.
    Sorry I have no advice. Hope you get your boy. Xxx
  6. Misscalais

    Misscalais Well-Known Member

    Sep 5, 2012
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    Wow what a crappy reaction on your mothers part. The 1st three grand kids in our family are boys then my niece came along. No one favors either sex.
    I think everyone wants me to have a girl this time round though because they know how badly I want a daughter for our last child lol.
    I also wanted a boy with my 1st and that's what I got.
  7. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

    Dec 17, 2008
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    Everyone wants this baby to be a girl....except me it would seem. Don't get me wrong, I would love my child no matter what, but I'm not sure I'd know what to do with a girl now. I'm actually quite scared of a girl but not scared enough to get a scan etc. We'll be staying team yellow. I'm just dreading it if we do end up with a lovely little girl, she'll be favoured over the boys, or they'll be all over this little one and ignore me and hubby etc. It would be so much simpler to have another boy. We'll get what we're given though I suppose, and with 2 older brothers, she'll not be the girliest lol. All the predictors are saying girl - but my pregnancy is the same as with the 2 boys. :shrug:
  8. MrsClark24

    MrsClark24 Well-Known Member

    Nov 7, 2012
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    I had this. I wanted a boy, my hubby wanted a boy, ALLL OF MY FAMILY wanted a girl.

    Turns out we are having a girl (which I have got my head around) and the are all so chuffed with it. I sort of wish that she turns out to be a he and gives them a shock :)
  9. BabyCleo

    BabyCleo New mama to Lily-Grace

    Oct 25, 2012
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    my mum said the same thing one day when we were just discussing the future!! i outright said it was unfair and it would one day be my baby, so basically suck it up. we dont talk anymore at all, so it dosent matter now. dont let it get you down though, as long as your happy and healthy thats all that matters :) xox

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