1st try at TTC failed :(

[21yrsurvivor]

Has anyone else gotten depressed and weepy after your first attempt failed? I always thought AF was terrible, now AF is evil. I'm so weepy right now because I told my boyfriend that there was a chance of me being pregnant and he was so happy. He kept saying,"I knocked you up on the first try!" and he had the biggest smile on his face. I'm so down right now, crying and feeling like I let him down. Has anyone else ever felt like this after the first failed attempt?

 

[sarah2211]

Yes, you'll soon learn this thing is a roller coaster of emotions, usually not good ones.

After the first month I was still pretty optimistic. Most couples take at least a few months, especially if you're ntnp (not charting and timing). Doctors don't consider it a worry until you've been ttc for 12 months when you're under 35 and don't have other hormonal things, like PCOS (in that case they say 6 months before seeing a doctor).

My husband and I have had 7 months worth of that feeling. Other couples on here, much longer. I can't say it gets any easier, so keep as positive as you can. All the best

 

[Aayla]

I have been full time TTC for a year now. My first attempt with letrozole I didn't ovulate. that sucked because we didn't even get a shot. The 2nd cycle I ovulated but I had lost my job and was so stressed that we didn't time anything right and my temps were a mess I don't even have a pattern that shows where I ovulated. I got my bfp on our third cycle. But alas it ended in mc. I have done 4 cycles on letrozole since (took a bit of a break Feb to april) and every time I get a bfn and af comes is heartbreaking. Every single one. I was so sure I was pregnant back in Jan that I would have bet money on it. I had every symptom I had with my bfp.

It doesn't really get easier to be honest. Some things do. It's gotten easier for me to be around pregnant friends and family and go to baby showers and celebrate the births. In my darkest time of dealing with another medical issue that kept us from ttc years ago, I once dealt with 14 different pregnancies in a year and half. some were the same woman on her second child. It was hard. but I got through it.

what helped for me was sharing my journey. Some don't want to. it is, technically an aspect of your sex life but I found my fertility journey was something that so many women deal with and yet no one knows what is really going on. One of the best ways to help me heal was to announce the miscarriage on fb. 1) it kept me from having to tell everyone individually as we had announced the pregnancy 2) it lets everyone know what I am going through and that I don't always have to put on the brave face.

I do hope you have it easy. If you are healthy and have no fertility issue then you should be pregnant within the year assuming you are timing everything right. if you are just winging it, it could take longer. so I highly recommend temping and charting.

This site has also been a savior. You will find the women here are great and nice and helpful and we have all been through it. You will find support here and a place to rant. and you can even make friends here. a few of the ladies I now I have as fb friends.

good luck in your journey!! I hope to see a bfp post soon from you!!

 

[21yrsurvivor]

Yes, you'll soon learn this thing is a roller coaster of emotions, usually not good ones.

After the first month I was still pretty optimistic. Most couples take at least a few months, especially if you're ntnp (not charting and timing). Doctors don't consider it a worry until you've been ttc for 12 months when you're under 35 and don't have other hormonal things, like PCOS (in that case they say 6 months before seeing a doctor).

My husband and I have had 7 months worth of that feeling. Other couples on here, much longer. I can't say it gets any easier, so keep as positive as you can. All the best

Thank you Sarah for the motivation. It is much needed. I'm sure I will start to get the right from of mind once I get going. I just went in with my hopes too high I believe. Ove read that the average time is 3-6 months. My brother and his girlfriend took 3 months when they were TTC before she got a BFP. Now they have a beautiful 4 month old boy. I just love him...he's what gave me baby fever LOL. I didn't start charting till after my ovulation this month and I would have done it sooner if I had known to do that. I have learned so much these past 2 weeks about TTC.

Thank you much for writing to me and encouraging me *hugs*

 

[21yrsurvivor]

I have been full time TTC for a year now. My first attempt with letrozole I didn't ovulate. that sucked because we didn't even get a shot. The 2nd cycle I ovulated but I had lost my job and was so stressed that we didn't time anything right and my temps were a mess I don't even have a pattern that shows where I ovulated. I got my bfp on our third cycle. But alas it ended in mc. I have done 4 cycles on letrozole since (took a bit of a break Feb to april) and every time I get a bfn and af comes is heartbreaking. Every single one. I was so sure I was pregnant back in Jan that I would have bet money on it. I had every symptom I had with my bfp.

It doesn't really get easier to be honest. Some things do. It's gotten easier for me to be around pregnant friends and family and go to baby showers and celebrate the births. In my darkest time of dealing with another medical issue that kept us from ttc years ago, I once dealt with 14 different pregnancies in a year and half. some were the same woman on her second child. It was hard. but I got through it.

what helped for me was sharing my journey. Some don't want to. it is, technically an aspect of your sex life but I found my fertility journey was something that so many women deal with and yet no one knows what is really going on. One of the best ways to help me heal was to announce the miscarriage on fb. 1) it kept me from having to tell everyone individually as we had announced the pregnancy 2) it lets everyone know what I am going through and that I don't always have to put on the brave face.

I do hope you have it easy. If you are healthy and have no fertility issue then you should be pregnant within the year assuming you are timing everything right. if you are just winging it, it could take longer. so I highly recommend temping and charting.

This site has also been a savior. You will find the women here are great and nice and helpful and we have all been through it. You will find support here and a place to rant. and you can even make friends here. a few of the ladies I now I have as fb friends.

good luck in your journey!! I hope to see a bfp post soon from you!!

Thank for your inspiring words, it is much needed. I had a feeling it does and doesn't. I do have A very mild case of PCOS, it used to be worse a couple years back but finally my numbers are at a good place. The thing that makes it hard is my boyfriend works as a long distance truck driver and only has 2 days off (Saturday and Sunday) every 2-3 weeks. So it makes it hard to plan because he can be gone when I'm fertile.

I used to belong to another big TTC/pregnancy community group online and I was only on there for a week before I threw in the towel, they were extremely rude and it was nothing but negative. Here I am TTC #1 and had so many questions about IB and if I was having it. They didn't want to answer any question with a FF chart. I felt belittled on there. Here I already love the support everyone gives one another, such as yourself. People like you help people like me that don't have experience in this just yet. Thank you so much for the wonderful reply! I will definitely be KIT.

 

[Aayla]

when I have googled stuff I have come across different sites. There are some that they severely restrict what is talked about in a thread. So if the thread is TTC and you get a bfp you can't announce it. Or if you do, that's it you can no longer talk about it. No mention of current children etc. it's crazy.

Here, I am part of a long ongoing thread and it's in the two week wait area. But some of the women have just given birth, some are ttc, some are pregnant and just about to give birth, some are just pregnant. It's called The Fab Testers and Supporters. you should come say hi and join.

I have only come across one lady on here I had a bit of an issue with and i have been on here a year.

How did you get your PCOS under control. I have severe PCOS.

it will be a tad more difficult when hubby is away a lot but you'll get there. At some point it will sync up. patience is going to become your greatest strength. lol

 

[21yrsurvivor]

when I have googled stuff I have come across different sites. There are some that they severely restrict what is talked about in a thread. So if the thread is TTC and you get a bfp you can't announce it. Or if you do, that's it you can no longer talk about it. No mention of current children etc. it's crazy.

Here, I am part of a long ongoing thread and it's in the two week wait area. But some of the women have just given birth, some are ttc, some are pregnant and just about to give birth, some are just pregnant. It's called The Fab Testers and Supporters. you should come say hi and join.

I have only come across one lady on here I had a bit of an issue with and i have been on here a year.

How did you get your PCOS under control. I have severe PCOS.

it will be a tad more difficult when hubby is away a lot but you'll get there. At some point it will sync up. patience is going to become your greatest strength. lol

I was on babycenter.com and that was just full of rude women. They treated you like you were the most stupid person in that group. My final question I posted was a graphic picture of what I thought was IB (because other women did it too) and the group leader was saying "we can't say or help you without your FF chart!!!" Just flat out rude. So far everyone on here has been so nice to me. There was only one girl on the other group that was sweet.

The thing that helped me was 3 injections of Depo Lupron...but OMG I wouldn't touch that stuff again with a 10 foot pole. The first month I felt really good, 2 month my pain was so much better but I then started to get depressed. The 3rd month I thought about committing suicide. It made me so depressed, especially at night. I had that 2 years ago and I still have depression problems. As a matter of fact my therapist thinks that's what sparked Bipolar 1 disorder in me. That medicine needs to be taken off the market. It basically puts you is a temporary false menopause.

It is tough having him gone so much. Especially with TTC. It's definitely going to help me grow stronger. There are days it really sucks but I go through it and know I will see him soon.

 

[sarah2211]

No problem. My husband and I thought it'd take 2-3 months tops but after 7 months, it's gone from excitement to frustration mainly.

My husband is in the army and goes away lots too. So I know what you mean about your husband. I don't have any advice, it's just not fair and you have to do the best you can with what you've got. We've had one month when he was away, but it's also the unknowing of whether he'll be here next month.

Try not to compare yourself to others. Some people conceive quickly or by accident. It's hard and I do it too but it only makes you feel worse.

If you have PCOS, don't go more than 6 months of trying without seeing a doctor. Mine is also mild. My sister in law and step sister both have severe PCOS. They both fell pregnant very easily and more than once by accident. Just because it's mild doesn't mean that it won't effect you TTC.

You don't need to temp or chart if you don't want to, but I'd recommend it. It gives you a little bit of control in this thing you've got virtually no control over. If you do, use Fertility Friend and get a BBT thermometer. OPK often don't work correctly for women with PCOS. I check temp and CM and that works for me.

Good luck. If you want to chat or just need to vent, feel free to send me a private message