15 week loss**updated**

[mommyof_4]

I went in for my appt on tues, had trouble finding the baby's hb. At one point she thought she passed over the hb, she said she would just send me in for an ultrasound. Ultrasound showed a 11 week fetus with no hb. The ultrasound tech didn't do much looking at the baby, more my overies.

The strange parts,
I still have strong pregnancy symptoms (when do they go away?).
My midwife thought she passed the hb.
I was measuring right on track, if not a little bigger.
I have no bleeding nor cramping.
I still feel flutters...( this was baby #6, so I am very aware of what the flutters feel like)


They want me to take some medication to expell the baby from me, I can't seem to do it. Until I see blood or even don't feel pregnant anymore I can't take something.

My midwife said she is 99% sure it is dead. I want her to be 200% sure before I take something. I had my blood drawn yesterday, and will again on Monday to show dropping levels. I can't help holding on to hope, it is torture. I am trying to not hold on to hope, but I guess we just do until it is completely obvious.

My only hope I hold is that their were 2, and what he saw was the 2nd baby. I was 9 weeks at my last appt, and I was measuring at least 13-14 weeks.

I have had a early loss before (7 weeks, but baby died at 4 weeks). I am scared about the baby coming out! I am scared of panicking.

If the emotional part is not enough, it sucks we have to go thought the physical part too!!!

This sucks!

 

[mhazzab]

I'm sorry you have had to come and find us here.

of course you want to be more than 100% sure before you take anything to induce labour, I certainly would want to be. Make sure you get all the information you need from your doctors before you make any decision and that you are completely convinced that the heart has stopped beating. You have been pregnant several times, so if you think you can feel baby moving, I can see why you might not be convinced. Did you see any movement on the ultrasound? If the tech didn't focus for long on the baby itself, maybe you need to get back in there, so you can see for yourself.

As far as I am aware, even if baby has died, sometimes you can still have symptoms for a while, and you don't always get bleeding or cramping straight away. If the heart has stopped beating very recently, this might explain why baby isn't measuring behind.

I really hope that they have made a mistake but if they are right, please know we are here to support you through this. Don't make any decisions until you are completely convinced.

hugs xxx

 

[Hellylou]

How awful! I would certainly go back for more tests, scans and checks before making any decision, especially as you feel flutters still. I know the mind can play tricks on you, but you certainly need to be absolutely positive there is no hope.

Keeping everything crossed for a happy outcome for you.

 

[SarahJane]

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this babe.

I really hope they have it wrong and you get some good news

I just wanted to help with some of your questions which may not help or be as positive but I think you would want to know. I have just had a missed miscarriage last week and my foetus was removed by ERPC on Wednesday. I sadly still also have all of the symptoms, sickness, tiredness, sore bbs etc but I know my baby has been fully removed. I did an HPT yesterday which came up darker than control line in 30 seconds. It is heartbreaking but sadly the hormones do not drop straight away. Having asked my doctor why this is, they said that it could be another few weeks after baby has been removed to drop to zero and I am about 6 weeks earlier than you hun so it could take longer in your case. (so sorry babe)

Regarding movement, I also swore that I felt Evelyn move immediately before the scan where they told me she had died a week earlier. They told me that as there is a lot of space, baby could have been floating around and causing me to feel movement. I have another friend on here who said the same, she felt her little boy move when she knew he was gone. Sadly our bodies can be really cruel.

As for baby's size, after death, our babies slowly deteriorate and gradually get smaller. Evelyn measured smaller when she was born than she had in a 21 week scan 2 weeks earlier. She had sadly shrunk as she had been gone a while.

Having said all of this, please please make sure they haven't made a mistake. I had 2 scans before I believed them where they showed me that she had reduced in size and showed me her heart wasn't beating on 2 occasions.

I really hope for some good news for you

 

[amotherslove]

i am so sorry for your news. hold on and WAIT. do not let them convince you to do something until you are 100% sure.

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so sorry hon, I hope you get things resolved soon, and really hope for a miracle for you. I would go and get another U/S done as well, you need to know there is no doubt. xxx

 

[OliveBay]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are able to get some answers and confirmation of your situation before you take any action - we all torture ourselves with the what-ifs and maybe's and it sounds like you need to remove any doubts that your baby could still be alive before starting the process to deliver/ remove it, or you'll keep worrying about it.

Even though I saw my baby still and without a heartbeat on the ultrasound, there are still times I think 'what if they were wrong?, what if they made a mistake?' I think its natural for us to want to hope for the best, even when there is evidence to the contrary. When they were trying to find my baby's heartbeat all they could hear was mine through the placenta - could that be what happened in your case? I hadn't realised that would happen until they explained it to me.

I waited a few days after I found out my baby had died before going back into hospital to be induced and in those few days my stomach changed completely - it had been a lovely perky defined little bump (I was 22 weeks) but it very quickly went soft and squishy. My body must have known that something had changed. When I mentioned this to the bereavement nurse, she said that before the days of ultrasounds this was one of the ways they used to diagnose later stage miscarriages. I don't know if that helps, but I thought it was worth mentioning in case you notice changes like this yourself.

Once again, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation.

 

[jennijunni]

I lost a baby last month at 15 weeks, and this was my 7th pregnancy, second 2nd trimester in a row, so we were shocked, and I swore I felt her moving all the time, but I did not. Dont be scared of delivering her, just think of her like you do your other babies. She will look like a tiny baby, and you can hold her, and be with the baby a bit, it really does help. I would wait until you are sure though that the baby is gone. But with an US at this late in your pregnancy, it is pretty accurate, I am sorry to say that, I am not trying to be cold, really I am not. I am thinking of you, lots and lots of hugs, and prayers for you. Come and chat when you need too, we have been through this, and can hopefully help you cope, and listen when you need it. Hugs.

 

[mommyof_4]

Well I had my hgc drawn, and the levels were 1800 and yesterday I started having light brown/pink spotting, and contractions today!

I am so scared! More unrealistic fears, of bleeding to death! Or passing out from blood loss. I have had a 7 week loss before, and tw cramps were bad, but the bleeding was just like a regular period with bigger clots at the end. So I have no reason to be so scared. Our bodies know how to do this. So why do I panic? I am not scared of pain, just the bleeding. I have had not many periods in the last 10 years (due to pregnancies and nursing baby's). Haha, so it is not normal to bleed there and I always get scared!

Thanks for all your kind words. It is nice to do this with others, even if you dont know them!

 

[mhazzab]

thanks for updating us.
sorry I can't help you with what will happen as I haven't had this kind of loss, but I'm sure someone else will be able to come along and advise.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry this is happening and I hope it's not too painful or scary (physically) for you xxxx

 

[Mellybelle]

If the pain gets too much or you feel the blood loss is too heavy, go straight to hospital. I miscarried my baby naturally at almost 14 weeks, and the bleeding did get very heavy. I still needed a d&c afterward due to the bleeding and clots.

Be aware that at 11weeks your baby will look like a baby, although very small. About 5cm (CRL) with tiny arms and legs, fingers and toes.

I'm sorry if that sounds a little graphic, or upsetting. Its something that i was afraid of and needed to be prepared for. I miscarried my baby in the emergency ward in hospital and the doctor took her away then came back to ask if i wanted to see her and made sure I was prepared for what I would see. My husband and i both found it very comforting to see her and hold her. We didnt know the gender at the time, but found out later through DNA testing.

 

[SarahJane]

Well I had my hgc drawn, and the levels were 1800 and yesterday I started having light brown/pink spotting, and contractions today!

I am so scared! More unrealistic fears, of bleeding to death! Or passing out from blood loss. I have had a 7 week loss before, and tw cramps were bad, but the bleeding was just like a regular period with bigger clots at the end. So I have no reason to be so scared. Our bodies know how to do this. So why do I panic? I am not scared of pain, just the bleeding. I have had not many periods in the last 10 years (due to pregnancies and nursing baby's). Haha, so it is not normal to bleed there and I always get scared!

Thanks for all your kind words. It is nice to do this with others, even if you dont know them!

It is fine to be scared babe. It is a tough thing to deal with. I just wanted to send some love and hugs to you. I hope the coming days, weeks, months etc are kind to you.

 

[jennijunni]

I will caution you, doing this at home can be dangerous. I almost bled to death and had to have emergency surgery, and was transfused. I lost half of my blood volume. It was very scary. I was farther along, that could be why. I will just say, if you do not pass the baby in its sac of water, then you will most likely have to go to the ER. I hope you dont have to, and i hope that this is peaceful, and that all is well. Just take care.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so sorry you are going through this
I refused to have a D&E and I had my Ava at home, but the doctor said I could have bled to death, i didn't care and I still don't i was not getting a D&E. It seems to me in the UK they will give you a pill an make you give birth while in the US they push more for the D&E not sure why?
I wish much peace and so much love ,I am so sorry this is happening to you. I would also caution having done what I did . XOXOOXO

 

[KamIAm]

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about ya ....

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I'm so sorry hun x

 

[mommyof_4]

Ended up hemorrhaging bad! Had to be rushed to ER by ambulance.
Blood pressure went down to 50/30 and hemoglobin down to 74. They wantedto give a blood transfusion, but I said wait, I can fight this. I did fight through. This happened early Friday morning, I was able to be home with my other 5 children for Christmas. I had a small piece of tissue left showing up in a ultrasound 6 hours after baby came out. But I took the medication, and am pretty are I have passed it. Bleeding is extremely light now since Saturday. I have another ultrasound in a day or 2, to make sure it is gone.
That was the worst, scarest, traumatizing thing I have ever been through!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Ended up hemorrhaging bad! Had to be rushed to ER by ambulance.
Blood pressure went down to 50/30 and hemoglobin down to 74. They wantedto give a blood transfusion, but I said wait, I can fight this. I did fight through. This happened early Friday morning, I was able to be home with my other 5 children for Christmas. I had a small piece of tissue left showing up in a ultrasound 6 hours after baby came out. But I took the medication, and am pretty are I have passed it. Bleeding is extremely light now since Saturday. I have another ultrasound in a day or 2, to make sure it is gone.
That was the worst, scarest, traumatizing thing I have ever been through!

I am just SO sorry I am glad you are home and with your family. I wish you much peace and strength and much luck for 2012. I am so deeply sorry for your loss

 

[Mellybelle]

Im sorry it was so traumatising. Mine was quite scary too with my blood pressure dropping very low and blood on hand ready for a transfusion. I felt confident I was in good hands and the ER staff were very understanding. Im glad you did the right thing and rang an ambulance.

 

[majored]

Im very sorry to hear of your loss.
I was very worried about bleeding too much as well as having to go to the theatre for anything to be done. I began to deliver at home and just managed to get into hospital and in the end hardly lost any blood.

It been just over 2 weeks for me and im still bleeding brown but its very light and watery. I know it can be different for every one.

thinking of you xx