younger brother/sister having a baby before you, jelous?

Fallen angel - I am with you... Not that you all want a life story but here's mine: my mum was too young when she had me and my sister (21yrs for me and 22 for my sister) by the time she was 22.5 she was on her own with 2 kids, of course she loved us and told us so but she desperately didn't want us in that position (understandably) so she always told us that our children were ours (I think so we were leaning towards to staying with their dad) and that she had worked hard to raise us and wanted to thouroughly enjoy her grandchildren.

I took from this what I was supposed to and set to work getting a life, went to uni and everything and met someone, as long as 4 years ago I wanted a baby but we decided to wait, I had this ethic that had been passed to me from my mum... My sister got pregnant at 20... She has to have an implant my sister AND the BCP she is super fertile as is my mum... All the while I was planning for this ideal life that would welcome children and SHE my younger sister that had NOTHING was pregnant... I don't know how I coped but I did... I was soo mad and it helped to talk to my mum about it, kind of like you should have first grandchild because you ARE the oldest and get all the crap growing up :rofl: I am happy to report that it passed quite quickly for me and i've not been too bad for jealousy since. I find it helpful to remember that I want MY pregnancy, announcements, birth and baby NOT theirs... It really does kind of help!

I hope you all get the beautiful babies you deserve :kiss:
 
i am the youngest in my family (to my mum....my dad has 2 more). anyway.... erm its sometimes tough on the younger ones too. well in my case it was.
my brother is the eldest and he already had a son so i didnt feel bad, and my eldest sister has 3 girls, but my other sister hasnt got any children.
her partner is older so he already has children and recently has said that he isnt too sure about having more (which is unfair on her now), she also has PCOS. she would love a child but her situation means she cant. tbh i think she needs to think whether her relationship is worth not having children, shes unhappy about it so i think she needs to decide what will make her more happy.
also my eldest sister (with 3 girls) was trying for a baby.
so when i found out i was pregnant with my son i felt so guilty, and i felt like it should have been them and not me....... even though i was in a loving relationship, engaged and we were trying for a baby. but i couldnt shake the feeling of guilt, i was worried what they were thinking/feeling about it.

but thankfully they supported me through it and made me feel at ease.....

i dont think you are silly for the way you feel. because i do think its unfair that some people get pregnant so freaking easy and some people take months, even years of trying.
my main annoyance is those girls who dont even want a baby but they get pregnant and moan about it, and then theres people like my sister who wont get the opportunity.

you have every right to feel jealous etc, i would be if i was in your shoes. erm but i dont think its fair to have felt relieved, even a little. miscarriage isnt fair on anyone, no matter what the circumstance.
but thats my opinion. some people might not like what i said but i think everyone is entitled to their opinions.

when it does happen you will feel more excitement etc than someone who gets pregnant straight away.

hope you get your bfp soon. :) :dust: xx
 
Oh my gosh, I'm insanely jealous! My brother was going through a "crisis" and convinced this girl to let him knock her up. This seriously happened! He got her pregnant the first time and drug her back to Missouri to go live with our mom.

This girl is a moron, and doesn't take care of my nephew at all. It's really sad, and pisses me off more often than not, because she doesn't seem to give a damn at all. He's had 8 staph infections, and 6 surgeries due to it, she won't clean the house to get rid of it even though the doctors have begged her to, and 90% of the time he's with my mom because as my grandma says: "She'll just give that kid to Jack the Ripper if you let her- just so she doesn't have to deal with him!"

It's *so* infuriating! I've told my mom several times that for the sake of the kid, Social Services should be called, but she tells me to "leave it alone." Then when I suggest that she adopt him and get him away, she says she doesn't have time to take care of him...well he's over there 90% of the time anyway! Ughhh! And even if I called SS, where they live they wouldn't do anything because she's not shaking the kid! That's all they care about! Auuuugh!

I'm jealous, because here my hubby and I are, in a loving, steady relationship- we did everything right, waited until we were ready...and nothing. But it's doubly aggravating because I feel so bad for my poor nephew... ;_;
 
Yanagisan - I'd call SS if I were you, regardless of their reputation in your brother's area. I mean, if push came to shove, you could get the doctors who treated your nephew on board as well. It's better than sitting back and watching that baby suffer...

I hope everything works out for you and for your little nephew :)

Baby dust xx
 
See this is where life is so flippin unfair! Why on earth can people who just abuse and neglect children get pregnant so god damn quickly and easily :growlmad: They don't deserve children. I really hope something gets sorted to help your little nephew Yanagisan

Back to the original post on this thread, I have a younger brother who is getting married next year. I would obviously be delighted to become an aunt one day but as their wedding draws closer I am terrified I will be still here trying and they will have a child first :cry: I am the oldest, there is just me and my brother, and I am desperate to give my parents a grandchild. I want this :baby: as much for them as for me and OH. They will be such fantastic grandparents. It is different for OH as his younger sister already had a boy of 11 so he became an uncle long ago and so his mom already has a grandchild x
 
fallen angel that made me cry!! that was lovely, your totally right! when we have our baabies they will be soooo wanted and loved! x

4magpies how does a damaged tube effect you? is it harder to get pregnant x
 
My chances are halved.... every other month is pointless.

Xxx
 
firstbaby25 are you trying for a baby or you still waiting?
its hard to come to terms with the fact that we are being sensible and got a life we love before we planned a baby and other dont think about how they will support a baby before getting pregnant. then they expect others to support there baby! its not fair how some people think.

angelmyky your entitled to your opinion and no one would get upset for you saying either. its very sad about people who have to live with the fact that they can not have children, that would kill me and i could not be in a relationship where my partner would not want a child, no matter how much i loved that person, you have to want the same things or the relationship would eventually break down.

yanagisan that is terrible! iv heard that if you havent got a will and you died, your children wouldnt go straight to your family, they would go to SS 1st so iv heard! so your mum might see it as, if she has him all the time anyway or most of the time whats the point in calling them, and you know what older people are like, they dont want to cause any fricsion between people, it would prob split your family in half. but its not fair on that poor child, who didnt ask to be born!!
 
oh 4magpies!! so you have to try doubley hard to fall pregnant, its not pointless because you want a baby x
 
im so glad so many people agree with me, and im not the only jelous person!! makes me feel a little normal x
 
My chances are halved.... every other month is pointless.

Xxx

heya, i read in zita west's fertility book that the fallopian tubes don't necessarily take it in turns each month, and that also it *is* possible for the fallopian tube to sweep up an eggy from the other side!! so even if you have a blocked tube there's still a chance that on the off month your body still might manage it, so don't give up hope! :flower:
 
Id be gutted. My younger cousin had a baby 2 years ago, he was only 18 at the time and hadnt been with his girl for long. I couldnt believe it. I was reallly jealous that he'd have the first great grand child. But i see how he struggles and im glad i waited. Him and the mother of his daughter arent together no more and she hardly lets him see that baby. I was suprised at how good he is as a dad though tbh.
 
My younger sister (we're two years apart) has been pregnant 5 times and has two kids.

I feel so behind because I've never been pregnant and of course I have zero kids. I was told that because I have suspected PCOS I may never have children and that's really bummed me out.

I've done one round of clomid and it was a bfn. Around that time my sister told me that one of her friends (a girl we grew up with) is about 7-8 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child and that's how pregnant I would be if the clomid had worked. I got so sad and my sister really didn't understand why. TTC when your whole family is fertile can be very tough.
 
My chances are halved.... every other month is pointless.

Xxx

heya, i read in zita west's fertility book that the fallopian tubes don't necessarily take it in turns each month, and that also it *is* possible for the fallopian tube to sweep up an eggy from the other side!! so even if you have a blocked tube there's still a chance that on the off month your body still might manage it, so don't give up hope! :flower:

Not if you tube is stuck to your insides and cant move.

Thanks for the input though. :flower:

xxx
 
I know I'm bumping an old thread but I seriously hope someone understands. My 17 year old sister is pregnant and has a boyfriend I don't see staying. They have jobs, they finished school and I honestly feel so damn depressed about waiting since she told me it's unreal. My fiancé and I have been struggling to stay on our feet between me only being able to get seasonal jobs and my fiancé got laid off 3 days before valentines day and she gets everything handed to her on a golden platter (it's been like this my whole life) and I cry everytime she leaves almost and I'm dreading going to the baby shower or even the hospital when she gets EVERYTHING I want. She hasn't been struggling at all her whole life and it's always been hard as he'll for me and as soon as I want a baby - boom she gets pregnant. I feel so much resentment towards her for always stealing the spotlight. My fiancé wants to wait for like 5 years and it seems so horribly long to me especially since I have issues with having a normal menstrual cycle. :/ sorry for my long first post but I hope someone will finally understand.
 
I know I'm bumping an old thread but I seriously hope someone understands. My 17 year old sister is pregnant and has a boyfriend I don't see staying. They have jobs, they finished school and I honestly feel so damn depressed about waiting since she told me it's unreal. My fiancé and I have been struggling to stay on our feet between me only being able to get seasonal jobs and my fiancé got laid off 3 days before valentines day and she gets everything handed to her on a golden platter (it's been like this my whole life) and I cry everytime she leaves almost and I'm dreading going to the baby shower or even the hospital when she gets EVERYTHING I want. She hasn't been struggling at all her whole life and it's always been hard as he'll for me and as soon as I want a baby - boom she gets pregnant. I feel so much resentment towards her for always stealing the spotlight. My fiancé wants to wait for like 5 years and it seems so horribly long to me especially since I have issues with having a normal menstrual cycle. :/ sorry for my long first post but I hope someone will finally understand.


Krissy darlin, I do understand. My own sister is 4 years younger than me, seems to have it an easy ride and is currently 5 months pregnant with a little boy. I do understand the feeling.

However, we can't be mad at them for "stealing the spotlight". We can't expect our siblings to get sterlized or abstain from sex until we get pregnant first. Just because we are the oldest child it doesn't mean we have a god given right to have the first grandchild.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's what I've had to say to myself over and over again.

Your sisters easy life is now about to end. It's not easy being a parent, especially at 17 years old and possibly a single mother in the near future. She's going to struggle and I'll bet you in later years although she'll love her child, she'll see you pregnant for the first time in your nice stable relationship and think "I wish it could have been like that for me".

I would suggest going to the docs about your irregular cycles now hon, even though you aren't technically trying. If there is an issue like PCOS, they can start you on the medication now so that when you do try, the problem is fixed.

Sending you hugs x
 
I try so hard to not be jealous but somedays I can't even talk to her because of the way it makes me feel. Ive just been faking happy for her and trying to be supportive but inside it drives me nuts. As far as PCOS goes I'm not sure how to get tested, I go to planned parenthood because it's the only female gyno in my town and I told them when I want in that I have irregular cycles and they never did anything but give me birth control. I've gone up to 6 months w/o a period and I have never been pregnant
 
Ok honey, I'm going to advise you to do something a bit naughty but bear with me.

Go to your clinic and say you are trying for a baby (I know you're not) but that you've noticed your cycles are crazy and you're not sure whether you are ovulating. They can't then just throw birth control pills at you.

What they should do is take some blood tests - Thyroid function (this can make your cycles irregular, I have it) FSH just to rule out the nasties and Insulin, LH and testosterone to check for PCOS.

If like me, your thyroid is the issue, they just put you on meds and after a while your cycle will regulate. If it's PCOS, again you just take tablets to start with and it should help you. If there is no issue but you just have irregular cycles and ovulate often, your mind is set at rest .

And I do understand your feelings about your sister - I felt similar too. But my sister has already said that she's jealous of ME because I'm in a stable happy marriage and when I have a baby I'll have less of a struggle. I guarantee you that at some point, your sister will be jealous of you too - for having the youth she never had and for having a stable relationship to bring a baby in to
 
I know I'm bumping an old thread but I seriously hope someone understands. My 17 year old sister is pregnant and has a boyfriend I don't see staying. They have jobs, they finished school and I honestly feel so damn depressed about waiting since she told me it's unreal. My fiancé and I have been struggling to stay on our feet between me only being able to get seasonal jobs and my fiancé got laid off 3 days before valentines day and she gets everything handed to her on a golden platter (it's been like this my whole life) and I cry everytime she leaves almost and I'm dreading going to the baby shower or even the hospital when she gets EVERYTHING I want. She hasn't been struggling at all her whole life and it's always been hard as he'll for me and as soon as I want a baby - boom she gets pregnant. I feel so much resentment towards her for always stealing the spotlight. My fiancé wants to wait for like 5 years and it seems so horribly long to me especially since I have issues with having a normal menstrual cycle. :/ sorry for my long first post but I hope someone will finally understand.

I would feel exactly the same as you!! its not always right to feel jelous of other people and family but we do get like that.
my sister in law has 3 children , her 1st at 18, she had nothing, never had a job and now at 27 she has still never had a job and my mother in law gives her everything.
says to us she shes proud of us for doing it the right way and being independant etc but when we were all together this weekend we were talking about my father in law retiring, and SIL pipes up ans says no dad dont forget you have to keep me in a life i am accustomed too!!! and they laugh!!! im thinking, she wasnt joking, and they just let her get away with it, time after time.
your family will be proud of you for waiting and doing it the ''right'' way, but as my mother in law has said to me, its not the childrens fault, they werent asked to be born to a mother and father how havnt got anything. she says while i am able to help them, thats what i like to do and tho it seems we give everything to them on a plate, its for the children not her!
life isnt fair! but you have to do whats right for you and your partner.
i have a very irregular peroid too and have not seen doctors about it as it only started when i started trying, so have put it down to stress, so do not stress about your sister as it will effect you only. not her! xx
 
Ok honey, I'm going to advise you to do something a bit naughty but bear with me.

Go to your clinic and say you are trying for a baby (I know you're not) but that you've noticed your cycles are crazy and you're not sure whether you are ovulating. They can't then just throw birth control pills at you.

What they should do is take some blood tests - Thyroid function (this can make your cycles irregular, I have it) FSH just to rule out the nasties and Insulin, LH and testosterone to check for PCOS.

If like me, your thyroid is the issue, they just put you on meds and after a while your cycle will regulate. If it's PCOS, again you just take tablets to start with and it should help you. If there is no issue but you just have irregular cycles and ovulate often, your mind is set at rest .

And I do understand your feelings about your sister - I felt similar too. But my sister has already said that she's jealous of ME because I'm in a stable happy marriage and when I have a baby I'll have less of a struggle. I guarantee you that at some point, your sister will be jealous of you too - for having the youth she never had and for having a stable relationship to bring a baby in to

I had a thyroid function test before and the results came back normal, but I've never been tested for PCOS. I thought about finding a gyno that works with Magee Womens here in PA because that'd be my preferred hospital when I do go to have kids and then I'd already have a gyno that I knew for a long time and just like, asking them to be tested, now that I have health insurance back.
 

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