16 month old won't sleep without boob

[Kristina6292]

Can anyone help, my little boy is 16.5 months and hasn't slept through the night ever, he will only go to sleep if I'm breast feeding him. Wakes every 2-3 hours and wants feeding every time. I'm at my wits end, I've tried everything, took him to a specialist who just said stop feeding him. But I'm not ready to stop breast feeding yet.
Any help would be appreciated.

 

[kimberley3]

hello, no advice here but what a beautiful baby boy x

 

[Flake-y]

I don't think you need to stop BF if you don't want to. You could try doing his bedtime feed a wee bit earlier, so that when he's going to bed he's not falling asleep on the boob? I always used to feed lo in the chair, then give him a cuddle afterwards & sing songs with his room lights off. He was never asleep after a feed but the cuddle & songs helped relax him & helped him sleep. He still does get a cuddle & songs & he'll be 2 next week!

 

[ryleesmom]

i was wondering the same thing dd is the same way and shes almost 16 months it makes me want to quit breastfeeding but she isnt ready yet so not shure what to do sorry no help here

 

[divinelove]

Hi gorgeous mums!

I logged on today to post a question about this exact issue! My son is 16 months old and cannot sleep without BF -day or night so Im glad Im not the only one. I am totally fine about it as I think its beautiful -this is what loving mums do (and we co-sleep second half of the night) but my husband is now gently pressuring me to stop as everyone around us has babies that sleep through the night.They all bottle fed, use pacifiers and did a form of controlled crying so there is no comparison. I believe they have compromised their babies as harsh as that sounds. My husband would like to help out by putting my son to sleep but for night time and sleeping my son only wants my boobs so my husband is theoretically useless for this part of parenting. (However I feel this is how nature designed things). It is 100% normal for a baby to crave his/her mother for comfort during sleep. Its what all mammals do.

I really dont want to stop BF until my son is ready. I am also happy to BF throughout a second pregnancy and afterwards- although Im worried my son may get jealous of another baby feeding more than him (although thats a year away at least so Ive got a while to work on this). I find that offering him water during the night helps- still bf afterwards but it reduces the length of the feed and he wakes less afterwards. I'm also thinking I need to establish more of a routine with more predictable sleep cues such as bathtime/music/read a story/kiss teddy etc and also only let him daysleep in the middle of the day (11-1.30). Perhaps then he will be sleepier by the time bedtime arrives and the routine will offer some security as well. Im thinking I would like to introduce a comfort teddy that smells like me? Also Im thinking I need to exhaust him a bit more in the day- going to the park etc.... but deep down I know that just wont curb his instinct to suckle himself to sleep.

It is so hard because most mums nowadays wean extremely early and use pacifiers (which is fine) but my son uses me as his "pacifier" and his comfort. It would be much easier if my son would just take a pacifier but he wants no part of it.
All I can say is I think you are doing a fantastic job. In time our babies will all self wean when they are ready and we will look back on that special time as precious moments we will treasure forever. Maybe we should start feeling proud of how responsive we are to our babies' needs?

 

[FAB mama]

No advice really, but my LO is 10 months and we're in the same situation. My husband would like to help put him to sleep, but LO rarely lets him (even after nursing). I wish I knew what to do. I'm ok with it for now, but I don't want it to continue on forever. He also wakes every 2-3 hours some nights.

 

[kimberley3]

such lovely post kristina, come on and read them (im going to text you when i find my phone to tell you to come on) x

 

[sewing_mama]

My baby is 10 mnths old and still feeding to sleep for every nap and at night... although she will sleep in her buggy or carrier too she can't self settle. I'm ok with it for now too but I'm starting to wonder about how to transition to self settling. I'm hoping it will happen gradually as she gets older.

 

[SarahBear]

Have you tried bed-sharing? You can sleep through the night feedings that way. I breastfeed and bed-share. The only thing keeping me from having a full night sleep is the internet!

 

[Kristina6292]

Sorry haven't been on to reply sooner.
I'm so so glad I'm not the only one going through this.
He's always been a terrible sleeper, at the moment he is waking about 3-5 times a night and will only go back to sleep with boob. I'll end up spending an hour, cuddling, rocking, rubbing back, stroking hair ect and in the end all he wants is to feed which takes 5 mins! So understandably it is easier to feed him and get back to bed quicker. :/
I don't want to bed share because he is used to his bed now and he moves so much he falls out my bed, luckily he doesn't fall out his bed anymore (thanks to bed guard).
I've literally tried everything there is to try get him to sleep better with no luck. Even a sleep specialist just told me to stop breast feeding otherwise he'll never learn!

 

[SarahBear]

Even a sleep specialist just told me to stop breast feeding otherwise he'll never learn!

That's just ridiculous! Even if he's a sleep specialist, he's clearly not a nursing specialist! I breastfeed, bed-share, and am letting Violet wean naturally. I don't have any advice for night-weaning unless you want some encouragement to not do it... I guess all I can say is don't let some jerk convince you to completely wean.

 

[daneuse27]

I don't think you necessarily need to stop breastfeeding, but I think you need to break the sleep association that he has with breastfeeding. Do you nurse him only before bedtime, or naps too? Can he nurse whenever he wants throughout the day or is it strictly a bedtime ritual?

Reason I ask is because nursing was only a nap/bedtime thing for my daughter when she was still nursing (she nursed until 13 months and gradually weaned herself off.) I too though wanted to stop the sleep association so that she wouldnt always be dependent on it in order to sleep. It wasn't easy, and took up to a week. I think you just need to stop nursing when he's still awake, and then cuddle/hold/rock him until he's asleep and then put him down. From there, you can gradually put him down more and more awake until he eventually learns to self settle.

I did this with my daughter and she now goes down awake, self settles and STTN almost always So it can be done, it just takes patience and persistance on your part. The key here is to just stop nursing to sleep. Allow him to see how other things (white noise while being cuddled, or you signing softly) can be a soothing thing to go to sleep to as well.

 

[Kristina6292]

Thanks. He does tend to "help himself" throughout the day but doesn't have a proper feed unless it's before nap or bed time.
I don't intend on giving it up yet. I'll wait till he's ready, I just want some help getting him back to sleep during the night and stop the night wakenings.
I'm currently trying the Dr Jay Gordon method.

 

[wtt :)]

Our son is almost 2 and still wants the boob to fall asleep My husband also wants to help put him to sleep but that has only worked for about a month or so now. I think our kids decide when they are ok without the boob

 

[Dragonfly]

This is normal, they do grow out of it. I have proven that to myself to say that.

 

[bitethebullet]

No advice unfortunately but just to say that I am also in a similar situation with my 12 month old. I want her to self wean but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon and the night wakenings are killing me and making me useless at work! I will be stalking this thread.