Your Opinions?

[im-sorry-x]

Hi guys, i don't know if i'm pregnant yet, but I just want your opinions..
do you think it's cruel to bring up a child at 14 with no job or anything, obviously, the father would be still around and i think my parents would support as much as they could, but with the credit crunch at the mo they hardly would be able to. is it wrong? if any teen mums/mums to be could talk to me it would be appreciated
xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

I wouldn't say it was cruel. It's certainly not ideal but not a lot of things in life are. Sometimes you need to be responsible and do everything you possibly can

 

[im-sorry-x]

Sometimes you need to be responsible and do everything you possibly can

yeah..i wish i'd been responsible actually, it is more trouble than it's worth..

 

[AppleBlossom]

A lot of girls your age just don't think. At 14 you are still immature, babies and contraception don't cross your mind, especially when you're having sex for the first time. I lost my virginity at 15 and although I used protection, the reality of what could happen if I didn't just didn't occur to me because I was just a kid!

I hope none of that sounds offensive!

 

[CallieBert]

Hi guys, i don't know if i'm pregnant yet, but I just want your opinions..
do you think it's cruel to bring up a child at 14 with no job or anything, obviously, the father would be still around and i think my parents would support as much as they could, but with the credit crunch at the mo they hardly would be able to. is it wrong? if any teen mums/mums to be could talk to me it would be appreciated
xxx

Hun. I wouldnt make any decisions based on money issues. Seriously. I know its one of the first things you think of, but there is so much help out there for people in those situations. As for the father, dont make any decisions based on him either! I did, and I am now a single mother to be. But tbh I now prefer it that way, and there are so many people in that situation too. All you need to think about? Is will you LOVE, and care for him/her?. Because to be honest, (I know they do need alot more) but all that matters when it really comes to the crunch is that they have LOVE. A baby will be happy with that. Never let age become an issue. Young mums can do it as well as older ones. My friend had her little girl at 13, shes now 18 and Kayla (her little girl) is her LIFE, and has been so well brought up. You need to seriously think through if you will love your child, and if you wont regret it if you make a rash decision. But it is definatly NOT cruel to bring up a child young. As long as you love them age does not matter, dont let anyone tell you it does
Thats my advice . Hope it helps

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I agree with what Bexy said. I dont think its cruel but it would be very hard.

By the look of ur sig you are not ready for, nor do you want a baby, but by asking this question you're implying you would think of keeping it if you were pregnant? (Just asking, bit confused )

Either way, i hope you get the result you want, and if you are not pregnant, let the scare teach you the lesson to use contraception in the future xx

 

[dreamer56]

hey hun
firstly chill.. these things happen! look how many of us there are on this site lots of teens are/have been pregnant and for years teens have and for years teens always will.. it happens!
credit crunch isnt a reason to choose what you are going to do if you are pregnant.. at the end of the day there is so much support out there for you, you will always be able to make it work.
it wouldnt be cruel, you just need to be prepared to do whatever you can to look after your baby.
good luck xxxx

 

[xarlenex]

I dont understand why you're asking this question when you have "Fingers crossed for BFN" in your signature?

Its a bit insensitive when alot of women on here are trying so hard.
Sorry if its out of line saying this, just personal opinion.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I agree with Arlene, I didn't notice your sig, you should probably delete it as it may seem insensitive to those who have been trying really hard for BFP's

 

[CallieBert]

I'm not going to lie here. Before I took my test? I was praying for it to be negative. I was scared. 16. And alone. But now that I have my head around it? I am so excited, and so blessed. But I can see where shes coming from girls.

They are right, maybe not the best idea to have it in your sig though hun.

 

[xarlenex]

I agree, I was just 17..a big part of me wanted it to be negetive as well. And in that sense, its fine. But I think its totally insenstive and inappropriate to come on the forum like this were so many women are clearly wanting this so bad. Many, many women have lost their babies and to have something like that as your signature just doesn't seem right.

 

[CallieBert]

Yes I agree. I also see your from Scotland Me too x

 

[nikky0907]

Frankly girls, this is a section that was made precisly for girls who have found themselves facing a pregnancy (or possibly facing one) a a young age. Most of it is unplanned.

I know that I was praying for a too... I haven't seen this girl posting anywhere else but this section, where most members who have been trying for years don't go in. This whole section has a tendency to upset a TTC'ing person, not just because of one signature.

I wouldn't call it cruel, no...but would definitely advise you to think long and hard about this and talk to your parents before commiting to anything.
It's gonna be very hard but absolutely nothing says to me that you can't be a good mother.

 

[Webbykinskt]

I can totally understand your point... but i agree your sig is unfair. Saying it in one post is different to putting it in your signature. I'm not TTC but I would be so happy if I had a little 'surprise' so I find it quite offensive. I hope you get your BFN as you don't seem to want a baby...

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I can totally understand your point... but i agree your sig is unfair. Saying it in one post is different to putting it in your signature. I'm not TTC but I would be so happy if I had a little 'surprise' so I find it quite offensive. I hope you get your BFN as you don't seem to want a baby...

Not picking on your response specifically webbykins, is just yours is that last one and i'm too lazy to go back and quote someone else.

I'm in a similar situation as webbykins and would love to be pregnant although i'm not 100% actively TTC.

Personally i don't find her signature offensive at all. As Amy (nikky0907) said, this section is mostly avoided by those having difficulty conceiving mainly because there are so many surprise pregnancies in this section. My first thoughts upon reading her signature were that she is willing to face up to responsibility if she is pregnant as it seems from her first post but that she would prefer not to be pregnant. I'm sure many of those who had surprise pregnancies at a young age would have preffered the test to be negative. I don't think she meant any offence to anyone by it. Just that she feels unready to have a baby now, but would cope if she had to.

In answer to your original question, i don't think it's cruel to bring up a baby at a young age but it would be very difficult xx

 

[Vickie]

I'm sorry but I don't see how it is wrong for a FOURTEEN year old to hope to not be pregnant?? I don't understand why anyone would be offended by her having that in her siggy.

 

[lesleyann]

i dont think it would be cruel, it would be very very hard though..

As to the whole siggy thing if shes not posting anywhere else and most people who would be upset by it would not come looking into a teen pregnancy section at all to be offended by it? IDK ... ITs better than having a 14 year old sig sayign wishing for a BFP.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I'm sorry but I don't see how it is wrong for a FOURTEEN year old to hope to not be pregnant?? I don't understand why anyone would be offended by her having that in her siggy.

Is what i wanted to say but didn't want to be so blunt

If she feels unready for a child surely a bfn would be the best outcome? xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

No not cruel, however it is irresponsible if you are trying to have a baby in your circumstances IMO. I hope you get the result you want.

 

[Vickie]

probably shouldn't have been so blunt but it really does confuse me as to how anyone could possible take offense.

As Nikky said this area of the forum is for teenage girls, a lot of whom find themselves in the exact same situation. If you are a person who feels sensitive to accidental bfps etc. this is probably an area of the forum to avoid.